VENTRAX VIEWS E-MAGAZINE Issue 264 Vol. G6 May 2013 PP12812/10/2012(031058) THE SECRET TO DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE: ITS ABOUT YOU PG.2 5 TIPS FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE PG.4 CONTROL FREAKS PG.6 EVALUATING STAFF PG.12 THE RIGHT WAY HANDLING ANGRY CUSTOMERS PG.16 LEARNING TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE PG.17 PLACEMENT FEES ARE CHEAP WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM THIS WAY PG.22 SELF DEVELOPMENT SEMINAR “HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE” PG.8 TIME MANAGEMENT WITH DR. VENGA PG.11 THE SECRET TO DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE: IT’S ABOUT YOU Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our sense of equilibrium, security, and wellbeing. This is especially true when the person you’re struggling with is your boss. The problem is that being in charge of other people rarely brings out the best in us. Blaming others for how we’re feeling is a form of self-protection. Whatever is going wrong isn’t our fault. By off loading responsibility, we feel better in the short-term. The problem with being a victim is that you cede the power to influence your circumstances. The painful truth when it comes to the people who trigger you is this: You’re not going to change them. 2 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my The only person you have the possibility of changing is yourself. Each of us has a default lens through which we see the world. We call it reality, but in fact it’s a selective filter. We have the power, to view the world through other lenses. There are three worth trying on when you find yourself defaulting to negative emotions: The Lens of Realistic Optimism - Using this lens requires asking yourself two simple questions when you feel you’re being treated badly or unfairly. The first one is “What are the facts in this situation?” The second is, “What’s the story I’m telling myself about those facts?” Making this distinction allows you to stand outside your experience, rather than simply reacting to it. It also opens the possibility that whatever story you’re currently telling yourself isn’t necessarily the only way to look at your situation. The Reverse Lens - This lens requires viewing the world through the lens of the person who triggered you. It doesn’t mean sacrificing your own point of view but rather widening your perspective. How many times has something that felt terrible to you in the moment turned out to be trivial several months later, or actually led you to an important opportunity or a positive new direction? It’s nearly certain that the person you perceive as difficult views the situation differently than you do. With the reverse lens, you ask yourself, “What is this person feeling, and in what ways does that make sense?” Or put more starkly: “Where’s my responsibility in all this?” The Long Lens - Sometimes your worst fears about another person turn out to be true. He is someone who bullies you unreasonably and seeing it from his perspective doesn’t help. She does invariably take credit for your work. When your current circumstances are incontrovertibly bad, the long lens provides a way of looking beyond the present to imagine a better future. Begin with this question: “Regardless of how I feel about what’s happening right now, how can I grow and learn from this experience?” www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 3 5 TIPS FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Some people are just plain hard to get along with. But you don’t have to let them get under your skin. Unfortunately, difficult people — be they co-workers, bosses, or customers — face us constantly. The way we handle them can affect our job, our advancement, and even our health. Here are some tips to help you cope with these problematic relationships. 1: Try not to take things personally Sometimes, people are difficult simply because of who they are. It might have nothing at all to do with you. So try not to take it personally — even if the comment is directed at you. That person might be that way with everyone. Taking such comments personally only makes dealing with that person harder for you. 2: Ask questions rather than making statements For example, if someone insists on keeping all of your backup tapes in the server room, resist your first urge to state the idiocy of the idea. Consider instead a question such as, “So what will we do if a fire destroys the data center?” If the person responds, “We will simply do a restore,” ask, “How will we do a restore if the only backup tapes were destroyed in the fire?” 3: Use “I” rather than “you” Using a statement that contains “I” involves less risk than a statement that 4 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my contains “you.” The first pronoun doesn’t sound like an accusation, so people are less likely to react negatively. For instance, instead of saying, “You never sent me that email,” consider saying, “I never received that email.” 