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THE BANNER OF THE DESERT
THE NEWSLETTER OF PFLAG
PALM SPRINGS/DESERT COMMUNITIES CHAPTER
OUR THIRTY-FOURTH YEAR, October, 2014, Volume 34, No. 10
PFLAG Meeting
Sunday, October 19th at 2:30 p.m.
At the Cathedral City Library Community Room
Our speaker will be Ron deHarte, President of the Greater Palm Springs
Pride Board of Directors. Ron will tell us all about the new events and changes
for this year’s Pride celebration.
Come to the meeting and pick up your free PFLAG — “Care With Pride”
shirt for the Pride Parade on November 9th.
A Message from the Editor – by Mike Balasa
Carol and I met a family in Washington that had a situation that we knew little
about. Their 17 year old child came out to them as “gender fluid”. Non-binary, agender,
genderless, non-gender, gender neutral and neutrois are other terms that are used. Individuals
who identify themselves as gender fluid do not want to be categorized as male or
female. They are not usually asexual nor do many of them categorize themselves as
transgender; they feel that their experiences are different. Many don’t feel comfortable being
labeled as gay or lesbian for the same reason.
Gender fluid persons do not want to be referred to as “he” or “she”. Some want to be
called “they” and some have adopted new terms such as “ze”, “xe”, “ou” or “ey”. Needless to
say persons who interact with a gender fluid person have a hard time getting the pronouns
right.
I am still confused about the sexual orientation issue. Are gender fluid persons willing to
partner with and marry another person of either sex or do they prefer a male or female
companion? I did find in my research that gender fluid persons do have a preference, but they
consider their sexuality different from their gender. The World Health Organization definition
of sex refers to biological traits and gender refers to socially constructed roles. In other words,
gender fluid people don’t want to behave, dress or be seen as male or female.
Some gender fluid persons will have surgery to remove breasts or other secondary sex
characteristics such as hair on the body that make them appear feminine or masculine. Being
called beautiful or handsome would bother a gender fluid person as that would suggest a
sexual identity.
PFLAG supports parents, families and friends of anyone who fits in the category of sexual
minority. Someday we will have parents of a gender fluid child attend our meeting and we will
learn more about this issue. As always, I know we will be supportive and caring.
Pride Parade Sunday, November 9th
This year the parade will start at Tacheva Drive and will go south on Palm Canyon Drive to
Amado Drive, approximately 3/4 of a mile. Step off time is 10:00 A.M. The Pride Festival area
is located this year at the end of the parade route. The festival has no entry fee and will
stretch from Amado to Baristo.
We don’t know what position we will have in the parade, but when you arrive at the
starting point you can ask any of the volunteers where the PFLAG contingent is or you can call
the PFLAG information line. As usual we will have our banner prominently displayed.
We will have cars available for anyone unable to walk the route. Please call the information
line and let us know if you need a ride. We will also have plenty of cold water available.
Once again we will distribute Johnson and Johnson coupon books which contain a safeschools message. Johnson and Johnson sends a substantial donation for our efforts. If you
have an energetic person in your circle of friends or family that would like to help us pass out
the coupons, that would be appreciated.
We would like to have a large contingent, so feel free to bring guests along.
Justice Ginsburg Gives Clue To Supreme Court Thinking
Justice Ginsburg, in a speech to a large crowd at the University of Minnesota Law School in
September, told the audience to watch closely the decision of the 6th Circuit Court on same-sex
marriage in Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio and Tennessee. She said that if the court allows the ban
on same-sex marriage to stand, that would run counter to the trend of other Circuit Court
decisions across the nation. If the court rules in favor of same-sex marriage, the Supreme
Court will not feel rushed to take up the case this term. If the ban is upheld then the Court
would feel pressure to step in and rule on the same-sex marriage issue.
Ginsburg said that same-sex marriage is gaining support; because, people are coming out
and people are realizing that many of their relatives and friends are gay or lesbian. Presently
GLBT’s can wed in 19 states and the District of Columbia.
