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The Compassionate Friends
Saskatoon Chapter Newsletter
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
All materials are © Copyright and property of The Compassionate Friends Inc.
Welcome to all our Compassionate Friends and especially those newly bereaved who are receiving our
newsletter for the first time. Having to accept that a loved one is no longer with us is difficult to bear and
it can be especially hard to deal with the loss of our beautiful children. All that Compassionate Friends
can do is encourage you to lean on us when you need a place to grieve. We all know the pain caused by
the death of a child and we really want to help.
National Office
The Compassionate Friends of Canada, Inc.
3153 Marion Way
Nanaimo, BC V9T 3Z8
Toll Free: 1 866 823 0141
Email: nationaloffice@tcfcanada.net
Website: www.tcfcanada.net
Saskatoon Executive
Wendy Novakovski - Executive Chair
Mary Cunningham - Executive Vice Chair
Ros Maxwell - Treasurer
Carol Shank- Secretary
Rob Roy - Newsletter Editor
rob.roy@sasktel.net
Louise Roy - Librarian
Barb Kachur - Special Projects
Gary Kachur - Webmaster
gkachur@shaw.ca
Members at Large:
Lisa Jopling
Darrell Novakovski
Bill Shank
Saskatoon TCF Webpage
http://tcfsaskatoon.shawwebspace.ca/
Gary Kachur - Webmaster
gkachur@shaw.ca
UPCOMING REGULAR MEETINGS & EVENTS
PLACE: Edwar ds Family Centr e, 333 - 4th Avenue North, Saskatoon, SK
TIME: 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.
DATE:
Sept 30, 2014 - Support Group Meeting
Oct 28, 2014 - Support Group Meeting
Nov 25, 2014 - Support Group Meeting
Dec 14, 2014 - Candle Lighting Program
Support Group Meeting co-facilitators
Mary Cunningham, Ros Maxwell, Carol Shank and Wendy Novakovski
"The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of hope. It
takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them express their
grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly bereaved get to see
people who have survived and are learning to live and love again."
by Reverend Simon Stephens, founder of The Compassionate Friends
Bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our support group meetings.
You will find a place of comfort, caring people, and most of all hope. Coming to the first meeting
may not be easy but you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. We urge you to give it a try.
For many it is the first real step toward healing. Although the first meeting may seem overwhelming and emotionally draining, we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable. Many are drawn back by the knowledge that they are
among those who “know how you feel.” We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved
families who want to help each other. You will find a network of caring and support which will
help you as you travel this journey of grief and assuredly, find hope along the way. We truly care
about you. Please join us as we heal together.
Founders
Reverend Simon Stephens England – 1969
Paula & Arnold Shamres USA – 1972
Joan & Bob Martin Canada – 1977
Mark Your Calendar
EMAIL BUDDIES
If you wish to talk to somebody by email
please feel free to contact us at:
gkachur@shaw.ca
We will arrange for all interested parties to
get in touch with each other.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
The Compassionate Friends 2014
Candle Lighting Program will be held on
Sunday December 14, 2014.
More details will be provided in the next
newsletter which will be in your mailbox
at the start of December.
Page 1
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Love Gifts
Love gifts are donations contributed to the Compassionate Friends in memory of a child who has died,
or a memorial to a friend or relative, or simply a gift from someone wanting to help. These gifts allow
us to continue to reach out to other bereaved families through our library, programs and newsletter. All
funds collected through love gifts are put towards the cost of printing and mailing newsletters, getting
supplies for meetings and purchasing reading materials for our lending library. Tax Receipts are issued
for any monetary donation.
Anyone wishing to contribute a love gift, please send to this address:
TCF c/o 1681 Edward Avenue, Saskatoon SK. S7K 3B7
Cheques should be made payable to ‘The Compassionate Friends’
Our sincere thanks to the following people for their generous support.
Dale and Melody Nieman in memory of their son Gregory
These donations will help The Compassionate Friends to be here for the families who do not
know today that they will need us tomorrow.
Ryan Daniel Kachur
1982 - 1999
Happy Birthday….We were blessed with a wonderful son and
brother. Ryan, you brought us much joy, laughter and good times.