4: Turn the tables Difficult people like to take the offensive, and they like to put other people on the defensive. Try turning the tables on that person. For example, if someone says, “We can’t do that,” ask, “What CAN you do?” If that person says, “We can’t be ready by that date,” ask “When CAN you be ready?” or “What factors are keeping you from being ready on that date?” 5: Express appreciation when appropriate Even if someone has a difficult personality, that person can help you learn a skill or give you insight. If that happens, let the person know you appreciate it. Just be sincere. Nothing turns a person off more than someone who is trying to curry favor. One hint: if you do thank or express appreciation to such a person, do it without smiling, because your words will sound more sincere that way. Easy to say; hard to do, since most criticism is personal. DON’T TAKE THIS CRITICISM PERSONALLY Easy to say, hard to do. In fact, “don’t take it personally, “would rank near the top of my all time list of useless things to say to people. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with the concept, it’s just that people who are taking things too personally are so seldom consciously aware of what they’re doing that the advice is perceived as just another personal attack. What does it mean to take things personally? All of us have external things -- our children, our pets, our favorite sports teams, and our creations at work -- that we experience as if they were parts of our bodies. Psychologically, we make little distinction between verbal disparagement of these things and physical attacks to our vital organs. When it comes to criticism, we all take it personally. It’s part of our psychological makeup. We’re hard-wired to defend what we do and what we love. That doesn’t mean we have to respond to every criticism with an instinctive kill-orbe-killed counter-attack. Luckily, we have evolved brains that are capable of over-riding our primitive default settings. We just have to remember to use them. Here are some suggestions on how to keep from being seen as taking criticisms too personally: Stop and think before you say anything -- This is good advice no matter what the situation. When you feel attacked the first thing that pops into your head is seldom the most effective response. If you make it a practice to wait twenty-four hours before you answer criticisms the people around you may be so surprised by your maturity and reasonableness that they will listen to you for a change. Listen carefully -- Every criticism contains useful information as well as an attack. If you don’t hear anything useful at first, keep listening until you do. Ask for advice rather than giving answers -- The explanations you think of will sound perfectly reasonable and at least 150% correct. To you. To other people they will sound like a misguided defense against a misperceived personal attack. Most any explanation you choose will make you look even more wrong. Trust me on this. If, by sheer force of reason, your explanation actually succeeds in getting the criticism modified or withdrawn, it may feel like you’ve won, but it probably means that people have decided it’s easier to humor you than treat you like a rational human being. What if you have to criticize someone who takes things too personally? Structure the situation so that he or she doesn’t have to admit wrongdoing by accepting what you have to say. In Asia they’d call it allowing the person to save face. Make it clear in your comments that you understand how a reasonable and honorable person might do what he or she did. Direct your advice toward improving the situation rather than pointing out mistakes. Focus on what you want to happen rather than what’s wrong with what has already happened. Come to think of it, this is a good way to present criticism to anyone, because you never know who’s going to take it personally. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 5 CONTROL FREAKS Why are some people obsessed with control? Do they think they have the only brain on the planet? Why do they insist that everything be done their way even when you can show them that your way works just as well? Or better. What is it with these control freaks? and more of the person’s daylight world. The safe area becomes narrower, and the only way to keep back the creatures of the night is with more control and more distance from the awful possibility of fear. If you ask them about it they’ll just say they’re doing their job. Control freaks see themselves as overburdened with the task of protecting an ungrateful world from mistakes. They are seldom aware of the abject terror at the heart of their obsession. So what do you do if you have to work for one of these poor, frightened people? Getting mad and calling them control freaks will make the situation worse. They will see your behavior as clear evidence that they must watch you even more closely, because you’re the one with the problem, not them. Imagine a dog inside an electric fence. After he touches it once or twice, you can turn off the power, because he won’t go near it again. This is the way people with control problems deal with their fear of making mistakes. Somewhere in the dim past perhaps they were burned badly, but now they never get close enough to their fear to see if the power is still on. They spend their lives keeping themselves and others away from the fence. The strategy is self-defeating. Unconfronted fears mutate in the darkness beyond the fence like alien fungi. Gradually they take over more 6 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my Forget trying to talk them out of it, too. Even seasoned therapists have trouble convincing the control obsessed that their behavior might be causing more problems than its solving. (Between you and me, at least part of our difficulty