Download Report

Curses!
Once upon a time a
witch (who adored
beards) put a curse upon a man
named Benny, a curse to turn him
into clay if he ever shaved again.
Well, Benny didn’t believe in
curses, so the next morning he got
up and started to shave. As soon
as he ﬁnished the ﬁrst stroke with
his razor, POOF, he turned into a
(lovely) porcelain vase.
Which just goes to show you, A
Benny Shaved is a Benny Urned.
Oct. 2014
COFFEE
BREAK BIZ
Georgia South Carolina
799.99
$
Bed + Dresser +
Mirror + Nightstand
55 5 CLASSES
$
FOR
INCLUDES
F
R
E
E
UNIFORM
799.99
$
2899
$
CLASSES FORMING NOW
.99
Bed + Dresser +
Mirror + Nightstand
Bed + Dresser +
Mirror + Nightstand
MATTRESSES
$99.00 .....Star Twin Size
$139.00 .....Full
$149.00 .....Queen
$199.00 .....King
$79.99 .....Bunkie Twin
ROBINSON’S ATA BLACK BELT
CONTACT US NOW:
912-748-4505
BEAUTY and BEYOND
22 COLEMAN BLVD.POOLER
FINANCING and LAYAWAY AVAILABLE
WWW.POOLERMARTIALARTS.COM
October Wisdom
Halloween is the beginning of the
holiday shopping season. That’s
for women. The beginning of the
holiday shopping season for men is
Christmas Eve. ~ David Letterman
I think if human
beings had genuine
courage, they’d
wear their costumes
every day of the
year, not just on
Halloween. ~
Douglas Coupland
912.356.5454
1711 E. Victory Dr. Savannah
Evelyn’s
Williams Upholstery
Used Furniture
Residential
Marine
Commercial
Fabric & Design
912-692-1170
2117 Shell Rd Suite C, Savannah
www.williamsupholsteryandfabrics.com
ﬁnd us on Facebook
 20 Hour DUI / Risk Reduction Course
 6 Hour Defensive Driving
 Drug and Alcohol Evaluations
 ASAM Level I Treatment
 Driver Training
POOLER
STATESBORO
www.rinconthriftshop.com
111 SE Hwy 80
17067 Hwy 67
912-988-3063
912-623-2038
www.1stopdriving.com
Quality Used Furniture
at a Great Low Price
912-988-1694  912-306-9296
502 E. Hwy 80  Bloomingdale, GA
page 2
LOW COST ADVERTISING
Coffee Break Biz
10% DISCOUNT
when paid in advance
3 months or more
$100 per month for 2¼ by 3
$100 per month for 4½ by 1½
$125 per month for 2¼ by 4
$150 per month for 2¼ by 5
$150 per month for 4½ by 2½
$200 per month for 3½ by 5
$400 per month for half page
$700 per month for full page
$250 per month for Spotlight ad
reaching
Savannah • Chatham,
Efﬁngham & Bryan Counties
& South Carolina
912-349-7730
Read the paper on our website at
WWW.COFFEEBREAKBIZ.BIZ
email: info@coffeebreakbiz.biz
FOR ADVERTISING
CALL
Bill Williams
Nicole Ritchie
912-349-7730
There is a child
Of Treats... in every one of us
who is still a trick
or treater looking for a brightly-lit
front porch. ~ Robert Brault
Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the
ﬁnal haul on Halloween night.
~ Steve Almond
Southern Recipe
Food & Fun
From Scratch!
Pumpkin Turkey Chili
Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped yellow bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 pound ground turkey
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 dash salt
2 cups pumpkin puree
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 cup sour cream
(or more, to taste)
Directions
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and saute the onion, green
bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and garlic until tender. Stir in the turkey,
and cook until evenly brown. Drain, and mix in tomatoes and pumpkin.
Season with chili powder, pepper, and salt. Reduce heat to low, cover, and
simmer 20 minutes. Serve topped with Cheddar cheese and sour cream.
Makes 6 servings.