You made us proud with your creativity, accomplishments and
attention to detail. You were kind, loving and a true friend to so
many and we treasure every moment we had with you. Your love of
nature and learning are incorporated in our lives every day.
Love you and miss you always
Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother-in-law and nieces
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 4
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
JOHN LEE MAXWELL
1975 - 1996
18 years of loving and deeply missing a wonderful son and brother.
'Til we meet again, John Boy.
Love Mom, Dad, Scott and Adam
Back to School: Suggestions for Helping Our Children
Children experience some of the same challenges their bereaved parents know all too well – difficulty concentrating,
memory lapses, and poor attention span. Grieving siblings may find these make learning more difficult. Here are
suggestions to consider to make the school year less daunting for your grieving child.
• Talk with his/her teachers. Teachers may not otherwise understand changes in our child’s grades or behavior. Sensitive
teachers will often have suggestions – ensuring homework assignments are written down, including due dates, for
example.
• Take your child’s lead, especially with older children, on whether to communicate details of their sibling’s death with
teachers and other parents or peers.
• Provide structure at home to help your child stay organized. Create a spot in the house for drop-off of lunch boxes and
book bags when coming home, and where items can be placed each evening so they aren’t forgotten in the morning
rush out the door.
• Consider posting a family calendar with school dates, as well as doctor appointments, parent-teacher conferences, etc.
We all need extra reminders.
• Ensure there is after-school time for your child to relax and be free of the demands of keeping on a good face. Grief
requires a lot of energy, and everyone needs time to take a break, including your child.
by Pat Pruss. TCF/Southern Maryland. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 3.
The Purpose of a Life
I believe every life has a purpose, however short-lived. I believe every heart that beats touches someone. Even if the
mother is the only one. The mother who carries the tiny heart is aware of this little life, this tiny heart with its little
heartbeat. Now she is a mother for the rest of her life. If this little one dies prematurely, this little one will still impact her life in ways she may not realize. She has become a different person because of this little body that grew
within her. When she gives birth, the nurse, doctor or tech that tends to her, each and every person who comes in
contact with the little life will also be touched. Each person is impacted by that little heart and that little life,
short-lived, but meaningful. If the baby lives for hours, days, or weeks, each person that comes into contact with the
baby becomes involved with this life. This tiny person has made an impact. The person may not realize how they
are being affected by the tiny person who they have seen and touched, but this tiny heart has left an impression. This
tiny heart has left a ripple in a pond that will continue on forever.
by Jenn W. (April’s Mommy). M.I.S.S. Foundation Newsletter. May/June 2009. reprinted from TCF/Winnipeg Chapter. July/Aug 2011. p 19.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 5
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Coping with October
The coming of autumn with the beautiful colors of the leaves and their falling will bring different emotions
to different families. Maybe your family had a tradition of driving through particularly scenic areas. Maybe the
child you lost was the one who raked the leaves. Perhaps all of this will simply be a reminder that winter and a barren landscape are coming.
Halloween is a favorite holiday for most children, but it can be hard for bereaved parents. This formerly
innocent holiday, the yards decorated as graveyards with markers and ghosts and skeletons, the stores of unhappy
spirits that must walk the earth, all have a completely different impact on us now.
Many of us have opened the door to give out treats and been faced with a costume so similar to one our
child wore for a Halloween past that either we really want to pull aside the mask to see the face behind or we want
to dream that this was one last visit from our precious child.
Some parents have surviving children who still want to join in the fun – and, oh, how hard it is to “trick or
treat” when you feel the victim of the ultimate “trick”.
Stop and think – What can you do differently? For autumn and its beauties and chores, what routines can
you change? Hire someone or ask a friend who has been offering to help and asking for specific tasks. Maybe you
could do it together. For Halloween, take surviving children to a carnival (many schools and churches sponsor
these). Or, if a carnival was an every year event, go to the zoo or go door-to-door this year. If you don’t have surviving children wanting to celebrate, maybe you can leave your house dark and go to a movie and skip the holiday.
In any event, planning ahead will help you get through a difficult time.
by Tracy Stackhouse. BP/USA. Central Arkansas. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1.
We Made It Through the Summer
We made it through the summer; another season has passed. When I look back now,
I did not think I had the courage to reach this point in time.