lies in the fact that it’s always hardest to cure people who have the same neuroses as we do.) The answer to working with control freaks lies in negotiation, not recrimination. Every task has an end product -- whatever it is that needs to be done -- and a process -- the actual behaviors through which the end product is achieved. Negotiate to deliver a very specific product at a very specific time. If you hand over the goods, there is less motivation to quibble about how you got them. Not that the control-obsessed person won’t try. Treat attempts to control the process as requests to change the end product, which any business person would have to agree would reopen the whole negotiation. If the end product is not affected, why change the process? Needless to say you have to have some history of delivering the goods for a strategy like this to work. Bottom line is: If you do what you say, when you say you’ll do it, the control freak will go and bother somebody less reliable. By the way, if you are wondering whether or not you might be a control freak, there is a sure test. If, once every day, you can’t publicly acknowledge how somebody else’s way of doing something important was better than yours, start looking for that invisible electric fence around your mind. A mistake every day keeps the fear away. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 7 SELF DEVELOPMENT SEMINAR S May 2013 DATE: 9 MAY 2013 TIME: 6.00PM - 8.00PM VENUE: BANKER’S CLUB PENTHOUSE AMODA BUILDING 22, JALAN IMBI 55100 KUALA LUMPUR MALAYSIA H HOW TO DEAL WITH D DIFFICULT PEOPLE Also available this month on 11 May 2013 (Saturday). Time : 10am – 12pm Venue : Ace Professional Studies Sdn Bhd. C-2-23, 8 Avenue, Jalan 8/1 Seksyen 8 Petaling Jaya Selangor Individuals behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action.” - Robert M. Bramson • we cannot avoid crossing paths with difficult people – we can learn how to cope with difficult people.. • Have you ever been a difficult person? …..find out more in our SDS T TIME MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP T Time Management Workshop is specially designed to help The yyou understand and use the planner. The better you organise yyour time with your planner, the better you can use your time for attaining your personal and organizational goals. You’re most fo welcome to bring along your friends and colleagues. TIME MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP AT VENTRAX OFFICE. PLEASE CALL 03-8062 1133 TO BOOK YOUR SEAT. CALL 03-8062 1133 AND 65-6484 8850 OR EMAIL US AT SALES@VENTRAX.COM.MY OR VENTRAX@SINGNET.COM.SG FOR ANY ENQUIRIES. 8 “FORMAL EDUCATION WILL MAKE YOU A LIVING; SELF EDUCATION WILL MAKE YOU A FORTUNE.” - JIM ROHN Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 9 10 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my Time Management with Dr. Venga Remember that setting goals and planning are only as good as the subsequent implementation of those plans. There is no short cut in time management. Your plan should be very simple that takes you from where you are to where you want to go. Before you make plans for others, you must ensure you have a plan for yourself. It is crucial for you to think of how you are going to increase your efficiency. You must strive to eliminate unnecessary work and offload activities that can be performed by others. Use your resources to prepare for priority work. Analyse the task, organise what needs to be done, delegate non-core tasks and then spend some time to supervise. This will allow you to keep ahead of things. Next spend your time getting the right things done. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 11 EVALUATING STAFF THE RIGHT WAY By Neil Clark Staff evaluation will crash and burn on one simple thing: opinion. If you evaluate your staff based on your ‘opinion’ of how well they are doing, you are leaving yourself open to failure and upset. The best method of evaluating staff is to base it on measurable performance. If you set the targets and how these targets will be measured, you have a much firmer footing to base your evaluation upon. Before you sit down to set the scene with your employee, spend some time to work out the parameters of the evaluation. Firstly, decide on the time factor. You are going to evaluate this employee’s performance after a set period of time. This might be months, or it could be a whole year. Make sure the staff member understands this timing. Next, lay out the target, or targets, that are to be achieved. These should be in line with their overall job description, of course. A target is a specific result. It should be measurable; that is, you should be able to put numbers to it. It could be an increase in production, expressed in units or as a percentage increase. Test the measure. Make sure that you are able to track easily identifiable statistics that the employee will agree to. If you run into difficulties here, your target may be off. Go back and review what it is that you are asking the employee to achieve. Maybe your target (the specific result) is not realistic. 