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ISSUE
315
www.pvmcitypaper.com
Issue 315
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November 2014
November - 2014
Need to Know
2
ISSUE
315
manners to present the check before it is
requested, so when you’re ready to leave,
ask «La cuenta, por favor» and your bill
will be delivered to you.
MONEY EXCHANGE: Although
you may have to wait in line for a few
minutes, remember that the banks will
give you a higher rate of exchange than
the exchange booths (caja de cambio).
Better yet, if you have a «bank card»,
withdraw funds from your account back
home. Try to avoid exchanging money at
your hotel. Traditionally, those offer the
worst rates.
I
f you’ve been meaning to find a little information on the region,
but never quite got around to it, we hope that the following will help.
Look at the map in this issue, you will note that PV (as the locals call
it) is on the west coast of Mexico, in the middle of the Bay of Banderas,
the largest bay in this country, that includes southern part of the state
of Nayarit to the north and the northern part of Jalisco to the south.
Thanks to its privileged location -sheltered by the Sierra Madre
mountains- the Bay is well protected against the hurricanes spawned
in the Pacific. Hurricane Kenna came close on October 25, 2002,
but actually touched down in San Blas, Nayarit, some 200 miles
north of PV. The town sits on the same parallel as the Hawaiian
Islands, thus the similarities in the climate of the two destinations.
AREA: 1,300 sq. kilometers
POPULATION: Approx. 325,000
inhabitants
CLIMATE: Tropical, humid, with
an average of 300 sunny days per year.
The temperature averages 28oC (82oF)
and the rainy season extends from late
June to early October.
allowed under certain circumstances
but fishing of any kind is prohibited.
Every year, the Bay receives the visit
of the humpback whales, dolphins and
manta rays in the winter. During the
summer, sea turtles, a protected species,
arrive to its shores to lay their eggs.
FAUNA: Nearby Sierra Vallejo
hosts a great variety of animal species
such as iguana, guacamaya, deer,
raccoon, etc.
ECONOMY: Local economy is
based mainly on tourism, construction
and to a lesser degree, on agriculture,
mainly tropical fruit such as mango,
papaya,
watermelon,
pineapple,
guanabana, cantaloupe and bananas.
SANCTUARIES:
Bahía
de
Banderas encloses two Marine
National Parks - Los Arcos and the
Marieta Islands - where diving is
CURRENCY: The Mexican Peso is
the legal currency in Mexico although
Canadian and American dollars are
widely accepted.
Index
BUSES: A system of urban buses
with different routes. Current fare is
$7.50 Pesos per ticket and passengers
must purchase a new ticket every time
they board another bus. There are no
“transfers”.
TAXIS: There are set rates within
defined zones of the town. Do not enter
a taxi without agreeing on the price with
the driver FIRST. If you are staying in a
hotel, you may want to check the rates
usually posted in the lobby. Also, if you
know which restaurant you want to go,
do not let the driver change your mind.
Many restaurateurs pay commissions to
taxi drivers and you may end up paying
more than you should, in a secondrate establishment! There are 2 kinds
of taxi cabs: those at the airport and
the maritime port are usually vans that
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
can only be boarded there. They have
pre-fixed rates per passenger. City cabs
are yellow cars that charge by the ride,
not by passenger. When you ask to go
downtown, many drivers let you off at
the beginning of the area, near Hidalgo
Park. However, your fare covers the
ENTIRE central area, so why walk 10 to
15 blocks to the main plaza, the Church
or the flea market? Pick up a free map,
and insist on your full value from the
driver! Note the number of your taxi in
case of any problem, or if you forget
something in the cab. Then your hotel or
travel rep can help you check it out or
lodge a complaint.
TIME ZONE: The entire State of
Jalisco is on Central Time, as is the
area of the State of Nayarit from Lo
de Marcos in the north to the Ameca
River, i.e.: Nuevo Vallarta, Bucerías,
La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Sayulita, San
Pancho, Punta Mita, etc. North of Lo
De Marcos, Guayabitos, La Peñita,
San Blas, etc. are on Mountain Time,
i.e.: one hour behind PV time.
TELEPHONE CALLS: Always
check on the cost of long distance
calls from your hotel room. Some
establishments charge as much as U.S.
$7.00 per minute!
CELL PHONES: Most cellular
phones from the U.S. and Canada may
be programmed for local use, through
Telcel and IUSAcell, the local carriers.
To dial cell to cell, use the prefix 322,
then the seven digit number of the
person you’re calling. Omit the prefix if
dialling a land line.
LOCAL CUSTOMS: Tipping is
usually 10%-15% of the bill at restaurants
and bars. Tip bellboys, taxis, waiters,
maids, etc. depending on the service.
Some businesses and offices close from
2 p.m. to 4 p.m., reopening until 7 p.m. or
later. In restaurants, it is considered poor
November - 2014
WHAT TO DO: Even if your allinclusive hotel is everything you ever
dreamed of, you should experience at
least a little of all that Vallarta has to
offer - it is truly a condensed version of
all that is Mexican and existed before
«Planned Tourist Resorts», such as
Cancun, Los Cabos and Ixtapa, were
developed. Millions have been spent to
ensure that the original “small town”
flavor is maintained downtown, in the
Old Town and on the South Side.
DRINKING WATER: The false
belief that a Mexican vacation must
inevitably lead to an encounter with
Moctezuma’s revenge is just that:
false. For the 21st year in a row, Puerto
Vallarta’s water has been awarded
a certification of purity for human
consumption. It is one of only two
cities in Mexico that can boast of such
accomplishment. True, the quality of
the water tested at the purification plant
varies greatly from what comes out of
the tap at the other end. So do be careful.
On the other hand, most large hotels
have their own purification equipment
and most restaurants use purified water.
If you want to be doubly sure, you can
pick up purified bottled water just about
anywhere.
EXPORTING PETS: Canadian and
American tourists often fall in love with
one of the many stray dogs and cats in
Vallarta. Many would like to bring it
back with them, but believe that the laws
do not allow them to do so. Wrong. If
you would like to bring a cat or a dog
back home, call the local animal shelter
for more info: 293-3690.
LOCAL SIGHTSEEING: A good
beginning would be to take one of the City
Tours offered by the local tour agencies.
Before boarding, make sure you have a
map and take note of the places you want
to return to. Then venture off the beaten
path. Explore a little. Go farther than the
tour bus takes you. And don’t worry this is a safe place.
ISSUE
315
Editorial
So much going on, so little time …and not enough space!
Firstly, I want you to know that I am truly pleased about and grateful for all the
lovely, complimentary comments we’ve received regarding our first two printed
issues of the season.
I won’t take up much space, but there is something I’d like to express here and
now: my warmest welcome to our new and returning contributors.
Returning: Gil Gevins – his is the most widely read page in this publication
and all his followers are very glad to be able to read his irreverent humorous
columns once again. Crossword and Sudoku addicts are happy too now.
A special welcome is extended to our two “newbies”, Todd Ringness and Tim
Wilson, who will each be offering a new weekly column to this publication,
very different from one another – yet all in keeping with the Mirror’s mission
of offering “all the [local] news that’s fit to print” while mirroring life in Puerto
Vallarta as accurately as possible, both the good and the not-so-great.
We’ve tried to cram as much as possible in this issue, so please do go through
it carefully in order not to miss the announcement of an event you’d really like
to attend.
I wish you a healthy, fun-filled week and if you’re not down here yet…
C’MON DOWN!
Allyna Vineberg
Editor / Publisher
Your Comments
avineberg@yahoo.com
Dear Editor,
It is always wonderful to see your fantastic
publication in print. It is good to see all your
new associates painting the beautiful picture
of our beloved Puerto Vallarta.
Let me point out however that on Thursday
night in probably the most beautiful venue in
Puerto Vallarta, we have a market where you
can find arts, crafts, foodstuffs, music and
more all along our beautiful Marina Malecon
with the sound of the sailboats halyards, the
live music and the restaurants the surround
our beautiful Marina.
There is new additional parking off the
main avenue for the vendors and for those
who come the marina. So please make a point
to come to the marina on Thursday afternoons
and enjoy the sights and sounds. Please come
support the local vendors.
Joel Hart
Dear Mr. Hart,
The Thursday market at Marina Vallarta is
listed along with all the other markets around
the bay, but I thank you for the info regarding
the additional parking. That alone should
help bring in even more visitors. We love the
Thursday market there!
The Ed
Continued on Next Page
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
Sound Off
3
4
Sound Off
ISSUE
315
Dear Editor,
Glad to be back for our 18th season in Vallarta. Still waiting for the cooler
weather but so glad that our print copies of the Mirror are back! We always
check the letters section first since that reflects what is new & exciting in the
area. We have received many tips regarding new restaurants and activities!
We want to return the favor by letting everyone know about a new restaurant
that opened last month in Old Town: Frankie’s Spaghetti House at 276 V.
Carranza. This is true Italian dining with recipes from Frankie.
The menu is mainly pastas, sandwiches, salads and pizza. Last night
we ate there for the third time and he had a special of chicken Parmesan
which was excellent. We have longed for thin crust pizza and Frankie
has the best. His food and drinks are reasonable and the service friendly
with Frankie there to answer any questions you might have. Give
Frankie’s a try but be prepared to leave full and with a doggie bag!