Ummmm! Dessert
Rocky Road Popcorn Balls
Ingredients:
3 cups miniature marshmallows
1/4 cup butter
8 cups freshly popped popcorn
1/2 cup dry-roasted unsalted peanuts
1/2 cup miniature chocolate chips
Directions:
Place the marshmallows and butter into a large pot over medium-low heat,
and melt them together, stirring often. Cook until blended and smooth, about
5 minutes, and remove from heat. Stir in the popcorn and peanuts, and stir
gently to thoroughly coat them with the marshmallow mixture. Stir in the
chocolate chips. With greased hands, shape the mixture into 3 inch balls,
and wrap each ball in plastic wrap. Makes 16 popcorn balls.
Strawberry Ghosts
30 fresh strawberries
8 ounces white baking chocolate, chopped
1 teaspoon shortening
1/8 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
Wash strawberries; pat dry with paper towels.
Microwave white chocolate and shortening at
50% power till melted; stir until smooth. Stir in
extract. Dip strawberries in chocolate mixture;
put on waxed paper-lined baking sheet (let excess
chocolate form the ghosts’ tails). Immediately
press chocolate chips into coating for eyes. Freeze 5 minutes. Melt
remaining chocolate chips in microwave; stir until smooth. Dip a toothpick
into melted chocolate and draw a mouth on each ghost. Makes 30 “ghosts.”
Casual Family Restaurant
& Neighborhood Bar
Savannah’s
Only VIDEO WALL
17 Feet!
16 Beers on Tap
Great Food
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT
& SPECIALS ALL WEEK
1190 King George Blvd. • Savannah
(912) 920-7772 • rachaels1190.com
HELP WANTED
ADVERTISING SALES REPS
Coffee Break Biz
needs Sales Reps for
Georgia
South Carolina
Retired Military Welcome
We also need bilingual Sales Reps!
Call Bill Williams
912-349-7730
Dairy Definitions
Soy milk: Milk that’s attempting to
introduce itself in Spanish.
Skim milk: Water that’s lying about
being milk.
Chocolate milk with
Oreos: Yes, please.
“You have to be a romantic to invest
yourself, your money, and your time
in cheese.” ~ Anthony Bourdain
One of Those Hall
of Fame Moments
Back at my high school for my
tenth reunion, I met my old coach,
Mr. Carlier. As we walked through
the gym, we came upon a plaque
on the wall which announced that I
was the school’s record holder for
the longest softball throw.
Proud, but a little surprised – it had
been ten years, after all – I paused
in front of the plaque, just as Coach
Carlier said, “That record will stand
forever.”
I think I shufﬂed my feet – I know
I blushed. Clearing my throat, I
was about to thank him for his
conﬁdence in me, while adding
something becomingly modest,
like ‘records exist to be broken,’
when the coach added, “We stopped
holding that event years ago.”
Trouble at the
Golf Course
George and Jeff were out golﬁng
one morning. George sliced his ball
deep into a wooded ravine, so he
grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded
down the embankment into the
ravine in search of his ball.
As he searched diligently through
the thick underbrush, he spotted
something shiny. When he got
closer, he realized that the shiny
object was in fact an 8-iron, lying
in the hands of a skeleton that was
stretched out near a weathered
looking golf ball.
“Jeff,” George yelled. “Get
over here. I’ve got big
trouble down here.”
Jeff peered into the ravine.
“What’s wrong?” he yelled back.
“I need you to throw me my 7-iron!
It looks like you can’t get out of
here with an 8-iron!”
BAYOU CAFE
PUERTO RICO
RESTAURANT
6.95
SPECIALS
Savannah’s Only
Authentic Puerto
Rican Restaurant
Served with
rice, beans, salad
& drink
Full Meals
Baby Back Ribs
LIVE MUSIC
7 NIGHTS A WEEK!
$
LUNCH
Sandwiches
GOOD TUNES.
Providing Savannah with
great live Classic Rock &
Blues for 20-plus years.
GOOD FOOD.
Mouth-wateringly good
Original Cajun and
Southern cuisine.
Seafood, Wraps, Fish,
Burgers, Sandwiches,
Chowder and Veggie
Friendly dishes.