Maryland Judiciary Holds Summit On GLBT Foster Children
Last month in “The Banner”, we did a report on the shutting down of the Riverside CASA
(Court Appointed Special Advocate) that provides protection for children in the foster care
program. The Riverside program included a special outreach to GLBT youth. It was the first in
the country to recognize the special needs of GLBT foster care youth. On September 10th,
the Maryland Judiciary held a summit to address the issues of GLBT youth in foster care. The
summit, “Identifying, Supporting and Meeting the GLBTQ Youth” was thought to be the first in
the nation. Attending were judges, court professionals, attorneys, social service professionals
and others who work in the foster care program. The director of the Foster Care Court
Improvement Project said, “The summit was about promoting greater awareness, fostering
education and taking action to address the varied needs of GLBTQ youth in foster care. The
participating local teams now have an action plan that serves as a blueprint which identifies
current resources as well as resources that may be needed in the future to better serve GLBTQ
youth. Over the next few months, the local plans will be refined and teams will assess who
else needs to be at the table.”
It is unfortunate that the CASA program for GLBT youth in Riverside County was
defunded. It was obviously necessary, and the action in Maryland proves that other areas of
the country recognize the problem that GLBT youth face in foster care programs.
Census Bureau To Count Same-Sex Couples
The Census Bureau found that in the U.S. there are 252,000 households of same-sex
couples. This is an increase from the estimated 182,000 couples in 2012. This is only a small
percentage of the total of all married couples which stands at 56 million. The Williams Institute
issued a report that the Census Bureau statistics may be flawed. Many same-sex couples
incorrectly identify their relationship or are fearful of being identified as a same-sex couple if
they live in an area where anti-GLBT sentiment is high.
I HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN HONG KONG --By Bob Warburton
Bob and I met him in Paris on the way to Madrid. Dan is 32, was traveling with his Mom,
and was to meet his girlfriend in Spain. Dan allowed at an earlier age he lived in North America
and lived with guys. In other words, we had much in common. And in the last few months, we
have found we are all also democrats.
I just now wrote Dan after seeing video reports of the demonstrations by students in Hong
Kong against the Chinese regime. The current row began after the Chinese put in a new law,
which allows people to vote freely, but only for the candidates the Chinese Communist Party
choses. Theoretically the Communist Party will pick the best candidates to choose from, but I
would not want to trust Beijing.
So Dan spends his time with his family, teaching at a University, and attending
demonstrations. He sent me pictures of the quiet candle light remembrance of the attack on
Tiananmen Square in June. And BREAKING NEWS, he just sent me a picture he took of the
crowd physically pushing against the police line today. I am proud of Dan. He and hundreds of
thousands of people are demanding their right to the franchise.
The U.S. is about to have an election, and in California it is easy to vote. It is literally one of
the easiest places to vote in the world. One does need to register, unlike some countries, but
you can do that on line a month or more before the election, or in person at the polls on
Election Day. One does not have to even show up at the polls, but can have the ballot sent to
your home and vote at your leisure.
So why don’t more people vote? In the parlance of today, IDKY! One “problem” with
California is that we have so much democracy the ballot is confusing. There is a myriad of
propositions and a plethora of candidates. But that should be a good thing. Heck, we even
have openly LGTB candidates running here. In much of the Nation that is not true. And yet
California has a low turnout even compared to the rest of the U.S.
All I can do in this land of riches is encourage people to vote this November. Don’t let a
small bunch of no nothings decide who will run our Country. Do it for the people fighting for
democracy in Hong Kong. Heck, do it for yourself.
Membership Drive Begins
Once again it is time for everyone to renew their yearly membership with the Palm
Springs/Desert Communities PFLAG. We will send reminders via e-mail in the days
ahead. This year we are designating our single and family membership as donations. While
we have a suggested amount, any donation either less or greater will be sufficient for
membership. Donations can be made on line at our website: PSPFLAG.org
SEPTEMBER 21, 2014 PFLAG MEETING – By Jacquie Spencer
Our September 21st meeting was very exciting and informative. Shelli Orion, who is the
head advocate with the Trans Community Project, spoke of the challenges and
accomplishments made this year in the Coachella Valley, as they strive to educate and advocate
for our community.
Shelli is originally from Canyon Lake, which is where George and I lived for two years. As
Shelli stated, Canyon Lake is a more conservative area in which, according to their
demographics, (I looked this up prior to moving there), only counts 0.1 percent of their
population as being gay.
Shelli is a fantastic speaker, charismatic and witty. She had us
laughing and sometimes in shock concerning the many hardships Trans have to endure in order
to just try and exist in this troubled world of ours.