Looking forward to a great season in Vallarta!
Mary & David Casanover
Dear Editor,
I would caution anyone not to purchase anything from Tienda de
Muebles at Av Fco. Medina Ascensio 2556, across from Peninsula
Plaza. I purchased a wooden base for a large earthen pot from them a
couple of years ago. It was not level, but I was told it would be evened
up when they delivered it. It wasn’t level when they delivered it. There
was no way I could use it, so I returned it to them. They would only take
it back as a consignment. I have gone back to their store numerous times
and it has not sold. This was a base for which paid 4000 pesos.
I believe they are disreputable and unprofessional in their dealings.
Allyna Vineberg
avineberg@yahoo.com
Contributors:
Anna Reisman
Joe Harrington
Harriet Murray
Krystal Frost
Giselle Belanger
Gil Gevins
Stan Gabruk
Ronnie Bravo
Tommy Clarkson
Luis Melgoza
Todd Ringness
Tim Wilson
Polly Vicars
Christina Larson
Pamela Thompson
Office & Sales: 223-1128
Graphic Designer:
Leo Robby R.R.
Webmaster:
PVMCITYPAPER.COM
Online Team
Cover Photo:
“International
Gourmet Festival”
Charles Snyder
Dear Editor,
What an amazing evening on November 2nd, 2014, Día de Muertos!
I have to return to last year 2013, when we arrived early especially for
the “Day of the Dead.” We had wanted a repeat of an amazing time, about
four years before, when the Malecon was a maze of shrines from one end to
the other. Families sharing the lives of a family member who had passed. I
have to say our hearts shone after many ‘Spanglish’ conversations.
Earlier that afternoon we had gone to a local cemetery , watched as
families cleaned and decorated their ancestors graves with offerings ‘to
keep the spirits alive.’ A different aspect , but we were excited to return to
experience the shrines along the Malecon again. Starting our walk at the
north end of the Malecon, by the historic Rosita Hotel. There was a small
parade of Catrinas. Young women, faces made up to look like skeletons,
dressed in all black outfits, large hats, carrying marigolds and accompanied
by Mariachi players. But not one shrine along the whole length of the
Malecon all the way to Los Arcos. Where were the past traditions?
Again, this year we are here for this special day, and joined the street
party around the municipal market, and that is where I came to understand
that the younger generation has taken the past traditions and made them
in their own image. The day is still important, with many of the older
generation still having their own altars, including where we live, with a
shrine to past employees and owners. But with the exuberance of youth,
Día de Muertos took on a new and different meaning, and I feel fortunate
to have been a part of this celebration, and the remembering of past spirits.
Barbara Warren
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
Publisher / Editor:
November - 2014
Dish photo by Ulf
Hendriksson, background
photo from archives.
PV Mirror es una publicación semanal.
Certificados de licitud de título y
contenido en tramite. Prohibida la
reproducción total o parcial de su
contenido, imágenes y/o fotografías sin
previa autorización por escrito del editor.
An important notice
The PVMIRROR wants your views and
comments. Please send them by e-mail to:
avineberg@yahoo.com
250 words max, full name, street or e-mail
address and/or tel. number for verification
purposes only. If you do not want your name
published, we will respect your wishes.
Letters & articles become the property of
the PVMIRROR and may be edited and/or
condensed for publication.
The articles in this publication are provided
for the purpose of entertainment and
information only. The PV Mirror City
Paper does not accept any responsibility or
liability for the content of the articles on
this site or reliance by any person on the
site’s contents. Any reliance placed on such
information is therefore strictly at such
person’s own risk.
Note:
To Advertisers & Contributors and those
with public interest announcements,
the deadline for publication is:
2:00 pm on Monday of the
week prior to publication.
ISSUE
315
Within PV
Hair Spray Night 3
G
et ready to be dazzled by imaginative hairstyle and outrageous fashions as “Tu Centro Comunitario” in
Puerto Vallarta, the SETAC Community Center, brings the amazing runway spectacular “Hair Spray Night 3” to
Mantamar Beach Club on November 8th.
The idea behind ‘Hair Spray Night’ originated from the L’Oreal Paris Corporation’s Coiffeurs Fights AIDS
initiative supported by UNESCO, which was presented as ‘Hairdressers Against AIDS’ in the Global Village at the
2008 XVII International AIDS Conference in Mexico City.
From that point on, SETAC’s desire to implement the initiative in Vallarta was always present, so they
decided to utilize the resources, initiative and creativity of SETAC, along with the commitment and
support of the most renowned stylists and socially responsible sponsors in Puerto Vallarta, to make
the event a reality.
It took a while to get the project off the ground, but that’s just what has happened for the
last two years. The first Hair Spray Night was held on September 29th, 2012, at Sky Mandala,
raising just over $58,000. pesos for the SETAC Center’s fight against AIDS. The second
annual event returned to Sky Mandala on October 4, 2013. This amazing runway spectacular
raised just over $40,000. pesos for the SETAC Center’s mission.
“It’s been a dream come true,” said SETAC Director, Paco Arjona. “This is something I
really wanted to do and the response from the people of Vallarta has been really great.”
This year’s event, scheduled to be held at Mantamar Beach Club on Saturday, November
th
8 , at 7 p.m., promises to be another fabulous night filled with fantasy, magic and glamour,
featuring a runway, fanciful hair creations, raffles and lots of surprises with the co-production of Stratos Media
advertising agency.
The fight against AIDS needs many voices, which is why we invite everyone to be a part of a great event in
recognition and appreciation of the Puerto Vallarta stylists who have agreed to be the spokespersons of SETAC’s
‘Hairdressers Against AIDS Vallarta’ campaign.
Don’t miss this amazing runway spectacular to benefit SETAC and their fight against HIV and AIDS in Puerto Vallarta. A donation of $250
pesos buys you a ticket, which includes complimentary hors-d’oeuvres and an hour-long open bar from 7 to 8 p.m. Tickets are also available at the
SETAC Community Center on the south side of Puerto Vallarta.
Note: Mantamar Beach Club is located at Malecon #169 and Los Muertos Beach on PV’s south side.
SETAC Community Center, located at 427 Constitucion, corner of Manuel Dieguez on the South side of PV, is to provide essential services to
the community, including physical and mental health treatment, referrals, and education in an atmosphere of safety, free from discrimination. For
more information, please contact Paco Arjona at 224-1974 or www.setac.com.mx
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
5
Within PV
6
F
ISSUE
315
Market days around the Bay
or those who missed our first publications, this is just a reminder that all
the markets around the bay are alive and well.
Every year, local vendors and businesses gather to sell their goods at those
markets, ranging from local grown organic fruit and vegetables, homemade
yogurt and cheeses, jams, local honey, soaps and lotions, fresh cut flowers,
jewelry, shoes and clothes, art creations, etc.
Different foods are always a big hit, as it’s fun to browse about while eating
a homemade pickle, probiotics, an empanada, slice of pizza, tamales, salads,
smoked meats or fish, cakes, breads, pastries, and just about everything inbetween. Most food vendors have a taste set out for you to sample.
Mondays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Bucerías Monday Market at the Art Walk Plaza
Thursdays, 6 p.m. Marina Thursday Night Market along the Malecon of Marina Vallarta.
Fridays, Sayulita Market near the entrance to the town on Revolución.
Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. – La Luna Market at Venustiano Carranza
in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town
Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. –
Puerto Vallarta’s Old Town Farmers’ Market at Lazaro Cardenas Park
Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. – Lo de Marcos Market
Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. –
Artisans’ Market in Nuevo Vallarta behind the OXXO by Villa Varadero
Sundays - La Cruz de Huanacaxtle Market
Great fun, tons of samples and treats
…and a great way to support the LOCAL economy.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November 19, 2014 – A date to save
By
Polly G. Vicars
M
ark
Wednesday,
November 19, 2014 for the
first Becas Breakfast at the
beautiful oceanfront bistro,
Vitea. This is a time to greet
old friends just back from
summer
vacation,
meet
newcomers who are just
discovering Puerto Vallarta,
help 400 young becados
(scholarship students) keep
receiving their scholarships
and enjoy a delicious breakfast
designed and prepared by the
famous owner/chefs Bernard
Güth and Ulf Henriksson.
There will be raffle prizes and
a silent auction of beautiful art
work and gifts from prominent
restaurants and businesses in
Puerto Vallarta who are always
generous to help keep our
students in school.
Becas
Vallarta,
A.C.
(America-Mexico Foundation,
Inc.) is a foundation dedicated
to raising money to provide
scholarships to public schools
for Puerto Vallarta’s young
people, 8th grade through
university. To qualify for a
scholarship students must
come from a Puerto Vallarta
family of small economic
resources, maintain a grade
point average of 8.5 and be
a good citizen in school and
at home. Once they earn a
scholarship we continue it as
long as they meet the criteria.
For junior high becados, we
provide vouchers to cover their
school uniform, their gym
clothes, their school and tennis
shoes. We also give them,
in one of our four meetings
with the young people, all
November - 2014
of their school supplies pencils, notebooks, math tools,
dictionary, calculator, etc.