Thurs. Night: Blues Night
Tues. Night: Open Jam Night
w/ Eric Culberson Blues Band
Home of the world famous BAYOU HOT SAUCE!
310 E. Montgomery Crossroads Suite 1
Catering Available
Mon - Thurs:
11am to 3pm
Fri - Sat:
11am to 7pm
912-233-6411 • 14 N. Abercorn Ramp • Savannah
912-224-4017
BBQ
Large Selection
of Side Orders
on Historic River Street
www.bayousavannah.com
912-373-4272
1304A Hwy 80 ♣ Bloomingdale, GA
next to Randy Wood’s Guitars
AUTO INSURANCE
A new kind of “RESALE” store designed for all
women - sizes 0 to 26, petites and maternity.
We buy and sell brand name, gently used,
in-style fashions EVERYDAY.
ann taylor | banana republic | chicos | coach
dooney & bourke | express | j.crew | lane bryant
loft | louis vuitton | white house black market
25%Off
one item
*Coupon can not be used in conjunction with any other offer.
Expires:
10/31/14
Expires: XX/XX/14
7400 Abercorn Street #812, Savannah
912-777-4755 | clothesmentor.com
1. LEESNKTO _______________
2. SKMA ____________________
3. OMEZIB __________________
4. THGOS __________________
5. PIDERS __________________
6. EARTT ___________________
7. MRSOTEN ________________
8. PNMKUPI _________________
9. DNACY ___________________
10. POKSOY ________________
• Drivers With Violations
• Safe Driver Discounts
• Young Drivers
ALL TYPES OF INSURANCE
• Life Insurance
• Health Insurance
• Medicare Supplement
ADVANTAGE INSURANCE
(912) 920-0278
820 E. Derenne Ave • Savannah
11. IMAERVP ________________
12. ICRTK __________________
13. CIFNOF _________________
14. ETROCBO _______________
15. HTCWI __________________
16. MYMUM _________________
17. UECMOST _______________
18. RSAYC __________________
19. EATUHDN _______________
20. ABT ____________________
Spooky
Word
Scramble
1. SKELETON 2. MASK 3. ZOMBIE
4. GHOST 5. SPIDER 6. TREAT
7. MONSTER 8. PUMPKIN 9. CANDY
10. SPOOKY 11. VAMPIRE 12. TRICK
13. COFFIN 14. OCTOBER 15. WITCH
16. MUMMY 17. COSTUME 18. SCARY
19. HAUNTED 20. BAT
page 3
Spotlight
on
COFFEE BREAK BIZ
912-349-7730
info@coffeebreakbiz.biz
Coffee Break Biz News:
 We’ve expanded into South
Carolina
 We’ve added the Network Travel
Guide
 We’re looking for Sales Reps in
Georgia and South Carolina
About Our Paper:
Coffee Break Biz is published
monthly and is widely distributed in
Savannah and in Chatham, Efﬁngham
& Bryan Counties & South Carolina.
The paper can also be read online at
our website: www.coffeebreakbiz.biz.
Our ads start out at only $100 per
month. If you pay in advance for
3 months or more, you’ll receive a
10% discount on your ad price.
Don’t Miss Out:
Our publication has the most
enthusiastic and dedicated, cover to
cover readers you’ll find anywhere!
Your ad will get the attention it
deserves!
page 4
Say What, Again?
Herewith some results from a magazine contest that required
the participants to take a well-known phrase in any foreign
language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for
the new expression.
HARLEZ VOUS FRANCAIS?:
Can you drive a French
motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS: We’re wild
and crazy guys.
Only $250!
We can design an ad for you that
really makes your business stand out.
Call 912-349-7730
C a n i nMinister
e P ina Motion
lace
2805 Bull St.
Savannah, GA 31401
912-234-3336
www.caninepalacesavannah.com
Canine Palace is proud to support
COGITO, EGGO SUM: I think. Therefore, I am a
waffle.
RIGOR MORRIS: The cat is dead.
REPONDEZ S’IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you are
Scottish.
QUE SERA SERF: Life is feudal.
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI: The king is dead.
No kidding.
POSH MORTEM: Death styles of the rich and famous.