The worst may not yet be over, But things seem better than yesterday.
I’ve realized it’s all right to wish for you daily… and nightly… it’s my prerogative as your parent.
I do not have to look forward to the seasons coming soon,
but I will… because I know it’s what you would want me to do.
Just please know, I still love you as though you were in our home. That love will never die.
by Pam Duke. TCF/Dallas, TX. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was always an easy holiday. Unlike Christmas there wasn’t any pressure of giving just the
right gift. Thanksgiving was a day of family gatherings and good food. Late that afternoon, we would return
home full from over eating and satisfied that our family relationships were intact. It is also a day that we are
reminded of all that we have to be thankful for.
We are supposed to be thankful for our health, our families, our comfortable life, etc.
The death of a child changes our perceptions. When the family gathers around the Thanksgiving dinner table,
I now see a missing plate that no one else sees. (Of course, when I say no one, I exclude my wife and daughter) I am sure they see, hear and wish what I do. When nieces and nephews are laughing or crying, I hear a
voice that no one else hears. When a family member recounts a story about something his child did last week,
I wish I had a story to tell.
We still have much to be thankful for, and we should remember that. But, now Thanksgiving Day has an
additional observance for us who are bereaved. We must forgive others who cannot acknowledge the missing
child, for whatever reasons. If family and friends cannot understand us, then we must try to understand them,
especially on holidays. If we can exhibit tolerance, forgiveness and understanding on a day which we offer
thanks, we can climb another step on our ladder to recovery. Hope you have a forgiving Thanksgiving.
by Jim Hobbs. North Texas BP/USA. From “Where Are All the Butterfiles.” reprinted from TCF/Rim Country Chapter. Nov. 2012 .p 4.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 6
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Going Back, Going Forward
by Mitch Carmody
As a national writer and speaker on grief, I am mostly recognized for the death of my nine-year-old son, Kelly
James Carmody, who died of a malignant brain tumor in 1987. That event changed my life forever, but many may not
know of other familial losses I have incurred that were also instrumental in forming my life. Like the corner pieces of a
puzzle, our losses define the foundation of our life portraits; they create our today.
I have now realized in a recent epiphany that for all the years I knew my mother, she was a bereaved parent. I
have lived with a bereaved mom my whole life. Things now seem more transparent, and I understand her better than I
ever have before. I also am a bereaved parent now; I get it. I now look at my life and put all our family losses together
and realize how much my mom lost. She had buried a young husband, her only sibling, three of her children, and three
grandchildren, the first child having died before I was even born.
Five years before I came along, my mother gave birth to her fifth child John, who was healthy and full-term,
but the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, strangling him at birth. John’s life was buried with his body and
was never mentioned again; an unfortunate incident. You move on; you get over it; you can have other children. She
did, giving birth in 1955 to two more children, a boy and girl set of twins; me and my sister Sandy.
In 1969, my father died at age 49. A year later my mother’s only sister died, and in 1978 my older brother
David died in a state mental institution. My mother continued to put each death behind her and move on with minimal
tears and emotion. Dead is dead; you buck up, get over it, and get on with your life.
In 1984 my twin sister, Sandy, was killed at age 29 with her two young sons in an auto accident. She had a set
of 18-month-old boy/girl twins at home when she died. My mother reacted the same way; “What is done is done, son;
we have to put it behind us.” I struggled to bury my grief away, and then less than two years later my son was
diagnosed with cancer. I had to fight that fight to save my son, and put my sibling grief on hold for a long, long time. I
was getting good at it.
We were the twins, a curiosity and oddity being boy/girl twins, and some questionably intelligent people would
seriously ask if we were identical. We were “the twins.” Of course we did not dress alike and we each had our own
friends, but we were special unto ourselves. We also shared our friends and had big parties together with quite a mix of
everyone. I was a straight-A student, and she was not. She got pregnant young and never graduated. I went to college.
She was Goofus; I was Gallant (an old cartoon found in a kid’s magazine at the dentist’s office). She was a fundamentalist Christian, and I am a New-Age seeker of enlightenment. As kids, Mom would make Sandy a devil’s food
chocolate cake; I would get the white angel food cake. We were so different in so many ways, but we were so much in
touch in the wordless way that only twins would understand.