For high school and
university becados we provide
a monetary stipend given
twice a year. Each high school
becado receives a total of 5500
pesos a school year. Each
university becado receives
a total of 7000 pesos. They
are at liberty to spend this
money on their most pressing
needs –whether if be bus
transportation, tuition, books
or in some cases food.
The November 19th breakfast
will begin at 9 a.m. The price
is the same as always, $150
pesos shared equally by Becas
and Vitea. Tickets must be
purchased in advance and you
may contact any member of
Becas or call or write Polly
Vicars at phvicars@gmail.com
or 223-1371 for your tickets.
Here are the upcoming
dates for Becas events. We
look forward to seeing our
Becas friends at all of these
outstanding venues.
Breakfasts:
November
19, 2014 – Vitea, December
17, 2014, LaPalapa , January
21, 2015 – Daiquiri Dick’s,
February 18, 2015– River Café
– March 7, 2015– Becas Ball,
April 15, 2015 Coco’s Kitchen.
House Hunters
International Event:
November 24, 2015 - Mantamar Beach Club on Los
Muertos Beach. Tickets 300
pesos in advance and 350 at
the door. Call Becas members
or Polly at the number above
for your tickets for this to be
fun filled event.
ISSUE
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Within PV
7
PV Realty attends international real estate symposium in Dubrovnik, Croatia
Silvia L. Elias, General Director/Broker for
Network affiliates will convene again February
9-13, 2015 in Las Vegas for the LeadingRE
Conference Week.
PV Realty is the Real Estate representative of
Leading Real Estate Companies of the World®
(www.LeadingRE.com), the largest network of
premier locally-branded firms producing over
one million annual home sale transactions.
Luxury Portfolio International® (www.
LuxuryPortfolio.com) is the luxury face of
Leading Real Estate Companies of the World®,
marketing over 25,000 luxury homes annually
to over three million high-net-worth visitors
through its comprehensive marketing program.
For more information on PV Realty, visit
www.pvre.com or call (322) 222 4288
PV Realty attended the International Symposium
hosted by Leading Real Estate Companies of the
World® and Luxury Portfolio International® in
Dubrovnik, Croatia from October 16-18.
The event attracted top real estate professionals
from 13 countries worldwide: Australia, Canada,
France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Mauritius,
Mexico, Romania, Spain, Switzerland, Turkey
and the United States.
Symposium participants addressed global real
estate issues and explored how real estate has
become an increasingly international business.
Speakers included esteemed Spanish political
economist Ramón Tamames, who spoke on
the impact of environmental changes on real
estate assets. Also featured were top real estate
professionals who shared insights on real estate
practices and trends in their local markets.
“The International Symposium has become
increasingly important to our membership as we
continue to expand our coverage worldwide,”
said Leading Real Estate Companies of the
World® President/CEO Pam O’Connor.
“By giving our brokerages the opportunity to
come together to discuss cross-border business
opportunities and pervasive market trends, we
strengthen our position as a global real estate
leader.”
“Wonderful experience and lots of new ideas to
implement” said Silvia L. Elias
In addition to past International Symposiums
held in Venice, Lisbon, Madrid, Rome, Valencia
and Dublin, the network recently held its first
Immersion Conference in Shanghai, China.
The South Side Shuffle is on!
The South Side Shuffle is about to start its 5
season!
Time sure does fly. The Shuffle started as a little idea to put Old Town
back on the map as a fabulous destination to come and experience in
Puerto Vallarta. Fabulous because it offers the most interesting variety
of galleries, restaurants and shops. Not only can you reward yourself
with a beautiful piece of jewelry, clothing (from sexy beach wear to
elegant resort attire), works of art in all mediums, sculptures, ceramics,
native crafts and spa worthy lotions and soaps, you can also take in a
fantastic dining experience at one of the many spectacular restaurants
on the street.
The Shuffle is one of the more popular events in Old Town, with
live music and beverages being served by the 19 different participating
businesses. The wide sidewalks are lined with bougainvillea draping
over the street, which comes alive with hundreds of visitors taking part
in what Basilio Badillo has to offer.
Please come by and see what all the excitement is about. You will
have a great time! Every second Friday from 6 to 10!
th
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
About PV Realty
Puerto Vallarta Real Estate ® also
commercially known as PV REALTY ® is one
of the city’s oldest and most prestigious firms.
The firm has successfully been operation since
1981 and is considered the Leading Luxury Real
Estate Brokerage in the Region. It is operated by
Silvia L. Elias who has established herself as the
most respected luxury broker in Puerto Vallarta.
8
Within PV
ISSUE
315
By
Tim Wilson
Puerto Vallarta leads Mexico
in attracting the gay traveler
Puerto
Vallarta is leading all Mexican
destinations in attracting the LGBT traveler.
Everything sought by the gay traveler is
here: Exciting nightlife with many well
established gay bars and businesses,
well developed art galleries, shopping
and cultural events like the South Side
Shuffle and the centro historico’s ArtWalk,
outstanding restaurants and culinary
events for every budget, and the fantastic
weather found at the Romantic Zone
gay beach, all combine to make Puerto
Vallarta a great year ‘round attraction
to the national and international gay
community.
However, not all destinations in Mexico
are seeing the benefit of the gay spending
power. This is in spite of the fact that the
gay market generates 166% more income than
the traditional market, and in 2013 the worldwide
gay buying power was estimated at $830 Billion
U.S. Dollars (Witeck Communications). Out
and Now Consulting, a company specializing
in the LGBT consumer, recently produced
research data indicating Mexico generated only
$4.7 Billion Dollars of LGBT tourism dollars
in 2014 while Brazil generated $25.3 Billion
and the US $56.5 Billion. The average daily
spend per person per trip (2.5 days) from the
LGBT market is $1600 USD compared to the
traditional tourist spend of $600 USD (almost
3 times more) according to Mexico Ministry of
Tourism studies. Currently, Puerto Vallarta and
Mexico City are the only Mexican destinations
with any infrastructure to attract the gay market
at all. One important factor is Puerto Vallarta’s
reputation for its friendliness and acceptance
of all people. The LGBT segment is just one of
several segments that Puerto Vallarta is seeking:
the retiree, honeymoon couples, singles, medical
tourists, and business travelers.
In order for a city to be successful in attracting
the LGBT market like US and Europe do, one
of the things a destination must have is LGBT
events (Gay Pride for example) and specific
marketing of them. Successful Pride events in
Madrid generate $50 Million Euros of economic
benefit and Sydney Australia’s gay pride
attracts 80,000 visitors annually. It will have a
tremendous impact on tourism in Puerto Vallarta
if we manage to do it correctly.
The gay traveler is loyal to properties that
market themselves gay or gay friendly. Here
are some results for PV gay hotels for 2014:
“Since December 2013, Casa Cupula, Puerto
Vallarta’s luxury gay hotel, has had record
occupancy every month, in fact the best in
12 years,” states Don Pickens, Principal of
Milagro Properties. “With improvements in the
economy and in airlift capacity to PV after the
bankruptcy of Mexicana Airlines, plus new PR
efforts by the city to reach the LGBT market,
we see improved LGBT tourism across the
board.” Casa Cupula recently launched a new
campaign called www.UnplugWithUs.com to
reinforce its sophisticated and savvy image,
and it’s also broken records for reservations
and website traffic. Paul Christ, owner of local
gay hotel Mercurio (www.hotel-mercurio.com)
and Denis Henry, administrator of condo hotel
Torre Malibu (www.boana.net) both report that
as of November 1, 2014, year-to-date occupancy
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
has already exceeded total annual occupancy
of 2012 and 2013. The months of August and
September 2014 were the highest August and
September in the last 5 years. Rivera Del Rio
(www.riveradelrio.com) -only open for 2 yearsmaintains a 75% annual occupancy. In October
2014, Oscar Moran repositioned boutique hotel
Villa Mercedes (www.villamercedes.com) from
a non gay hotel into a gay/straight friendly hotel
and reports higher occupancy now than before.
What is Puerto Vallarta doing to attract more
LGBT visitors to the city? Fortunately, the
Puerto Vallarta Tourism Board is marketing
specifically to the the LGBT traveler. Beginning
in 2011, PV’s Tourism Board became the first
Mexican destination to join the IGLTA. Since
then, they have sponsored events like the
GLAAD Awards to the Puerto Vallarta Day
at 2014 World Gay Pride in Toronto. People
may not be aware, but most core press trips
brought by the OCV include an LGBT media
representative.
Local Puerto Vallarta businesses are
promoting events thru ACT LGBT (www.
actlgbt.org) for the first time nationally
because Mexico City and Guadalajara have
large LGBT populations that visit our city.
Many businesses inside the Romantic Gay
Zone have been in major remodel projects,
from Almar resorts (www.Almarresort.
com) and its Mantamar beach club, to
luxury Villa Savana (www.villasavana.
com) offering same sex wedding celebrations.
The little fishing village of Puerto Vallarta has
been transformed into a new gay mecca for
international sophisticated gay travelers.
Puerto Vallarta, how far you have come!
Tim Wilson
Is owner and editor of GAYPV Magazine (www.GAYPV.mx)
in Puerto Vallarta. This magazine features news,
a complete list of gay and friendly businesses and events,
interesting stories, and around town photos of gay and
friendly businesses and people in Mexico. It is available
in print, online and the new app on Apple newsstand in
December 2014. Tim is an official member of NATJA where
he and GAYPV contributors provide content and press
releases about Puerto Vallarta as a “beyond Gay Friendly”
destination to international LGBT media outlets.