VENI, VIPI, VICI: I came. I am a very important
person. I conquered.
PRO BOZO PUBLICO: Support your local clown.
FELIX NAVIDAD: Our cat has a boat.
HASTE CUISINE: Fast French food.
VENI, VIDI, VICE: I came, I saw, I partied.
QUIP PRO QUO: A fast retort.
ALOHA OY: Love, greetings and farewell from such a
pain you should never know.
MAZEL TON: Tons of good luck.
APRES MOE LE DELUGE: Curly and Larry got wet.
ICH LIBERICH: I’m really crazy about having dough.
Showcase your business
in a Spotlight Column Ad!
Spotlight
on
FUI GENERIS: What’s mine is mine.
VISA LA FRANCE: Don’t leave your chateau without
it.
CA VA SANS DIRT: And that’s not gossip.
BUN JOUR: The daily special at the bakery.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were
before.
Saturday, October 25 • 12pm - 5pm
Trick-or-Treat with your pooch at over 90
businesses in Historic Downtown Savannah
• Costume Contest
• Rafﬂe Drawings
Fundraiser for local pet rescue groups
call 912-234-3336 for more info
Canine Palace
Where Every Dog Has Its Day Of Royalty
You’ll ﬁnd everything your dog needs (or
secretly craves) at Canine Palace. (We carry
great supplies for cats,
too!) In business for more
than nine years, Canine
Palace knows how to treat
your dog like royalty!
Come visit owner Sara
Portman – and be sure to bring your dog along!
Canine Palace is very (very) dog friendly!
Treat your best bud like royalty!
www.caninepalacesavannah.com
page 5
FREE
System
Sanitizing
Coffee for Grandma
Little Joey wanted to
surprise his grandmother,
so one morning he carefully made
a cup of coffee, all by himself, and
carried it to her proudly.
“Honey,” she said, “why are these
little plastic people in here?”
Joey replied, “You know, Grandma;
it’s like on TV: ‘The best part of
waking up is soldiers in your cup.’”
• Controls Dust Mites
• Reduces Allergies & Mold Spores
• Heating/Cooling More Efﬁcient
• Helps Eliminate Pet Dander
• Improves Air Quality & Sleep Better
Serving Chatham & Surrounding Counties
Independently Owned & Operated by Keith
EAMSPOR
T
S
R
E
Z
T
EE
T
Team Uniforms
In-House Screenprinting & Embroidery
Trophies, Plaques & Awards
912-927-4249
Canine Palace
2805 Bull St., Savannah • 912-234-3336
Highest-Quality Pet Foods
Collars, Leads & Jewelry
Treats! Awesome Toys!
Dog Beds & More!
Wed-Sat 12:00-6:00 Sundays 1:00-5:00
Bring your Best Friend along.
We're (very!) Dog Friendly.
912-754-9071
PAWN SHOP
• Gold
• Jewelry
• Guns & Firearms
• Musical Instruments
SINCE 1913
Midtown
32 E. Derenne Ave.
912-352-4474
Downtown
418 W. Broughton St.
912-233-1356
Eastside
3200 Skidaway Rd
912-356-9100
Rincon
586 S Columbia Ave. #10
912-826-6437
www.welshpawnshops.com
NOW OPEN!
Men’s and Women’s Fashions
and Accessories
We also carry great
stuff for cats!
307 South Laurel St. Springﬁeld
www.teezersteamsports.com
www.caninepalacesavannah.com
Word Search: HALLOWEEN!
BAT
WITCH
GHOST
SKELETON
COTTIN
SPOOKY
COUNT DRACULA
MUMMY
MONSTERS
HAUNTED
SCREAM
GIANT SPIDER
CACKLE
GRAVEYARD
BOO
EYEBALLS
FULL MOON
DARKNESS
COBWEBS
BLOOD
GOOSEBUMPS
WEREWOLF
CHATTERING TEETH
TROLL
••
• WELSH
Air Duct Cleaning & Dryer Vent Cleaning The BEST place to buy:
S
Grandma Alice was indeed
surprised. She was also careful
not to let on that it was the worst
coffee she’d ever drunk in her life.