I still feel the void of her physical presence in my life big-time and always will. I still miss her so much, but I
have felt a connection with her on a spirit level through the years in signs and dreams, and I know she is around always;
even her children—now adults— feel her presence, someone they cannot even remember in life.
Grieving my son was the hardest challenge I have ever faced. His death was the straw that broke the camel’s
back; I felt totaled, beaten, and apathetic. I wallowed in a wasteland of broken dreams and non-ending despair that
lasted for almost ten years. I grieved like I was taught and put it behind me, until one day I walked by a photo of my son
and I dropped to my knees in newfound agony, screaming loudly to the heavens, “I cannot live like this. I cannot
pretend this did not happen!” I embraced the deaths of my son, my father, my brothers, my sister and her boys; I sucked
it all in like a newborn taking its first breath. I started living and feeling my losses, grieving, mourning, and lamenting
to all who would listen.
I was finally grieving fully for the first time in my life, and for the first time in ten years I saw beauty in the
sunrise again. I got my life back, and I did not have to let go to do so. I only had to simply embrace it, not erase it. It is
never too late to process your loss. I could not fully work through the enormity of the death of my son before I
processed all my other losses in a proactive way. So many times the losses experienced by young children are marginalized. Whether they lose a parent or a sibling, they are expected to get over it quickly and encouraged to be strong. We
learn at a young age to hide our feelings, and it may take years before we process the total assault to our psyches.
If you are a sibling who has experienced the death of a brother or sister at any age, recognize it, take it out of
the closet, and talk about it with pride rather than shame or embarrassment. Also remember that your parents are
changed forever and may still be falling apart inside; forgive them their shortcomings, for they are bereaved parents.
Bring your sibling back to the dinner table; keep them in your life and in the conversation with your parents and your
friends. Dead is not gone, and we do not have to let go; we do not get over loss, we learn to live with it, it is part of us.
Knowing that, not only can we survive, we can thrive.
Mitch Carmody is the author of Letters to My Son: A Journey Through Grief and the newly released 2nd edition, Turning Loss to Legacy. Mitch is
currently a staff writer with Living with Loss magazine and has published many articles for a variety of national grief periodicals, newsletters,
and Internet sites as well as appearing in many radio and television interviews. He is an accomplished artist and creator of the innovative. “20
Faces of Grief,” as well as his groundbreaking S.T.A.I.R.S model of grief staging. Mitch is well-known for his enduring workshop, “Whispers of
Love, Signs from Our Children,” which has been a favorite conference presentation for over five years. He also performs interpretive sign language to many songs that he calls “Songs of Sorrow,” and weaves them throughout most of his presentations as well as a workshop titled by the
same name. Reprinted from TCF/Kamloops Chapter. Spring 2013. pp 16-17.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 7
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Can I Pretend
If I were to pretend that you never did exist,
that I never felt you kick,
that I never heard your heartbeat,
that I never saw your image on an ultrasound screen...
Would this empty aching feeling depart from my soul?
Or am I destined to spend the remainder of days
searching for little boys
that are the age you should be right now,
first months, then years or twenty three.
It truly doesn't matter, for you are not here with me.
I will savor the moments
when I did feel you kick,
when I did hear your heartbeat,
when I saw your image moving on an ultrasound screen...
and know this empty aching feeling
will become a part of me.
Just as your gentle spirit, lives on inside my soul.
I must learn to live with peacefully,
this is our destiny.
No,
I could never pretend that you never did exist...
for you have shaped my very being,
and I will always be your Mama...
for the bond will not be broken,
not by pain, not tears shed, nor sorrow.
Our time will come...tomorrow.
I know I can't pretend
to break a bond as strong as this.
My son, my son ~
although you only dwelled within
and I had to say good-bye before I ever said hello...
If this be your destiny
that from earth you were truly meant to go...
by Tammy Tobac. TCF/Pittsburgh PA. in memory of Tanner Jason Tobac born into the arms of Jesus 9/30/99. reprinted from TCF/Winnipeg
Chapter. July/August 2011. p 19.
Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid
to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.
by Brigitte Nicole. reprinted from TCF E-Newsletter. August 2014.
Sometimes you can’t see the pain someone feels.
by Lisa French. reprinted from TCF E-Newsletter. April 2014.
Yours was no ordinary life, but a life
well lived and well loved and your
memory offers comfort, with the
enduring love we keep alive in our
hearts. We remember the happiest
moments filled with joy and find
solace in the many ways you have
touched so many lives. In every heart
you touched, in every life you
changed, in every thought you
inspired, your love lives on. Your
voice still echoes, your life still inspires, your light still shines. . . . and
always will. I am blessed to have been
a part of your life.
Chris Roy
1984 - 2005
by Patsy Gaul
Loved you yesterday,
Love you still,
Always have, Always will.
Mom and Dad
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 8
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Grandparents Remembrance
We are the grieving grandparents, the shepherds of our children and grandchildren’s lives. Our grief is two-fold and
at times we feel powerless to help. We seek to comfort our children in the depths of their grief and yet we need the
time and space to face our own broken hearts. We have been robbed of the special tender touch a grandparent shares
with a grandchild, and we have lost a symbol of our immortality. As we walk by our child’s side, we both give and
draw strength. We reach into their hearts to comfort them, and when they reach out to us in their distress, we begin
the journey to heal together. We continue to be their guardians. We allow traditions to change to accommodate their
loss. We support the new ones, which symbolize the small steps on their journey. It is in their healing that our hearts
find comfort.
by Susan Mackey TCF/Rutland VT. Shared by MaryAnn Dobbins. In loving memory of granddaughter
Colleen Josephine Dobbins. reprinted from TCF/Rochester New York. May/June 2014. p 4.
Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of
the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of
who you are and build again.
by Rachel Naomi Remen. reprinted from TCF E-newsletter. August 2014.
Connections
In the past two decades, modern technology has made great advancements toward keeping in touch with our friends,
family & co-workers. An email address, a cell phone, facebook page; these are just a few of the ways we can connect
with those we love and care about. And we love keeping those connections going in many other ways; meeting
friends for dinner, shopping, traveling, going to a movie with friends, holiday celebrations with family. There are
countless opportunities and ways for us to keep those we love in our lives. Even if we can’t see each other, we’ve got
skype, pictures on facebook, texts on a cell phone, and photo websites. And no one thinks anything unusual about all
these varied and unique ways of keeping connected with each other. Quite the contrary, consider the rising popularity
of facebook, not just for friends, but for businesses and non-profit organizations.
So if keeping connected is so popular and widely accepted, why are bereaved parents who need connections with
their departed child, treated as unusual and told to “get over it”? It’s just as important for us to have a memorial website, wear our child’s clothes, have his/her photos displayed, listen to our child’s favorite music, read books about
grief and bereavement, and yes, even continue to attend “those” support group meetings years later.
September 2010 marks 13 years since James left us. We still miss him each and every day and not one day has gone
by that he hasn’t been thought about and remembered. We will never “get over it” – no bereaved parent ever will, but
we do “get through it”. I have James’ denim shirt that I love to wear when we go camping, his soccer team shirt
hangs in my closet (I’ve actually worn it a couple times), and I sometimes listen to sad songs that bring me to tears,
and I’m still involved with Compassionate Friends. His pictures are evident in our home and on my desk at work. I
love to talk about James and value the times when friends ask questions about James. I don’t have the opportunity to
create new memories with James, there won’t be any grandchildren to cherish, and I can’t buy him birthday or Christmas gifts anymore. But the connections I do have to James, whether it’s watching a sunset, seeing a butterfly or dolphin, watching a soccer game, making his favorite tuna casserole, or wearing his shirt, are very valuable and precious
to me. I crave those connections because that is what’s left as a tangible way to keep James not just on my mind & in
my heart, but right here beside me.