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Veterans and
Remembrance
Day 2014
A
lthough you are visiting
Mexico or even making it your
home, there are certain traditions
you don’t want to lose. For
many expats and members of
American Legion Veteran’s Day
is one of those traditions as is
Remembrance Day (also known
as Poppy Day or Armistice
Day) is a memorial day observed
in Commonwealth countries
since the end of World War I
to remember the members of
their armed forces who have
died in the line of duty. This
day, or alternative dates, is also
recognized as special days for
war remembrances in many
non-Commonwealth countries.
Remembrance Day is observed
on 11 November to recall the end
of hostilities of World War I on
that date in 1918.
To honor service members of the
U.S. and Canadian armed forces,
the American Legion is organizing
a Veterans’ / Remembrance
memorial on November 11th. The
event will take place at Steve’s
Sports Bar on Basilio Badillo in
Old Town at 10 a.m. There will
be a small parade as well as music
and time for remembrance. The
American Legion Post 14 has
been organizing this event for
two years now and turnout keeps
improving.
To find out more about American
Legion activities, please visit
w w w.americanlegion14.org
stop by the headquarters at
Steve’s Sports Bar to ask for
more information, or contact
dennis2rike@hotmail.com
Why November 11th?
Remembrance Day (also known
as Poppy Day or Armistice Day)
is a memorial day observed in
Commonwealth countries since the
end of World War I to remember the
members of their armed forces who
have died in the line of duty. This
day is also recognised as a special
day for war remembrances in many
non-Commonwealth
countries.
It is observed on November 11th
to recall the end of hostilities of
World War I on that date in 1918
“at the 11th hour of the 11th day
of the 11th month,” in accordance
with the Armistice, signed by
representatives of Germany and the
Entente between 5:12 and 5:20 that
morning. (“At the 11th hour” refers
to the passing of the 11th hour, or
11:00 a.m.) World War I officially
ended with the signing of the Treaty
of Versailles on June 28th, 1919.
The initial or very first Armistice
Day was held at Buckingham
Palace commencing with King
George V hosting a “Banquet
in Honour of the President of
the French Republic” during the
evening hours of 10 November
1919. The first official Armistice
Day was subsequently held on the
grounds of Buckingham Palace
on the morning of November 11th,
1919. This would set the trend for
a day of Remembrance for decades
to come.
The red remembrance poppy
has become a familiar emblem of
Remembrance Day due to the poem
“In Flanders Fields”. These poppies
bloomed across some of the worst
battlefields of Flanders in World
War I, their brilliant red colour an
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
appropriate symbol for the blood
spilled in the war.
In the United States, Veterans’
Day is observed as both a federal
November - 2014
Beyond PV
9
holiday and a state holiday in all
states. Though November 11th
was formerly known as Armistice
Day, it was given its new name in
1954 at the end of the Korean War
to honour all veterans. Veterans’
Day is observed with memorial
ceremonies, salutes at military
cemeteries, and parades.
10
Beyond PV
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315
November 12 - El Día del Cartero
th
P
ostman’s Day in Mexico is a
day of recognition of the work done
by mail carriers, but it also recalls
the pre-Hispanic message carriers
of the Aztec people.
Strong fast message carriers
ran every 10 kilometers in a relay
system to get messages through
for nobles and kings.
Horses
were added to the system with the
arrival of the Spanish. Message
offices were established first in the
Yucatan in 1579 and then in Puebla,
Veracruz, Guerrero and Guanajuato.
Mailboxes were later established by
Maximilian and in 1910, Porfirio
Diaz built the post office or Palacio
Postal and expedited mail delivery
through the railroad.
Despite all the improvements
in the system over time, the ‘last
kilometer’ of delivery continues
to be undertaken by an army of
dedicated postmen on foot, cycle
and motorcycle.
El Dia del Cartero was
first established in Mexico on
November 12, 1931 and in 1947,
the post office printed its first
special stamp commemorating the
work and efforts of the nation’s
postal delivery men, labeling it
“Anonymous Hero”.
If you live in Mexico, it’s
traditional to give your local
postman a gift - usually a small
cash tip - on this day, or a day near
November 12 each year. This token
of appreciation is an important
cultural protocol as well as making
a contribution to the people who
serve your local community.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
From the organizers of the
20th International Gourmet Festival…
From November 13
to 23rd, we will once again transform
Puerto Vallarta and Riviera Nayarit into a Mecca for all
gourmet enthusiasts! It is not without
reason that our festival has gained
cult status throughout the world.
We will cause a delightful stir with
exceptional invited master chefs and
an unequaled multitude of events!
Twenty years of avant-garde and evolution of local gastronomy. The
first meeting between Thierry Blouet and Heinz Reize was in March,
1995. It led to the idea of promoting Puerto Vallarta’s vibrant and excellent
restaurants on the world stage. The 10-day festival was meant to highlight
Puerto Vallarta’s gastronomy on the local and international scene. It has
exceeded those goals.
The original format has remained unchanged: each host restaurant
collaborates with a guest chef, but the number of selected participants has
grown to over 30 in the last few years, with noted international chefs lining
up for an invitation to participate. Consider their benefits: cooking in some
of the world’s best restaurants, in a tropical paradise, for an enthusiastic
and educated clientele!
The incorporation in 2000 of Chef Roland Menetrey as an associate,
and the extension of the event to the Riviera Nayarit and Tepic, allowed
the festival to boost fine dining even more intensely. Today the festival
is billed as the best gastronomic event in the country and also one of the
most important on the continent. To the extent that the Gourmet Festival
has gained in maturity, featuring several of the most renowned chefs in the
world, the festival also introduced several of the most promising stars of
the national cuisine.
The festival’s reputation has allowed us to extend the impeccable
credentials of the restaurants in Puerto Vallarta, the Riviera Nayarit and
Tepic. But most important of all, it has provided an opportunity to honor
you with the best gourmet experiences the world has to offer.
For the complete list of events, participating restaurants, special events,
guest chefs, menus, etc., please visit www.festivalgourmet.com
th
November - 2014
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315
Dine OUT Tuesday, November 11th
to support Puerto Vallarta Men’s Chorus
W
ow! One of the easiest fundraisers in all of Vallarta to support! Just
invite some friends and go out to breakfast, lunch or dinner on Tuesday,
November 11th at one of the fine restaurants participating in the Dine
OUT. The more people the better because the restaurants will contribute
a percentage of their income – a percentage of your bill - for that one day
to help fund the chorus.
Why support Puerto Vallarta Men’s Chorus (PVMC)? Aside from the
cultural benefits to PV, a gay men’s chorus helps create a positive bond
within the community and helps conquer discrimination. Wight’s story is
a wonderful example.
Wight is a retired doctor. Despite
financial success, all his life he has
felt like an outsider - through high
school, medical school and on into his
retirement. He tried 3 times to end his
life, serious attempts, but was found
by friends each time. Then his pastor
suggested he volunteer at the local gay
chorus and Wight found a family, acceptance, and a reason to live. Now
you can find him licking envelopes in the chorus office, buying food for
rehearsals, taking tickets at concerts, donating money - no task too small,
no chorus request too large. Within 10 minutes of meeting him, he will
tell you, “The chorus saved my life.”
Although PVMC is only a couple of years old, we too have members
who were isolated, even here in Puerto Vallarta! Many local gay people,
both Mexican and gringo, continue to be afraid to share who they are
with family, friends, employers or clients. Gay choruses help break down
those barriers as people attend concerts and begin to recognize - we are
all the same. Choruses create bonds within the organization and between
family and community members. Choruses are doing this all over the US,
Canada, Europe, and now, for the first time in Mexico!
So whether you are a tourist or a local, whether you are dining with
your partner or several friends, choose one of the restaurants below and
choose Tuesday, November 11th to Dine OUT and support Puerto Vallarta
Men’s Chorus!
Participating restaurants and bars are: Vitea – Breakfast, El Mole de
Jovita – Lunch or Dinner,
Embarcadero – Lunch or Dinner, No Way José! – Dinner, Bistro 156 –
Dinner, Trio – Dinner, Layla’s – Dinner, Salud Super Food – Breakfast,
Lunch or Dinner, Nacho Daddy’s – Lunch or Dinner, Archie’s Wok – Lunch
or Dinner, Hacienda San Angel – Dinner, Coco’s Kitchen – Dinner, Mister
Pulpo – Dinner, Garbo’s Piano Bar and La Margarita Latino Bar.
Please go to www.pvmenschorus.org for more information.
Other upcoming events:
Join us on November 15th at 7:30 p.m. in the Red Room at Act II Stages
as we introduce our new Artistic Director with a coming out extravaganza,
and preview our 2014 – 2015 concert season. Our winter concerts are on
December 4, 12 and 13 at the Main Stage at Act II Stages.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
Good Bites
11
Good Bites
By
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315
Krystal Frost
The merry-go-round of Farmers’ Markets
W
e always loved the traditional
public markets found in Latin
America, Europe, Asia... just about
everywhere. These markets are a
sure hook-up for local fare, regional
produce and colorful chatty artisans.