12 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my A clear example is in sales. A target could be expressed as achieving a certain sales volume during the time period. Or, for an accounts person, it could be the percentage of outstanding payments collected on time. Both of these are easily measurable. Once you have a realistic set of targets with logical forms of measurement, you are ready to start the process. Sit the employee down and go over it with him. Get his agreement that the targets and forms of measurement are realistic. If he does not agree, probe this carefully. He may know something you do not! Alternately, he may be trying to manoeuvre you into an easy evaluation. It is your call. Just consider both angles. An important part of the process is to do some performance reviews along the way. Do not leave employees in the dark as to what you think of their performance until evaluation time comes around. If the evaluation timeframe is one year, review their progress quarterly. This gives them time to correct any shortcomings and get back on track before the end. Also, as their manager, you should help them overcome any stubborn barriers they are encountering. Top performers will usually find a way around, over, under, or through such brick walls. Mediocre or poor performers will have more difficulties here. Help them blast their way through these stops; it is in your interest, after all, to have them succeed. If you base your staff evaluation on performance, by setting targets that can be easily measured, there is no opinion involved. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 13 & BUSINESS ETIQUETTE CORPORATE STYLE TIPS Q: When a wine glass is placed on a table at a restaurant, how do I signal that I don’t want any? A. Never turn a glass or cup upside down to decline service. If you don’t want your wine glass, coffee cup, or water glass filled (or refilled), hold your hand over the glass. If the server fills it before you have a chance to signal no, leave the beverage untouched for removal after the meal. Q: I frequently respond to business e-mails via my mobile device. Must I include a salutation? A. The type of device you use to send e-mail has little to do with proper e-mail etiquette. Instead, consider your relationship to the recipient, the intended degree of formality, and whether your message is a standalone reply or part of a longer chain of responses. On a first reply when communicating for business, use a salutation that includes the recipient’s name, whether it’s “Dear Christine,” “Hi, Christine,” or simply “Christine.” While a salutation is unnecessary thereafter, it is considered more formal and appropriate when communicating with a senior associate or an important client. 14 Ventrax Viewss Ma May 2013 | www.ventrax.com. www.ventrax.com.my www ww w tra tra raxx.co x co myy Q: What is the “silverware-placement code” for telling wait staff you’re done with your plate? A. Rest your fork, tines up, and knife, blade in, with the handles resting at 5 o’clock and tips pointing to 10 o’clock on your plate. Leave any unused silverware on the table. Another way to signal the wait staff you have finished your meal is to leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of the place setting. Don’t twist or crumple the napkin or refold it so it looks unused. Never leave the napkin on the chair. Don’t push your dishes away from you or stack them for the waiter when you are finished. Leave plates and glasses where they are. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 15 HANDLING ANGRY CUSTOMERS One angry customer can spoil your whole day -- unless you have a working knowledge of neurophysiology. Angry people are using the walnut-sized part of the brain that hasn’t changed since the age of dinosaurs instead of the more intelligent hardware that has evolved over the past hundred million years. The dinosaur in them can bring out the dinosaur in you, which leads to the Godzilla-meets-Rodan effect, in which there is considerable sound and fury, but very little constructive reasoning. The secret of dealing effectively with angry customers are to stay out of your dinosaur brain long enough to get them out of theirs. Here’s how: ASK FOR A MINUTE TO STOP AND THINK: This will have a calming effect on you and the customer. No one will get angrier at you for asking for time to think things over. KNOW YOUR GOAL: The dinosaur’s rules are simple -- if attacked, fight back or run away. Either response will make the situation worse. Try instead to help your customer calm down and use the part of the brain that can reason. Remember, you can’t help a person and get her back at the same time. IF THE OTHER PERSON IS YELLING, don’t DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET HIM OR HER TO STOP: Just keeping your own voice soft may do the trick. Saying “Please speak more slowly. I’d like to help,” works particularly well on the phone. Have you ever tried to yell slowly? On the phone remember the “Uh-huh” rule. We usually respond with “Uh-huh” when the other person takes a breath. If you go three breaths without saying “Uh-huh” the other person will stop and ask, “Are you there?” Following this technique will allow you to interrupt without saying a word. DO NOT EXPLAIN! Explanations are all too often a disguised form of fighting back or running away. The typical explanation boils down to: “If you know all the facts, you will see that I am right and you are wrong.” You cannot be right and effective at the same time. Don’t even try. LET THE CUSTOMER KNOW YOU HEAR: Before you try to solve the problem, let the customer know that you understand why he or she is upset. This will save you from having to hear it again. ASK, “WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?” This question is usually the last thing an angry person expects. He’ll have to stop and think to answer. This is exactly what you want. NEGOTIATE: It’s a lot easier when the customer is using the part of her brain you can negotiate with. P.S. These techniques also work on angry people who are not customers. Even spouses. 