As bereaved parents, don’t rob yourself of whatever connections you have with your child in spite of other wellmeaning friends/family/co-workers who tell you what you “should” do or how you “should” feel. We are moving on,
we are carrying on with our lives, and yes, even though it’s sad to talk about our child, listen to his favorite songs,
cook his favorite dishes, its all a part of who we are and where our life is right now. Our past with our child blends
into the today that we have right here, at this moment. Our child has taught us that life is precious and often too short,
and we have to make the most of each and every day. Each day includes ways we stay connected with our child and
ways that we move forward to rediscover and reinvest in life, not just in memory of our child, but for our own healing
process as well. Hopefully Compassionate Friends meetings are a part of your connection to your child. We all love
talking about our kids, sharing our pictures and favorite stories.
May you have hope and healing, may your memories help you to smile, may the light of your child’s life glow and
brighten your world with love. And always…..stay connected with your child in whatever ways bring you comfort
and blessings.
by Meg Avery. In memory of my son, James Avery, reprinted from TCF/Lawrenceville. Autumn 2010. p 5.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 9
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Dear Brian
Did you get the balloon I sent you today?
Did you snatch it right out of the sky?
The weather was good, the wind was just right
I've never seen balloons go so high....
I could feel you tugging at your balloon
before they said to let them go.
When the time came, I released the string
with the note that said "I love you so"
I chose a purple balloon for you
for I knew that's what you'd like
As tears fell softly on my face
I cried as the balloons took flight....
I pray that you got my message today
attached to the purple balloon
I love you always, forever....
and hope to see you soon.
Joyce P. TCF, Fredricksburg Chapter, VT.
Reprinted from TCF/St. Paul Minnesota
Chapter. Aug/Sept/Oct 2010. p 5.
“May your holidays be
filled with reasons to be
thankful. Having loved
and having been loved is
perhaps the most
wondrous gift of all.”
by Darcie Sims. Ph.D.
reprinted from TCF/Greater
Providence Area Chapter.
Winter 2013. p 8.
"Remember, grief is not
something that you get
over, it is something that
you walk through. My
shoes are worn and my
feet hurt from this walk”
Anonymous. reprinted from
TCF/Potomac/Maryland Chapter. Dec 2008/Jan/2009. p 11.
I can only bite off chunks
of grief in bits and pieces.
How else would I manage to get out of bed?
by Desiré Aguirre. reprinted
from TCF/Northeast/Rockville
CT Chapter. March 2010. p 1.
TCF—Saskatoon Chapter Annual Family Picnic and Balloon Release was held
on June 22, 2014. We hope all who attended found the social gathering a time of
friendship and the balloon release a special moment where you felt closer to
your precious child/children.
Three Doors
The first door was the death. It slammed shut, was locked and sealed. It separated me from my loved one. It was a
heavy, cold steel door. I can never open it. It leaves me alone outside. The second door swings open and beckons
me to come inside. It leads to all my memories of our life together. At first, the door is wide open as I spend most of
my time back inside reliving every precious moment-the sad memories, the bad memories, and thank goodness, the
very special good memories. Gradually, I spend less time there, but often I return to the second door. Sometimes I
find myself spending a lot of time there. Sometimes I chuckle and leave appreciative and happy for the experiences
we shared. The second door welcoming me back in time. The more I heal, the more I walk away from the second
door and toward the third door. The third door is stiff. It is hard to open. It opens slowly. It is scary inside when I
first open it, but each time I try to open this door, it becomes easier to open. Inside, I find rays of hope. Beyond are
many paths, many choices. As time passes, I feel more comfortable entering. Gradually, the third door opens wider
and I find myself able to explore all that is within. Soon the paths take me in many directions. The door opens up
my new life.
by Pat Dickerman. Hacienda Heights Ca. reproduced from Bereaved Parents of the USA Newsletter. Summer 2004.
Sometimes the light goes out, but is blown again into flame by an encounter by another human being.
Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.
by Albert Schweitzer. reprinted from Bereaved Parents of the USA. Summer 2005. p 1.
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 10
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Can it be Fall Again Already?
Here we go again, that downward spiral into Fall that
every bereaved parent dreads. For as sure as we turn the
calendar page to October, here comes Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving and then (oh, NO!) Christmas
and Hanukkah.
As I contemplate my fourth
fall without my
child, I can tell
that the pain
will be less
intense and
come less often. This does
not mean I love
her less. It just
means that no
one can grieve
as intensely as
in the beginning for very long. Your body couldn’t sustain it. Take
care of yourselves. Learn to be selfish if you need to be.