One subject brought up by Shelli was the fact that when a Trans person needs medical
attention, how do professionals handle it? Sometimes not so well. You don’t always want to
explain to every individual that comes along, who is part of the medical team, every aspect of
your life when say, you might just have a hang nail, especially when you know the medical
profession isn’t all that well versed on Trans issues.
Another upsetting thought which was brought up, concerned parents of Trans. We all know
that the percentage of parents accepting their gay children is not exactly high, (but we believe
that is changing). However, parents accepting their Trans children, the percentage is much
lower. Hopefully with the help of organizations such as PFLAG and the Trans Community
Project, this too will change.
Shelli explained to us what the Trans Community Project was all about and how they are
helping the community. First off, the Project consists of a group of community advocates who
strive to create a stigma-free Coachella Valley for our Trans community. They provide training,
support, assistance with documents, and services specific to the Trans community. They also
offer a Trans Palm Springs chat group where all can meet in a safe environment and express
their concerns and desires. The Trans Community Project also works with businesses and faith
based organizations to bring about a truly Trans inclusive community here in the Coachella
Valley.
PFLAG wishes to thank Shelli and all who are involved in the Trans Community Project. The
more we work together to educate, advocate and support one another, the sooner we will reap
the benefits. Hopefully someday, it won’t matter what we look like, how we act, (a girl must
play with dolls—a boy must play with trucks, etc.) The only thing that will matter is what’s in
our hearts. Remember, our body is only a shell; we need to uncover the shell and really look
inside a person to uncover the true individual.
Religious Acceptance of Gays
A Duke University study found that religious congregations are becoming more sympathetic
to GLBT issues. From 2006 to 2012 the percent of congregations across the country that allow
GLBT persons to be full-fledged members increased from 37 to 48. Over the same time span,
the percentage allowing GLBT persons to hold any volunteer or leadership position rose from
18 to 26.
The Catholic Church, despite a seemingly more sympathetic Pope, was an exception with
congregations showing less acceptance of GLBT members. An example of hostility in the
Catholic Church, a priest in Lewistown, Montana, told two men who have a 30 year relationship
and were legally married in Seattle, that they must separate, obtain a divorce and write a
statement renouncing their marriage. If they failed to follow his instructions the men were
told they could no longer received the sacraments of the church or be part of any
ministry. The priest is newly assigned to the parish. The two men were members of the
parish since moving to Lewistown in 2003.
Pope Francis named a new Bishop for the Chicago archdiocese. The new Bishop, Blasé
Cupich, formerly Bishop of Spokane, Washington, is considered a moderate. He frequently
speaks out for tolerance of gays and lesbians but is still outspoken in his opposition to same-sex
marriage. Many observers believe that Pope Francis is slowly leading the Church to adopt a
more conciliatory message on the hot button social issues. Polls consistently show that the
laity is much more accepting of same-sex marriage than the official dogma.
PFLAG Membership
If you would like to join PFLAG, you may use a secure donation connection on our web
site: PSPFLAG.org You may also print and mail the form below. All of our expenses go to
furthering our mission. No one in our local chapter receives any compensation for their
labor. Our expenses are for materials that we supply to individuals, schools and supporting
organizations; newsletter production, support to local schools’ Gay Straight Alliances; and,
many other occasional expenses such as the Pride Parade. We also send $15 of your dues to
PFLAG National.
You may pay on line using a secure connection at www.PSPFLAG.ORG or use the form below:
______________________________________________________________________
PFLAG MEMBERSHIP FORM
Name______________________________________________
Address____________________________________________
City____________________________________ZIP_________
Phone No.___________________________________________
E-Mail______________________________________________
Suggested Donation: Family Membership $50 ________ Individual $30 ________
Make check payable to PFLAG and mail to:
PFLAG
611 S. Palm Canyon Drive 7-262
Palm Springs, CA 92264
______________________________________________________________
PFLAG INFORMATION LINE: (760) 202-4430
EMAIL: INFO@PSPFLAG.ORG
WEBSITE: WWW.PSPFLAG.ORG
Chapter Officers
President: Mike Balasa
Vice-president: Carol Balasa
Secretary: Christine Hammond
Treasurer: Ron Wallen
Assistant Treasurer: Stuart Lynn
Directors:
Bob Edgerly, Gina Orban, Herb Orban,
Jacquie Spencer, George Spencer,
Bob Warburton, Sly Zelnys