16 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my LEARNING TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE HERE’S HOW YOU CAN COPE EFFECTIVELY WITH FOUR COMMON TYPES OF DIFFICULT PEOPLE. OPENLY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE Stand up to them, but don’t fight. Overly aggressive people expect others to either run away from them or react with rage. Your goal is simply to assertively express your own views, not try to win a battle of right and wrong. First, wait for the person to run out of some steam. Then call the person by name and assert your own opinions with confidence. SNIPERS Difficult people are experts at taking potshots and making sneak attacks in subtle ways, such as humorous put-downs, sarcastic tones of voice, disapproving looks and innuendoes. You may feel uncomfortable replying to them because you don’t like confrontation. This, however, allows snipers to get away with their covert hostility. Respond to a sniper with a question. “That sounds like you’re making fun of me. Are you?” A sniper usually replies to such accusations with denial, “I’m only joking.” Nevertheless, questioning covert attacks will reduce the chance for similar attacks in the future. COMPLAINERS These are fearful people who have little faith in themselves and others because they believe in a hostile world. Their constant discouragement and complaining can bring everyone to despair. “Don’t try to argue these difficult people out of their negativity. Instead, respond with your own optimistic expectations,” says Bramson. SILENT PEOPLE People who ignore you, give you sullen looks, and/or respond to every question with either “I don’t know” or silence are difficult because they’re timid. Silent people get away with not talking because most people are uncomfortable with silence and are too quick to fill in the gaps. Ask them questions that can’t be answered with just a “yes” or “no,” such as, “Why is it uncomfortable for you to answer my questions?” Then wait at least one full minute before you say anything. This long silence may make them uncomfortable enough to say something. If they do start talking, listen carefully. DON’T GIVE UP Dealing with difficult people takes practice, so don’t get discouraged. Although these strategies won’t change the difficult people, they will break their ability to interfere with your effectiveness,” says Bramson. “Most important, you’ll feel more confident and you’ll start to enjoy your workdays.” www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 17 DIFFICULT PEOPLE COME IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE VARIETY. Some talk constantly and never listen. Others must always have the last word. Some coworkers fail to keep commitments. Others criticize anything that they did not create. Difficult coworkers compete with you for power, privilege and the spotlight; some go way too far in courting the boss’s positive opinion – to your diminishment. Some coworkers attempt to undermine you and you constantly feel as if you need to watch your back. Your boss plays favorites and the favored party lords it over you; people form cliques and leave you out. Difficult people and situations exist in every work place. They all have one thing in common. You must address them. No matter the type of difficult situation in which you find yourself, dealing with difficult people or situations is a must. WHY YOU MUST DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Initially, people go into shock when they are treated unprofessionally, so if you take some time to understand exactly what is happening to you, you are not alone. Once you are fully aware of what is happening, deciding to live with the situation long term is not an option. You become so angry and feel so much pain that your efforts to address the situation become irrational. It’s far better to address the difficult person while you can maintain some objectivity and emotional control. Constant complaining about the coworker or situation can quickly earn you the title of whiner or complainer. Managers wonder why you are unable to solve your own problems – even if the manager’s tolerance or encouragement of the situation is part of the problem. WORST CASE SCENARIO IF YOU FAIL TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Most importantly, if you are embroiled in a constant conflict at work, you may not only get blamed for being “unable to handle the situation like a mature professional,” you may be labeled as a “difficult” person, too. This label is hard to escape and can have devastating consequences for your career. Finally, if the situation continues to deteriorate over time, the organization and your boss may tire of you. The boss may decide you are a “high maintenance” employee, easily replaced with a more professional or cooperative person, and you could lose your job. 18 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my Stress symptoms vary greatly from one person to the next, but the most universal sign of stress is a feeling of being pressured or overwhelmed. Other symptoms include: • PHYSICAL COMPLAINTS (stomachaches, headaches, chest pains, nausea, and diarrhea, and a sensation of numbness or tingling in your hands, arms, and face.) • PROBLEMS GETTING ALONG WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS, AND TEACHERS. > Changes in behavior at home (short temper, unexplained anger, crying for no reason). • REGRESSION -- behavior that is not age-appropriate. > Dysfunctional sleep patterns, including nightmares, too little sleep > Communication difficulty or personality changes, such as becoming withdrawn or requiring much more attention than usual. • IMPATIENCE If you are experiencing a few of these symptoms, chances are that your level of stress is high. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 19 ATTEMPT THE QUESTIONNAIRE AND TRY TO FIND THE RIGHT ANSWER…….. ITS TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE. 1) You’re working at a service desk, facing a long line of shuffling, impatient customers. One of them steams forward from the back and says, “I refuse to be treated like this. Do you know who I am?” You: A. Say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Stewart! Of course, I’ll take care of you right away.” B. Loudly address the other people in line, asking: “Does anyone know who this woman is?” C. Say: “I know that you are a customer who needs help, and I’ll be happy to help you when it’s your turn.” 2) No matter how hard you work, your boss makes passive-aggressive comments that suggest you’re loafing. You: A. Say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Stewart! Of course, I’ll take care of you right away.” B. Loudly address the other people in line, asking: “Does anyone know who this woman is?” C. Say: “I know that you are a customer who needs help, and I’ll be happy to help you when it’s your turn.” 3) You rush home from work and excitedly tell your husband that you’ve been promoted. He says, “Gosh, at your company, they’ll promote anybody.” You: A. Laugh it off, thinking he’s probably right. The company is a little short-staffed. B. Say, “Ed, I really feel demeaned when you talk to me like that. Do you have a problem with my promotion?” C. Grow furious, stomp your foot, and say: “You’re always saying stuff like that to me! What’s wrong with you?” 4) Your father, who consistently says you’re a spendthrift, is shocked by the price of your new condo. “You’re stupid to pay that much,” he suggests. “Can’t you find something cheaper?” You respond: A. “I guess I could.” B. “Stop treating me like a kid. This is my money, and I’ll do what I want with it.” C. “I know it seems high to you, but homes were cheaper the last time you bought one. Real estate prices have changed.” 5) The saleswoman was charming when you bought six suits from her, but hostile when you returned half of them the next day. You: A. Report her attitude to the management. B. Feel cowed. Maybe you are making a big fashion mistake. You can’t afford them all, but you could scrimp next month. C. Persist with the return, and vow to shop elsewhere from now on. 20 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my 6) You introduce a new idea at a meeting only to hear a consistently negative coworker mumble, “Yeah, like that’s going to work.” You say: A. “Vanessa, we’re all sick of your rudeness. You never let anybody finish before you shoot us down.” B. “Vanessa, what part of this do you think isn’t going to work?” C. Say nothing, but lose your enthusiasm and finish your thoughts in a thin, teary voice. 7) You’re driving but your friend keeps shouting “Look out!” as she clings to the door handle and slams her foot onto an imaginary brake. You: A. Empathize with her anxiety, and drive at a snail’s pace to calm her down. B. Say: “It’s hard for me to concentrate on driving when you’re doing that. Please try to calm down, and next time, you can drive if you like.” C. Pull over to the side of the road, and say: “You’re driving me nuts! Stop it!” 8) There are problems in your marriage. Whenever you try to confide in your mother, she just says, “You made your bed, now lie in it.” You: A. Stop talking to her. Why bother? B. Keep conversations with her light, and find more sympathetic people to confide in. C. Finally get up the courage to confront her, telling her she’s always been a terrible listener and you wish she’d change. 9) No matter what you try to discuss with your teenage daughter these days -- from friends to the weather -- she bristles or whines or stomps about. You: A. Whine back: “Oh, precious pumpkin, what have I done to upset you? It must be me.” B. Continue to schedule mother-daughter time, and remind her you’re on her side, no matter what. C. Shout back: “Gosh, you are so darned impossible!” 