Joey looked on, beaming, as she
forced down the last couple of
sips. Something bumped against
her lips, and Grandma Alice got
another surprise. There were three
little plastic Army ﬁgures wearing
camouﬂage outﬁts lying in the
bottom of her cup.
$$7500
00
value!
Duct Cleaning
EXPERTS
Women’s and Men’s Fashions
and Accessories
Come to
for great ﬁnds!
Open Monday-Saturday 10 am - 6 pm
912-355-3344
832 E. DeRenne Ave.  Savannah
next door to Baker’s Pride
helloagainsavannah.com
BAYOU CAFE
GOOD TUNES.
Providing Savannah with
great live Classic Rock &
Blues for 20-plus years.
LIVE MUSIC
7 NIGHTS A WEEK!
MOANING
CREAKING DOOR
ZOMBIE
GOBLIN
FRIGHTENING
GROSS
MIDNIGHT
BLACK CAT
FRANKENSTEIN
GOOD FOOD.
Mouth-wateringly good
Original Cajun and
Southern cuisine.
Seafood, Wraps, Fish,
Burgers, Sandwiches,
Chowder and Veggie
Friendly dishes.
Thurs. Night: Blues Night
Tues. Night: Open Jam Night
w/ Eric Culberson Blues Band
Home of the world famous BAYOU HOT SAUCE!
912-233-6411 • 14 N. Abercorn Ramp • Savannah
Catering Available
on Historic River Street
www.bayousavannah.com
PAUL’S AUTOMOTIVE, INC.
Custom Exhaust
w/Flowmasters
Pipebending
Mufflers
Also Specializing in:
Brakes • Tires • Alignment
page 6
‘Tis the Season:
Memorable Taglines
from Scary Movies
Frogs (1972): “Today
the pond! Tomorrow
the world!”
The Last House on
the Left (1972): “To avoid fainting,
keep repeating ‘It’s only a movie...
It’s only a movie...’”
The Lift (1983): “Take the stairs.
Take the stairs. For God’s sake, take
the stairs!!!”
(912) 826-5115
Paul Goss
Highway 21, Rincon
Owner
next to Badcock Furniture
Midway Auto Care
550 N. Hwy 17, Midway GA
(912) 884-6502
Coastal Auto Care
397 Flowers Dr., Hinesville GA
(912) 876-6502
UNDER SAME OWNERSHIP !!!
(912) 826-0949
Tires • Brakes • Alignments
307 S. Columbia Ave. Rincon
Dual (Hwy
Exhaust21Oil
Changes
across
from City Hall)
A/C Service • And More!
www.rinconthriftshop.com
www.rinconthriftshop.com
U-Haul Rentals Golf Cart Service
The Nail Gun Massacre (1985):
“It’s cheaper than a chainsaw!”
Re-Animator (1985): “Herbert
West has a very good head on his
shoulders...and another one in a dish
on his desk.”
Scarecrows (1988): “When it comes
to terror they’re in a ﬁeld of their
own.”
The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972):
“A true story.”
The Mummy’s Shroud
(1967): “Beware
the beat of the cloth
wrapped feet!”
Alligator (1980): “A frightening
movie with a sense of fun!”
Asylum (1972): “You have nothing
to lose but your mind.”
*Come see us for your automotive needs!
FREE DONUT SEEDS w/ oil change!
QUOTES
The scientiﬁc theory I like best
is that the rings of Saturn are
composed entirely of lost airline
luggage. ~ Mark Russell
Insanity is hereditary. You get it
from your children. ~ Sam Levenson
Grim (1995): “Don’t mix this movie
and pizza.”
The Vault of Horror (1973):
“Everything that makes life worth
leaving!”
The Blob (1988): “Terror has no
shape.”
Army of Darkness (1992): “Trapped
in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on
gas.”
Psycho (1998): “Check in. Relax.
Take a shower.”
Excuses To Use When
You’re Caught Sleeping
At Work
They told me at the blood bank that
this might happen.
Whew! I must have left the top off
the whiteout.