The first time we presented as
a vendor was in one of the oldest
markets found in Mexico City,
La Alameda. We offered Huichol
knick knacks ...we didn’t sell much,
however the experience was rich,
being part of the vendor community
in an ancient market.
La Alameda market dates back to
Tenochtitlán (the Aztec name for
Mexico City) in pre-Hispanic times,
it is still located in the historical
center of modern Mexico City… not
recommended for the faint of heart...
Every Sunday, the streets are
blocked around the center of the
market, multicoloured shades are
haphazardly draped over wooden or
metal, what have you… structures
in 4 lines stretching along the streets
where wares, goods, food, tools, art,
artefacts… a big ETC... are displayed
on wooden pallets, tables, pinned up,
folded up, wrapped up…
There are the silver-braided ladies
who spread out their garden produce
and eggs on blankets to offer to the
browsers.
The rules are: Long standing
vendors pass down the spaces as an
inheritance right and everyone seems
to know who they are... no bickering.
If a new vendor pops in, they are
quickly told where to go and where
to set up by the same neighboring
vendors… seniority has benefits.
Park where you can… don t
block the traffic.
The markets start when
you get there and end at 2
p.m. At 11 a.m., a market
authority visits each vendor
to collect a modest fee, I
think we paid 50 pesos. The
elders and silver-braided
groups are not charged. This
is what is known as FREE
TRADE.
In our area of Puerto
Vallarta, Farmers’ Markets are not
traditional, the locals preferring, if
anything, short regional fairs and
perhaps a display during fiestas patria
or plaza spaces allotted by the church
on special occasions, with proceeds
flowing back to the church.
The local farmers’ market concept
was presented by the northern ladies
and lovers of organization encouraged
by the formation of farmers’ markets
in the U.S. and Canada …a different
breed of cat from the Mexican
Wednesday market day in the plaza.
The first attempt at a farmers’
market was actually at a horse ranch
just east of Bucerías. It was fun,
pretty, a good idea, but did not last
long.
The second market (El Mercado
del Pueblo), which is still operating,
was put together by the energy of
3 excellent American women in
Sayulita. There have been a number
of location changes over the years,
and some community retro reaction,
but all in all, they offer a friendly and
entertaining atmosphere where the
locals can offer goods to locals and
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
tourists. This is a seasonal market
that is open each Friday morning
until early in the afternoon.
Then… the Saturday Market at the
Paradise Community Center started
up each Saturday morning. This was
a mixture of northerners and a few
anxious national vendors. It split up
after 2 years, with one group staying
at the Paradise Center, and the other
–the Old Town Farmers’ Marketgoing to a number of locations, which
now seems to be settled at the Lazaro
Cardenas Park by Olas Altas. This is
a super organized seasonal market,
with nearby parking.
The Paradise Community Center
Market, organized by Americans,
is the only market that runs all year
‘round. It has recently relocated
to the LUNA Restaurant space
on Venustiano Carranza. This is a
friendly bunch of full time residents
offering locally grown food, cheese,
clothes, jewelry, soaps, bakery and
baked goods, etc.
In my opinion, the best Sunday
Market is organized by nationals at La Cruz de Huanacaxtle. This
is a colorful blend of vendors from
most of the other markets, set in
shady areas around the Marina. You
can eat everything from tamales to
Italian sausage, organic salads and
bakery goods. There is an abundant
offering of food, jewellery, clothes,
and a large stretch of sandy beach,
bar service, and the makings of a fun
family day. This is well run with not
too many rules and regulations (one
of the mentioned markets has 17
pages of regulations...) We consider
November - 2014
this to be the best one in our area as
the organizers are friendly and not
over controlling and it draws people
from all the way from San Pancho
to Conchas Chinas with plenty of
parking.
A couple of things on my mind
about these markets: Why do the
organizers control what can be sold? I
agree that offers should be kept local,
and at least national products that
cannot be found in our area. Those of
you who know the farmers’ markets
in the north are familiar with the
amounts of varieties of the same type
of product… for example, one can
find 20 farmers selling whatever they
are harvesting, 20 cheese makers, 20
honey vendors, 20 cherry vendors
and it’s free trade for all. I think it is
healthy and more interesting to NOT
be limited TO one person selling
honey... one selling bread... one
selling yogurt... Variety is the spice
of life... right? And where is the line
drawn? There may be 3 bakers, but
why can only one sell chocolate cake?
I do agree that vendors should be
registered with a tax number. Many
of the vendors are seasonal residents
who are not registered with the right
to work and pay taxes as the local
residents who have the obligation to
report income, pay rent and services.
In any case, please drop in and
check out the local markets. They’re
better and much more fun then buying
from a super commercial outlet, and
you never know what you’ll find or
who you will run into.
Krystal Frost
Is a long time resident of Puerto Vallarta.
Graduate of University of Guadalajara,
and specialized in cosmetic acupuncture
at Bastyr University in Washington State.
She is the owner of Body & Sol for over
15 years where she practices traditional
Chinese medicine, acupuncture, massage
therapy, yoga, meditation and nutritional
counseling. She has created healing
programs for individuals, retreats and
spas. Questions and comments may be
directed to organic-select@hotmail.com
ISSUE
315
The 7 Arts
Celebrating nine great years at the Loft Galeria
T
his season marks The Loft Galeria’s ninth
year in Puerto Vallarta as well as, proudly, our
ninth year of membership in the Centro Historico
ArtWalk.
We are very grateful for the support of our friends
and clients and we are celebrating. Over the course
of the next several months, the gallery will be
continuing its tradition of exhibitions focusing on
various disciplines and will include new paintings
and drawings of gallery favorites. Beautiful new
realist paintings by Bill White as well as new works
of Carlos Cortes, Mario Cinquemani and Zenen
Vizcaino Ortiz, are in store for this season. For the
discerning collector, The Loft Galeria has proudly
shown from its outset works of truly important Latin
American artists such as Gunter Gerzo, Wifredo
Lam and Rodolfo Morales. Now we are excited to
add a lovely drawing by Francisco Zuñiga from an
important local collection. We also are excited to
feature our expanded selection of Jewelry! Anne
Marie Changon, La Vie and Aid Through Trade
continue to be gallery favorites.
Wosene Kosrof continues to be a gallery favorite
and he will be visiting us over the New Year. We
plan a small reception for him on Wednesday,
January 7, at 7 p.m., so please mark your calendars
to come by and say hello.
Visit us in person at 176-A Calle Corona (upstairs)
or call 222-6353.
Please stay tuned to our website at: www.
TheLoftGaleria.com and please like us on
Facebook at: The Loft Galeria
John C. Strawn
Director/Owner
The Loft Galeria
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
The 7 Arts
14
By
315
Joe Harrington
John Wick
Rotten
ISSUE
Tomatoes Meter gave
this an astonishing 92%. Why
astonishing? Because I am part of
the 8% who did not like this flick,
and was stunned when I looked up
the score.
John Wick is the name of the
character Keanu Reeves plays.
With the exception of the first eight
or so minutes, where this actor is
actually asked to act, he carries
a face that competes, as far as
emotion goes, with those carved
on the face of Mount Rushmore.
While watching I couldn’t help
wondering if I have ever seen a
movie with a body bag count as
high as this one. Die Hard II comes
to mind. And maybe the first act
of Saving Private Ryan. If you
like movies with non-stop action
involving people getting shot in the
chest, then the head as the coup de
grace, this is for you.
In screenwriting there’s a rule
of thumb that one page equals
approximately one minute of
screen time. Dialogue takes longer,
describing action much shorter. In
this movie’s case, whose running
time is one hour and 36 minutes,
that would mean a 96-page script.
But, because this thing is non-stop
mayhem for about 85 minutes, the
script might be only be 12 to 15
pages long.
There are murders in Macbeth
and every one of them necessary
to deliver on the plot. One of the
first violent scenes in Mr. Wick
involves 12 assassins entering
our hero’s home, an invasion on a
grand scale, whose sole intent is to
murder our hero. A few minutes
later a disposal company is called
to haul away 12 bodies. How were
they dispatched?
The method is in almost every
violent encounter that follows.
Reeves shoots 11 of the bad guys,
runs out of bullets, and has to go
man-to-man on the final guy, killing
him in a personal way. Imagine if
he had run out of bullets with two
assassins left? Both armed.
Try doing your black belt stuff
with two guys toting Uzis.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
Kick one and the other pumps
you full of lead. This movie’s sole
purpose is to deliver the maximum
in death and destruction.
What’s Reeves’ motive? His wife
died, from illness, not violence. Her
last gesture towards her husband is
to give him a dog. He runs into
the head honcho bad guy’s son, a
psycho. He wants Reeves’ car. It is
not for sale. Next up, playing with
his dog at home Reeves is caught
unawares. He gets the tar beat out
of him, his dog murdered, and his
car stolen. Hell hath no fury like
an ex-assassin who’s lost his pet
mongrel. And when hell comes,
it comes in a fury of impossible
violence.
Part of the sub-plot is the existence
of an association of assassins – like
a union – who have a safe house
where it is against the rules to act
violently. The association was
something Dan Aykroyd tried to
talk John Cusack into in Grosse
Point Blank, except that he couldn’t
pull it off and ends up wearing a
television set as a hair piece.