Tell those closest to you what you need in order to get
through this time. You will survive, whether you like it or
not. We’re here if you need us, your Compassionate
Friends.
by Kathy McCormick. TCF/Lower Bucks County PA. reprinted from
TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1.
Open to Hope: Finding Hope After Loss
The Open to Hope web radio program features grief experts, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley, who
discuss the many aspects of bereavement with a main
focus on the death of a child and its effects on the family. The Open to Hope website includes articles, archived
television and radio programs (and upcoming webcast
schedule) and list of recommended books. For more
information, visit http://www.opentohope.com/
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 11
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
Telephone Friends
One very good way to help ourselves is to talk about the loss, the hurt and the memories. If you are having a
hard day, need reassurance or would like to share a precious memory, please call a telephone friend whose
telephone number is listed below. They all know how it feels. They understand and care.
Laura Ratzlaff 306-374-5880. Saskatoon SK. Daughter. Julia. 13. Reyes Syndrome
Penny King 306-721-9117. penny.king62@gmail.com Grand Coulee SK. Daughter. Kaitlyn. Stillborn
Lorna Conquergood 306-653-8838. Saskatoon SK. Son. Scott. Cord Accident
Wendy Novakovski 306-931-0109. nova19@sasktel.net Martensville SK. Daughter. Kelly. 20 years. Sudden Death
Carol Shank 306-477-1136. crshank@shaw.ca Saskatoon SK. Daughter. Karen. 32 years. Car Accident
Donnelda Kavalench 306-320-1582. donneldak@hotmail.com North Battleford SK. Clancy. 29 years. Auto Accident
Robert Roy 306-955-6099. rob.roy@sasktel.net Saskatoon SK. Son. Chris. 21 years. Motor Vehicle Accident
TCF Saskatoon Lending Library
Newsletter Submissions
The Compassionate Friends, Saskatoon Chapter, has a
fairly large selection of books that may be helpful to you
or your family. If you have read something from our
library that has helped you, or have suggestions to add to
our library, please let us know.
Please return any library material you may have forgotten
to return.
If you have read a good book that you think may benefit
others, brief book reviews would be appreciated to add to
our newsletter. Please call or email the newsletter editor.
We welcome any submissions of photos, poems, or short
articles that you have written in memory of your precious
child/children. Photos are returned.
Please submit by mail to the newsletter editor at:
TCF c/o Robert Roy, 24 Clark Crescent
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, S7H 3L9
or submit by e-mail to the newsletter editor
Robert Roy at:
Email: rob.roy@sasktel.net Phone: 306-955-6099
Submission cut-off date for the Newsletter
If You Wish To Find Out More About Our
Meetings Please Call
Roslyn Maxwell 306-382-7599
Mary Cunningham 306-934-2479
Barb Kachur 306-374-8862
Our TCF Saskatoon Chapter Lending Library is available for your use.
If you have checked out a book,
please return it when you are
through so others may use it. We
have many new members in recent
months who may benefit from
reading them.
We gratefully acknowledge
the support of Bill and
Eleanor Edwards and the
Edwards Family Centre in
their continuing support of
TCF Saskatoon.
November 5, 2014 for Winter (Dec 2014-Jan-Feb 2015)
February 5, 2015 for Spring (Mar-April-May 2015)
May 5, 2015 for Summer (June-July-Aug 2015)
August 5, 2015 for Fall (Sept-Oct-Nov 2015)
Remember that this is your newsletter. Your written words
and photos in memory of your precious child/children are
given priority in the newsletter.
Receive your TCF newsletter by Mail or by Email
To keep our distribution list current, please email the
newsletter editor at rob.roy@sasktel.net if you wish to
stop receiving the newsletter.
You may also contact the newsletter editor at
rob.roy@sasktel.net if you would rather receive your
newsletter in colour by email in PDF format rather than by
mail.
The most current newsletter may be found on our webpage
and downloaded from there. Our newsletter by email and
on our website are in color.
The Saskatoon TCF Webpage address is:
http://tcfsaskatoon.shawwebspace.ca/
oooo
TCF Saskatoon Chapter
Page 12
Sept - Oct - Nov 2014