OLDEST INDEPENDENT BODY SHOP
SERVING SAVANNAH SINCE 1917
*A PROUD REPUTATION FOR
QUALITY WORK AND EXCELLENT SERVICE
RECORD WITH BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU
I wasn’t sleeping; I was meditating
on the mission statement and
envisioning a new corporate
paradigm.
This is one of the seven habits of
highly effective people.
I was testing the keyboard for drool
resistance.
I’m in the management training
program.
I’m actually practicing a Stress
Level Elimination Exercise Plan
(SLEEP), which was highly
recommended at the weekend
seminar you required me to attend
last month.
I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to
pick up my contact lens without my
hands.
Boy, that cold medicine I took last
night just won’t wear off.
Ah, the unique and unpredictable
circadian rhythms of the
workaholic!
912-234-6651
WWW.HOLLINGSWORTHAUTO.COM
500 MONTGOMERY ST.
SAVANNAH, GA 31401
ROGERS PACKAGE SHOP
2223 East Victory Dr., Savannah • 912-352-2999
Huge
Selection!
BEER • WINE
LIQUOR
Premium Cigars
Cigarettes
The coffee machine is broken....
DRIVE-THRU
Words To Live By
This Autumn
• Autumn is a season
for big decisions - like
whether or not it’s too late to start
spring cleaning.
• I got tired of looking at all those
leaves in my yard, so I got up off the
couch and went into action. I closed
the curtains.
Waxing Poetic
One of James Grainger’s poems
contains the following line.
“Now, Muse, let us sing of rats.”
It may not come as a surprise that
Grainger (1721-67) is considered a
leading candidate for worst
English poet of all time.
page 7
Frightful
Funnies
Q. What do you
call a vampire
who lives in a kitchen?
A. Count Spatula!
Q. What do ghosts wear on their
feet?
A. BOOts!
Q. What room can’t ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Q. When do vampires like horse
racing?
A. When it’s neck and neck!
We have long term 1st & 2nd shift positions for:
• General Labor
• Clamp Operators (must have at least
2 years of exp.)
• Veriﬁers
Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!
Q. Where do ghosts go on
vacation?
A. MaliBOO!
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. “You are my sunshine!”
Q. What does Frankenstein’s wife
wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!
Q. What kind of streets do zombies
live on?
A. Dead-ends!
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What is a ghost’s favorite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster!
Q. What is a skeleton’s favourite
instrument?
A. The trombone!
Q. What has webbed feet, feathers,
fangs, and goes quack-quack?
A. Count Duckula!
POWERSPORT
CENTER
5918 Ogeechee Rd ▪ Savannah
912-920-2626
HOME OF THE
KIDS BIKE TRADE UP PLAN
We take applications Tues & Thurs from 9-11am. Must bring
in ID to prove identity & show eligibility to work in US. Must
be willing to submit to drug test & criminal background check.
Must have reliable transportation
CALL TODAY!!!
(888) 912-8612
7722 Waters Avenue • Savannah
(between Mall Blvd and Eisenhower)
STATESBORO
https://www.facebook.com/HorizonStafﬁng
POWERSPORT
CENTER
22681 US Highway 80 E ▪ Statesboro
Q. What do you call a mummy
eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy!
Q. What do vampires never order
at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!
SAVANNAH
ASAP JOBS AVAILABLE
in Pooler/Garden City
912-764-2547
ULLIVAN
HEALTH MANAGEMENT GROUP LLC
Sullivan Health Management provides quality orthopedic
shoes and orthotics supplies (braces, wraps and stabilizers)
to residents in need. We have a variety of shoe styles, sizes
and widths to accomodate most wardrobes. As a trusted
orthopedic dealer, our staff will be able to equip you and your
loved ones with the right footwear. Call today: 912-352-0774.
SERVICES:
• Orthopedic Shoes
• Diabetic Shoes
• Orthopedic Products
• Comfort Shoes
• Arthritic Products
• Foot, Ankle and Knee Products
• In-home Consultations Available
CALL
912-352-0774
www.sullivan-health.com
We’re Hiring! We have exciting Sales
Employment Opportunities.
• Make your own schedule.