Back to Reeves. He checks
into this hotel that’s supposed to
be a safe harbor for the union of
assassins. Of course, a female
breaks the rules and tries to kill
him. Kind of illogical, but nowhere
near as illogical as when viewing
this thing from a few steps back.
November - 2014
There are a couple of things I
liked. One: there are some very
well done overhead shots, actually
spectacular. Two: Reeves does
dispatch his enemies exactly how
Eli Wallach tells an enemy to do in
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Eli is in a bathtub covered in soap
bubbles. The enemy enters and
starts to tell him why he is going to
kill him. Eli, who has a gun hidden
under the bubbles, shoots the guy
and say, “If you’re going to shoot,
shoot, don’t talk.”
Reeves doesn’t do much talking
in the movie. He does dispatch
enough people to keep a morgue
the size that Manhattan has busy
for months.
I like a lot of movies Reeves has
made. This is not one of them. I
look forward to next week and the
opening of Interstellar. Haven’t
seen a SciFi flick since Gravity and
I like the genre. Hopefully, my
next column will be uplifting, Lord
knows Mr. Wick and last week’s
Annabelle weren’t.
Joe Harrington
Is an internationally published true crime
writer and documentary filmmaker.
Send comments or criticism to
JoeMovieMadness@Yahoo.com
Artwork by Bob Crabb.
ISSUE
315
By
E
arly this morning, I was
walking along the Rio Cuale
Malecon bridge with my dog
Chica. On the beach in front of Sea
Monkey, we spotted four dolphins
about 15 metres out, gracefully
gliding northbound through the
still-warm waters of the bay.
Strangely, nobody else seemed to
take notice today. But we enjoyed
the view of these wonderfully wild
creatures just doing their thing…
and then they were gone. It was
one of those special moments this
town offers plenty of, IF you can
see them… and then take them.
Do we take moments, or do we
make them? What do you think?
There are many moments to enjoy
this week as local theatres launch
their Winter schedules in this preThanksgiving period. The new
Boutique Theatre re-opened this
week in its new home perched in
the upper branches above Nacho
Daddy in the middle of Basilio
Badillo, across from Steve’s Sport
Bar on the south side. Boutique
co-directors Ken & Karrie
Sebryk have done it again… a
special space to enjoy theatrical
thespians and other performers
playing to appreciative audiences. We’ve got some wacky nuns on
the loose around town, because the
Boutique Winter season opened
with the return of Nunsense on
Vacation in Vallarta. Nunsense is
a VERY fun musical comedy
about some sisters who run into
trouble while here in Vallarta, and
they need your help. Nunsense is
packaged with a 3-course dinner
Todd Ringness
making it a fully enjoyable night
out for you and your friends,
at a great price. I’ve had the
opportunity to work many times
with the show’s director and costar Federico Fonseca over the
years; “Freddy” hits a home run
EVERY time. Tickets range from
US $16 to $39 (front row table
with 3-course dinner) and are on
sale now at VallartaTickets.com,
but don’t delay… Nunsense closes
on November 22nd, and limited
seating makes sell-outs more than
likely towards the end of its run.
The Act II Stages center is now
open for its second Winter season
on the corner of Basilio Badillo
and Insurgentes on the south
side, and is featuring Assorted
Fruits and Vegetables on the
Main Stage. Assorted Fruits and
Vegetables takes place in the first
Midwestern United States all-gay
retirement community where one
man’s irreverent attitude and turbocharged sex drive wreaks havoc
when fuelled by a handsome,
young Latino caregiver. This
certainly does appear to be a
love story like nothing we’ve
ever seen! Assorted Fruits and
Vegetables is written and directed
by Vallarta resident, Ron Spencer.
Tickets range from US $17 to $31
for VIP seating (includes 2 drinks
and stage-front seating) and are
available at VallartaTickets.com
Next week, The Palm Cabaret
and Bar launches its 15th Winter
season with the return of Spencer
Day on Monday, November 17th.
“Audiences regularly rave about
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
Spencer’s performances at The
Palm. His great stories and velvet
voice appealed to everyone and
we’re thrilled he’s back to open our
15th season!” says Tracy Parks,
Palm entertainment director. My
wife and I had the opportunity to
catch Spencer last season; he is
quite simply a born entertainer
who is passionate about his
music, and is equally talented
on vocals and the keyboard (the
latter being quite a surprise when
Spencer gave his accompanist
what appeared to be a surprise
break… just delightful!) Spencer
Day tickets range from US $23 to
$27 (with a two-drink minimum
purchase) and are available
now
at
VallartaTickets.com
We’ve been hearing about a
pretty exciting event coming to
Nuevo Vallarta. It’s the firstever Vallarta-Nayarit Classic
Rock Festival, featuring Cheap
Trick,
Jefferson
Starship,
Fabulous Thunderbirds, Foghat,
Kansas,
with
performances
by various musicians from
the Stray Cats, Little River
Band, Journey, the Monkees,
and Grand Funk Railroad.
The Classic Rock Festival runs
December 11th through the 15th.
Organizers say the event also
includes a showcase gallery of
famous album cover art and concert
photography, a charity golf event
to raise money for the DIF (local
Family Services Dep’t), as well
as several parties around the bay.
The daily concerts are scheduled
to take place near the Hard Rock
Hotel in Nuevo Vallarta. This is a
pretty large event for our area, and
it’s expected to bring in lots of new
business for the region. Classic
Rock Festival tickets range from
US $95 for a day pass to $350 (allinclusive pass for the entire festival
with meals and beverages and
private VIP seating and festival
t-shirt). Discounted room rates are
November - 2014
The 7 Arts
15
also available from official hotel
partners. More info and tickets are
at VallartaNayaritClassicRockfest.
com. Whether you take or make
your moments this week, I hope
your holiday planning is coming
together nicely. It’s fun seeing
our friends return one by one,
week by week. There is a great
sense of anticipation in the air
that this is going to be another
great season around town. One
burning question… WILL the
new Fajita Republic open this
month on Basilio Badillo, beneath
the construction of the condos
above??? lol Blessings upon you!
Todd Ringness
Along with his wife Sandra Gaye are the
founders of Vallarta Tickets, a Canadian
online ticketing agency serving the
Banderas Bay region and beyond. You can
usually see this man about town, or you
can email: Todd@VallartaTickets.com
16
Map
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315
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
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Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
Map
17
The 7 Arts
18
ISSUE
315
Los Bambinos 2014-2015 season
features The Beach Boys
By
Christina Larson
Puerto
Vallarta’s own Los
Bambinos launch the 2014-2015
show season with their forte: vocal
harmonies and rock n’ roll with a
remarkable Latin twist. What better
group to feature than The Beach
Boys and their 1961 album Surfin’
Safari?! The Morales Brothers
bring the famous surfer-rock
harmonies of the Wilson brothers to
life at Roxy Rock House, Tuesday
nights from 8 to 10 p.m.
“The Beach Boys have really
fun material for us to work with,”
laughed Carlos Morales, the eldest
of the Morales Brothers. “We
are able to play with their vocal
arrangements and rhythm for a
‘good vibration’ show that is really
danceable.” Help Me Rhonda,
Little Surfer Girl and Little Deuce
Coupe are just a couple of the
famous selections you will hear at
the show.
Los Bambinos’ emerging goal
this season is to share their original
sound. Over nine years playing
together, Los Bambinos’ original
style has morphed into what they
can now confidently describe as
W
hat does one do when the
charges under you up and drown?
That is the position Mother Mary is
in in the hit play NUNSENSE... On
Vacation in Vallarta. It seems the
insistent Mother Mary wanted her
charges to experience the Banana Boat
ride off the new pier. Lo and behold,
four Sisters drowned! What is she to do? There
is no money to bury them so she stows them in
a freezer at Nacho Daddy. There is
a play being rehearsed upstairs so
she devises a way to crash the set
and appeal to the audience for funds
to help get the corpses out of the
restaurant’s freezer! (Note: this is
NOT the same freezer Nacho Daddy
is using for the delicious meals being
served to the audience Thursdays to Saturdays
upstairs at the Boutique Dinner Theatre.)
Come and enjoy a wonderful evening of food, fun and frolic. Tickets available online at our website:
www.boutiquetheatre.org or directly at www.vallartatickets.com.
The box office at Nacho Daddy is open from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Come play with us!
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
Show Tuesday nights 8-10 p.m.
at Roxy Rock House
217 Ignacio L. Vallarta, Old Town
Show Reservations:
Call 222-4357 (English Spoken)
Visit www.vallartatickets.com
Latin Rock Fusion. They have
matured and found harmony within
their original music composition
process, allowing for each of them
to express his talent. Their original
sound is replete with their signature
four-part harmonies, and electric
and acoustic instrumentation.
“Their outstanding characters come
through in their original music; it
just makes you feel good each time
you play a track, like you do when
hearing them live. I can’t wait
to hear more of Los Bambino’s
original music!” describes a fan.
“Different from The Beach Boys,
whose songs were mainly about a
culture of beach – cars - surf, our
music sets vocal harmonies and
Latin Rock as the stage for songs
about current social topics as well
as life’s sweeter themes,” says
Carlos of their original sound.