10) You’re taking a continuing ed course for fun, but the teacher routinely insults the students. One day, when you ask a question, she shouts: “Aren’t you doing the course reading?” You: A. Let it go, but pull her aside after class to explain that asking questions is the best way for you to learn. B. Shout right back: “I am, but neither you nor the book explains things clearly.” C. Apologize, and tell her you’ll stop asking questions from now on. www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 21 PLACEMENT FEES ARE CHEAP WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM THIS WAY Employers seldom complain about the services of headhunters, it’s the headhunters’ fee that has become their pain point. A few months ago I was a presenting at a seminar to about 35 business owners and HR professionals. The topic of the presentation was “How to Recruit like a Headhunter” and during the presentation I made the statement “If you are not using headhunters as your primary recruitment weapon, then you are not hiring the best talent in-the-market”. One individual took offense to that particular statement and became very irate. He stood up, pointed his finger directly at me and said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about because we hired some pretty good people, and they are working out just fine. And we didn’t use headhunters.” Without any hesitation, here’s how I responded: Sir, you are absolutely correct. You really don’t need headhunters to hire the best talent on-the-market. However, what would you say was the difference between the best talent in-the-market and the best talent on-the-market? I watched his eyes roll as he struggled to find a good answer. Without waiting for his response, I asked if anyone in the audience 22 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my knew the difference. What I heard wer a number of resume related answers such as: the ones with the best resumes; or, the ones presently work for the big brand name organizations; or, the ones that were educated at the most prestigious universities. My reply was that they were all very good answers, but they were not the number one answer. The number one answer is the best talent in-the-market are most likely those individuals who are not actively searching for a job. Passive v. Active Why? It has been my experience that to be wooed by a competitor is the expectation of top talent. They don’t get excited just because a job matching their skills and experience was advertised; they have to be strategically motivated, and sold on that particular job opportunity. So, if you are not using headhunters, then you are hiring the best talent from among only the individuals actively looking for a new job. And, there is a significant difference in the caliber of talent when you compare those actively looking to those not actively looking for a new job. To prove my point, I tried to get the audience emotionally involved in the debate. I took a quick survey by asking four simple questions: 1. How many of you know of someone actively searching for a job? Almost everyone raised their hands. 2. How many of you are actively searching for a new job? Three individuals raised their hands. 3. How many of you are not actively looking, but would listen to details about another job opportunity if you believed that it could be of some interest to you? Half the individuals in the room raised their hands. 4. How many of you are not actively looking, but would seriously consider another job opportunity if you were convinced the job would not only improve your standard of living, it would also advance you career to the next level? Almost everyone raised their hands. Big Pool v. Puddle I pointed out that the result of that survey was similar to recruitment activities in a niche market. The best talent most likely will be from the group of individuals that are not actively looking. So, if you are not using headhunters, you are not hiring the best talent from the entire talent pool; you are hiring the best talent from a puddle. With all the new recruitment apps that are available, the big job boards, and the growing appeal of social media, are you trying to convince us that headhunting is the most effective recruitment method available, was the question asked by the same individual. I said yes it is and I will tell you why. Recruit ahead of the need; I’ve never heard of that, he said. I explained it means we don’t wait for a job to become open to start recruiting individuals; we recruit for a job before it becomes open. And the only way that is possible is if you are committed to building relationships from a recruitment perspective. But, you also have to be passionate about recruiting to be committed to it; and when you are committed you will live and breathe recruiting 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. A good headhunter will know who the most talented individuals are; they can identify the hardest workers from the slackers; they know the ones who operate below the radar screen; and they also know the ones with the most potential. They do the hardest part of recruiting for you, which is developing relationships. About that Fee Apologetically, he said, “I didn’t mean to imply that headhunters were not effective, but what are your options if you don’t have the budget to pay headhunter fees?” Therein lies the problem, the headhunter fee. But it is also a tremendous opportunity for headhunters to make more placements. How? They just need to do a better job of selling the economic value of using professional headhunters, or demonstrate creative ingenuity in the pricing of headhunting services. Recruiting Ahead of Need The reason headhunting remains the most effective recruitment method is because as headhunters we recruit ahead of the need! www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013 23 DON’T MISS THIS! Catch Dr Venga addressing issues on time management over Bernama Radio24 station @ 93.9FM live every Mondays at 9.15pm 24 Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my Repeat every Sunday at 9.15pm www.ventrax.com.my | Ventraxx V Vie View Views ie iew ew ew wss M Ma May ay 20 2 2013 013 13 25 2 5
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