• Work with your own client list.
• Create your own itinerary.
Interested? Call 912-352-0774.
More Frightful Funnies
Q. What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?
A. He was repossessed!
Come by and talk to us about our
Kids Bike Trade Up Plan.
LAYAWAY NOW FOR CHRISTMAS
912-233-9401
210 W. Victory Dr. • Savannah
www.bicyclelinksav.com
Red Light, Green Light
Ralph and his friend were driving through
town when they came to a red light.
Cruising through the red light, Ralph’s
friend expressed concern.
“Don’t worry,” Ralph said. “My brother George does it
all the time, and he never gets caught.”
Coming upon another red light at the next intersection,
Ralph again went speeding right through.
“Don’t worry,” Ralph assured his friend, “George does
this every day, and nothing ever happens to him.”
At the next intersection, the light is green, and Ralph
comes to a complete stop.
“Why do you run through all the red lights and stop
when we come to a green light?” asks his friend.
“I’m always afraid that George might be coming
through,” replies Ralph.
Silence is not only golden; it is seldom misquoted.
~ Bob Monkhouse
Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spare ribs!
Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spookgetti!
We Pay Cash
page 8
Paula
Poundstone
on Pop-Tarts
“Inside there are three pouches of
two. This is what happens to me: I
open the ﬁrst pouch, and I eat one
tart, and I enjoy it very much, as
naturally I would. And then I feel,
Well, I have to eat the second one
or it will go stale. Well, now I’ve
eaten two, and it’s no longer just a
snack, it’s a meal. I ﬁgure I may as
well eat two more. And then ﬁnally
I’m just like, Well [heck], I don’t
just want two pop tarts hangin’ out
in a box. I eat the last two just to
tidy up, really.”
Over 200
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hookah
tobacco
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2 CONVENIENT LOCATIONS:
Transportation is provided.
GA caps welcome.
2 Convenient Locations near
Pooler, Port Wentworth & Garden City
912-596-4886 (mobile)
3806 Old Louisville Rd.
(near Chatham Pkwy)
912-349-3693
2826 US Hwy 80
(near Dean Forest)
912-977-6098
How Time Flies...
Mother asks little
Gary, as they wait
for the bus, to
tell the driver he is four years old
because that will allow him to ride
for free.
As they get into the bus the driver,
as expected, asks Gary how old he
is. “I’m four,” Gary says, obeying
his mother.
“And when will you be ﬁve?” asks
the driver, with a friendly smile.
“As soon as I get off the bus,”
answers Gary.
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Time to Celebrate!
In case Halloween isn’t enough to sate your holiday
appetite for the month, we offer some additional
October holidays you may want to consider
celebrating:
Oct. 2: Name Your Car Day
Oct. 6: Mad Hatter Day
Oct. 7: Bald and Free Day
Oct. 9: Curious Events Day
Oct. 9: Moldy Cheese Day
Oct. 12: Moment of Frustration Day
Oct. 17: Wear Something Gaudy Day
Oct. 21: Babbling Day
Oct. 21: Count Your Buttons Day
Oct. 24: National Bologna Day
Oct. 25: Punk for a Day Day
(912) 826-0949
826-0949
(912)
in Savannah Mall
307 S. Columbia Ave. Rincon
and
(Hwy 21 across
from City Hall)
7303 Abercorn St
www.rinconthriftshop.com
(near Wafﬂe House)
Coming About
A young man who wants to see the world
signs on to a steamship to be trained as
a helmsman. He masters the classroom
instruction, then starts his practical training at the
wheel of the vessel. In his ﬁrst lesson, the mate gives
him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then
the mate orders, “Come starboard.”
Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard
is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to
his instructor.
As the helm swings freely, the mate raises one eyebrow
and asks, gently, “Could you please bring the ship with
you?”
Dishing It Out
My friend’s husband always teases
her about her lack of interest in household chores.
One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator
magnet that read: “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.”
Oct. 29: National Frankenstein Day
The next day he came home to ﬁnd the magnet holding
up a slip of paper.
Oct. 30: National Candy Corn Day
The note read, “Neither does Bob Vila.”