Make sure to check out Mundo
Ideal, their most recent album now
available on iTunes or at the show.
See you there!
More information about
Los Bambinos at:
www.losbambinosmusic.com
ISSUE
315
José Strimiling
Nov. 14th - José Echeverria art opening
at Galleria Dante
D
espite being born in Quito,
capital of Ecuador, José’s life
developed in a small city called
Riobamba. After his high school
graduation, he moved to Quito
to enter University there, in the
field of Sociology, a study he
found very gratifying. It’s in
Quito that his love of art began
to develop. He started as a selftaught artist. Once his university
studies completed, and because
things happen that guide us
down one way or another, his
path became clear. He was
offered a scholarship to study art
by the French government. Thus
began his occupation, for what
would become his profession
and passion: painting. It is
very hard to say with absolute
certainty under what influence
his work developed, but in any
case, he admired the work of
the following artists: Amadeo
Modigliani, with simple lines
but great expressive capabilities;
Vermeer and his scenes of daily
life - chromatic and paradoxical;
The English painter, Francis
Bacon with his scenes that
interpreted the psyche of the
human being; Picasso, who
allowed him to relive childhood
in his creation.
José visited small towns that
have not lost their charm, where
people show even their souls
through their expression and
where their greatest wealth is
their memories …and nature,
which is their source of work.
He grew up watching Mexican
movies - among others the
great Cantinflas, which he
watched many times over. His
readings are those that help
him understand the world in a
at Mundo de Cristal
F
reflective mode, but magically,
humorously, as opposed to the
highly intellectual and even
heartbreaking violence.
His
work, like any creative process,
has changed in its technical
aspects (use of color, material,
etc.), even with attempts to
dabble in the abstract; but
always as a reoccurring element:
the being.
“The overwhelming need to
express myself has led me to
capture in my work, characters
reflected in our condition of
human beings:
a plethora
of feelings, emotions, love,
heartache, dislikes, nostalgia,
absences... in short, everything
that shapes our inner self. The
generosity with which nature
provides its colors, it is a vital
part of my pictorial language.
My hope is that all that I have
experienced in life provokes thru
my work: reflection, sensations,
emotions, good or bad, that
would depend on each spectator,
each human being.”
Come meet this talented artist
from Ecuador at Galleria Dante
on Friday, November 14, from 6
to 10 p.m.!
ine artist José Strimiling will be visiting Mundo de Cristal
on Friday, November 14th, to exhibit his fall & winter collection
entitled “Ventanas” (“Windows”).
He will speak on his conceptualization and work this past
year. This visit has been organized thanks to his connection and
friendship with Mundo de Cristal which is now evolving into
decoration and blown glass items, fine Talavera from the State of
Puebla, baked glass, and all made by hand …in Mexico!
José Strimiling is a self-taught artist who has spent the last
twenty years creating contemporary frames and art objects. He has
been invited to exhibit in art galleries in New York, Atlanta, Las
Vegas, Frankfurt, Havana and Mexico, always receiving a great
response and recognition. The artist has developed new methods
for working with glass, creating works that reflect unique feelings.
On October 31st, he participated in the Ikus International Arts
Festival Mexico 2014-2015 at the Cuernavaca City Museum; the
theme of the exhibit was “Morte per Acqua” (Death by Water).
Strimling was chosen among 1,300 candidates to make up the 70
artists invited from over 20 countries.
The event at Mundo de Cristal will be held from 6 to 10 p.m.
on Friday, November 14th. For more information, please call 2224157 or email kristian@mundodecristal.com.mx
Mundo de Cristal is located at 333 Insurgentes, corner of
Basilio Badillo.
Galleria Dante is located at 269 Basilio Badillo.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
The 7 Arts
November - 2014
19
20
Health Matters
ISSUE
315
HealthCare Resources
November Newsletter
By
A
Pamela Thompson
great big welcome to our
returning “snowbirds”. Hoping that you
had a marvelous summer! It’s amazing
how many people now live here full
time and it was a busy summer as we
continued our regular monthly clinics,
etc. - hot and humid, but beautiful!
Please take your time and read
through the newsletter completely.
If you would like an appointment
or have any questions for any of
the clinics or Hot Topic Mondays,
please send me an email at pamela@
healthcareresourcespv.com
Hot Topic Mondays are at 11:15
a.m. at Hospital Amerimed – 3rd floor
meeting room. No Charge.
Monday, November 10th: Dr. Carlos
Garcia – Urologist - “Everything You
Need to Know About HIFU” (Highintensity focused ultrasound).
If
you have prostate problems, prostate
cancer, then you will want to attend
this talk as Dr. Garcia explains the
procedure, what’s involved, costs etc
in simple terms. Learn about prostate
health as well.
Monday, November 24th: Jean
Martin – Psychotherapist - “How to
Empower Our Emotional Health”.
November Clinics
Remember: Our clinics are
screening clinics.
There are no
procedures performed at the clinics.
By appointment only!
Skin Clinic - Nov. 12 & 26 Cost: 300 pesos – PLUS members:
$250 pesos. An oncologist (not a
dermatologist) will examine your skin
from your scalp to your toes looking
for skin cancer.
Mammogram Clinic – Nov. 13 & 20 Cost: 920 pesos – PLUS members: 820
pesos. Digital Mammogram, Ultrasound
(if deemed necessary) and a manual
exam. We work with a breast specialist
(radiologist) and an oncologist.
We will completely review your
mammogram studies with you – so
you are able to understand everything!
Vascular Clinic – Nov. 14 - Cost: 400
pesos – PLUS members: 350 pesos.
Have your blood flow evaluated by a
vascular specialist including specific
evaluation of legs (varicose veins,
clots, etc.)
Foot Clinic – Nov. 18 - Cost: 300
pesos – PLUS members: 350 pesos.
Performed by a podiatrist, a complete
evaluation of your feet.
Ear Clinic – Nov. 19 - Cost:
375 pesos – PLUS members: 325
pesos. Our ENT doctor will “look
inside” your ears with his specialized
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
equipment. He will also clean your
ears if necessary.
Cardiac Clinic – Nov. 21 - Cost: 550
pesos – PLUS members: 500 pesos.
A cardiac evaluation (including an
EKG) and consult. *We recommend
specific lab work prior to the clinic
which we have a very good discount.
Time to check that cholesterol!
Women’s Clinic – Nov. 25 - Cost: 775
pesos – PLUS members: 690 pesos. Pap
smear and pelvic exam -plus consultby our female gynecologist. *Optional
lab work prior to the clinic available
(hormones/thyroid) if you want to do
that at a very discounted price.
Men’s Urology Clinic – Nov. 25 –
Cost: 700 pesos - PLUS members: 650
pesos. Bladder, prostate and urinary
evaluation by a urologist. *Labwork
recommended prior to the clinic at a
special discounted price.
Eye Clinic – Nov. 26 - Cost: 400
pesos – PLUS members: 375 pesos.
Vision evaluation, eye pressure check
(for glaucoma) by an ophthalmologist.
We have an audiologist that comes
once a month from the U.S. If you need
a hearing test, hearing aids/hearing aid
repair, please contact me and I will
coordinate an appointment for you.
We have ongoing Complete
Men’s and Women’s Check-ups,
Colonoscopy, Endoscopy. If you need
any specific labwork, MRI, X-rays,
CT scan – whatever – just let us know!
We work with a wide variety of
bilingual, board-certified physicians
of all specialties and handle the
appointments for them. (Note there
is never a referral fee!) Contact us if
November - 2014
you are looking for a specific type of
physician. We have a large variety of
people that we work with including
acupuncture, acupressure, physical
therapy, Hyperbaric chamber, Stem Cell,
PRP – the works! Just send an email!
We are more than happy to set up a
one-on-one meeting to talk about your
personal healthcare needs. (No charge
of course). For an appointment, please
send me an email.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Do
your homework! Plan ahead! It is
so very important to make sure you
have the proper insurance coverage
– whether it be a travelers insurance,
international insurance, air evacuation
policy or a Mexican (private) policy.
We do not sell insurance but we do
work with a wide variety of agents.
For further information/question,
please send an email.
HealthCare Resources has grown by
leaps and bounds the past few years
with the number of people attending
our clinics and receiving assistance
more than doubling each year. We
love what we do and are thrilled with
the feedback that we receive. We are
so very proud of the physicians that
we work with and we are here for you
for any of your healthcare needs!
Here’s to a super “high season”!!!
Pamela Thompson
HealthCare Resources Puerto Vallarta
pamela@healthcareresourcespv.com
Cell: (322) 107-7007
ISSUE
315
Do you have attention deficit?
By
Giselle Belanger
It shouldn’t be any surprise to me
that since a large percentage of people
I see in therapy are over 50 years old,
that we are discovering that many of
them have ADD or ADHD and have
never been diagnosed.
“Attention Deficit Disorder” or
ADD is a fairly common diagnosis
in school-age children, especially if
it is combined with hyperactivity or
ADHD. However, 30, 40, 50 years
ago, it lurked in the classrooms and no
one knew what to call it or what to do
about it. They didn’t even know what
“it” was. The children suffered, the
teachers complained, and the mothers
agonized. As you may remember
in your elementary school days,
there always seemed to be one kid
disrupting the classroom or bouncing
off the walls or who could never sit
still, which was an unmistakable
sign of hyperactivity. They were the
only ones likely to be diagnosed and
back then and put on Ritalin. They
were the lucky ones. The rest went
undiagnosed and slipped through the
cracks.
Instead, their symptoms were labeled
as negative attitudes or behaviors
and they were accused of “not
paying attention” … “not trying hard
enough”… “not being interested”…
“daydreaming”
…
“always
interrupting”…
“procrastinating”.
As the years passed, many of these
children continued struggling through
school, being scolded and punished by
their parents for poor grades and bad
behavior and being shamed by their
teachers and classmates. Eventually,
their self-esteem sank causing them to
believe they were stupid, incapable,
and inferior and their self-worth was
based on non-academic activities like
sports, music, art, sex, and drugs.
RN, LCSW
Growing up
Does any of this sound familiar?
Who does this remind you of: your
partner, your sibling, your child, or
yourself? Think of that person or
consider yourself as you read this.
(I will now refer to the person with
ADD as “you”) Growing up, did
you feel like: you didn’t fit in… no
one understood you… that you were
stupid… why bother… you shouldn’t
have the same dreams and goals as
your friends… university was out
of the question… you shouldn’t
expect much success??? Did you go
through life feeling like everyone was
aggravated with you and annoyed at
your irresponsibility, forgetfulness,
tardiness? Did you come to believe
that you are the screw up they kept
accusing you of being?
Socially, you may have suffered as
well. Your choice in friends probably
changed. You may have started
hanging around with the bad crowd,
or maybe you isolated. Maybe you
lost interest in things that used to
be exciting. You may have become
much more negative and irritable.
You may have walked around angry
and defensive. You may have been
depressed.
How has your undiagnosed ADD
(or ADHD) affected your adult life?
Often times, you don’t realize
that your general behavior or way
of doing things isn’t normal. I hear
those affected with ADD, comment
all of the time that they had no idea
other people weren’t like that or that
they have always thought their partner
nagged for no reason.
Does your partner, boss, or friends
accuse you of any of the following?
Being disorganized… not finishing
projects at all or not on time…
not following instructions… not
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
paying attention to detail… making
careless mistakes… shifting from
one project or task to another without
completing them. Do you misplace
things: sunglasses, car keys, reading
glasses, wallet, cell phones? Do you
lack organizational habits like always
putting such things in a specific place
every time? Do you toss things into a
junk drawer and then frantically look
for it later on? Is your purse a mess?
In conversations, are you accused
of interrupting, not letting someone
finish their sentence or thought, and/
or not listening to what other people
are saying? Is it difficult to tolerate
opposing opinions? Are you easily
distracted?
Scattered? Are you forgetful? Do you
always need reminding? Do you keep
an agenda or calendar? Do you have a
routine? Do you plan ahead or hate to
plan? Do you manage time well?
What have you learned to do over
the years to compensate for any of
this or are you still scattered and
provoking a lot of negative response
from others?
Is all of this the source of
many of your relationship issues,
disagreements, fights? Have you
sabotaged job opportunities or lost a
job due to this? Has your school and/
or job performance suffered because
of this?
Here is an excellently written
illustration of what it is to experience
an ADHD thought process. Let’s
take a sneak peek: “Good morning
mind, wait, let me catch-up with you.
Let me have the first cup of coffee
before I begin my day! Ah, coffee
helps me focus on today’s plans...
Oh, the dog has “the look” and it’s
time to take him to the dog park...
e-mails oh e-mails… someone might
be e-mailing me! Leash, where IS the
leash? Where is the coffee?... gotta
have coffee… where is the dog? … oh
yah, dog, dog park… gotta get off the
computer…no time for that now…I
do wonder what the annual rainfall
is in Chile in October… travel sounds
great right now! Oh, I need to see
the Chiropractor today… what time?
Dog…leash…out the door… Oh no,
NO laundry soap… ANOTHER trip to
November - 2014
Health Matters
21
Costco, takes all day and I don’t have
any time. The phone, did I forget my
appointment… which appointment?
Missed call… wonder who called.
Could call back, but not now, I don’t
have time. If it is important, they will
leave a message. Car keys… did I
leave them in the dog park??”
Those of us who have no idea of
what is to experience this are probably
laughing out loud. It is truly incredible.
I can’t imagine trying to filter all of
that and focus. Those of you with
ADD, probably aren’t laughing at all.
You are probably thinking that “this
sounds just like me”.
Over the years, it is likely that
you’ve adapted and learned how to
compensate for many of these things
or learned how to manage them,
so that they have less of an impact
on your daily life. Even with the
compensatory skills, life is still way
too difficult.
Get diagnosed
It is not necessary for you to tolerate
living like this any longer. Getting
diagnosed (by a psychiatrist) and
onto medications can be life changing
…seriously. Children and adults
notice changes within hours and
over the course of several days or
weeks; they can’t imagine their life
without it. Students’ grades improve
dramatically.
Take the following quizzes and
as you answer them, consider how
different your answers would be if
you were to think back to your school
years?
http://www.addvance.com/help/
women/girl_questionnaire.html
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/
adhd/l/bl_adhd_quiz.htm
http://www.fmsnutrition.com/
adhd_self_testing_or_test.htm
Giselle Belanger
RN, LCSW (psychotherapist) is available
for appointments in person, by phone,
or by skype webcam. Contact info:
ggbelangerpv@gmail.com Mex cell: 044
(322) 138-9552 or US cell: (312) 914-5203.
22
Vallarta Voices
By
ISSUE
315
Anna Reisman
T
wo weeks ago, we were
reminded of the twelfth anniversary
of Hurricane Kenna’s passing along
the Pacific coast of Mexico. Now it’s
time to recall that it’s been a little over
four years since the collapse of one of
the bridges over the Rio Ameca – the
river that separates our state of Jalisco
from our neighboring state of Nayarit.
The tragedy happened during one
of those typical summer storms that
supporting concrete pylons / pillars
had simply given way under the force
of the Ameca’s current. Following
the horrific collapse, which occurred
in the dark of night, a French firm
was contracted to install a temporary
bridge, which would later be replaced
by a permanent one built according
to the latest available technology. I
sure hope someone is giving proper
maintenance to that one and the older
cause the rivers that pour into the bay
to grow very strong and sometimes
overflow their banks. Turned out
that no one authority had wanted to
assume responsibility for the bridge’s
upkeep over the years and the
one whose traffic goes in the opposite
direction, so that neither will collapse
any time soon.
Still on the topic of “infrastructure”,
the City sent a work crew to fix
Jacarandas Street. Someone took
a photo of the crew and the
City proudly posted it on its
Facebook page on October
24th. We who live in the area
were very happy and excited.
Then the workers left …and
haven’t returned to this day.
Some of the comments I’ve
seen allude to the fact that
work is being done in nontourist areas in order to garner
votes from the residents. That may
or may not be true, but if our visitors
notice the bad condition of the streets
in the “tourist” sections of town,
and accumulated garbage in way
too many places, they won’t return
and the consequences will affect
those residents with nice streets,
but lowered income. Oh well, what
can one person do? Not much other
than vote I suppose. At
least they haven’t messed
around with the borders of
voting districts here – yet.
My winter “roomie”
is arriving this week, so
I’ll be able to share my
airport news with you
then, if any. I hope she
will join me at Mike
Pohl’s annual Oktoberfest
at his Hacienda Alemana. That place
always fills up for this celebration.
No wonder, the food –as always- is
great, with the platters being refilled
as soon as they’re emptied, i.e.: very
often.
I’ve also got reservations at Sol
Rosen’s Café Bohemio, finally,
and Añejo Limon. I wonder if
the Botanical Gardens will
have a Pig Roast for their 9th
Anniversary…
There are new shows opening
at our 3 theater / cabarets…
the 9th I Madonnari Chalk Art
Festival in the main square
this weekend (incredible artists
creating masterpieces on the
pavement), the International
Gourmet Festival, and so on
and so forth… So much to do, not
enough time…
And on the topic of time… I really
dislike these seven weeks or so, as
the days get shorter and shorter until
the winter solstice, and it gets dark
really early, messing with my body
clock. On the other hand, if I am to
base myself on the past 20 winters
I’ve spent here, I think that we should
be blessed with less hot sunny days
from now until next May – unless
the damage we’ve done to Mother
Earth causes her to make more drastic
changes…
Although the official whale
watching season won’t start until
some time around mid-December,
there has already been one sighting of
our beautiful humpbacks that I know
of. That’s great news!
Well, that’s all I’ve got for this
week, folks. Please note that if you’re
not in PV, you can still read this and
all the other columns you enjoy in the
PV Mirror at www.pvmcitypaper.com
If you want to write to me directly,
my email is sheis@ymail.com May
your Mirror always reflect a happy,
healthy you! Hasta luego.
Dentalcent r
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
ISSUE
315
“Texting Woman Impaled
in the Buttocks”
By
S
Gil Gevins
ome headlines really do their
job: you have no choice; you must
read the article. Unfortunately, the
story about the impaled buttocks was
on the thin side, containing few facts
and leaving all sorts of lurid details
to the imagination. In fact, it was
so uninformative, I smelled a rat.
Between the texting, the impaling
and the buttocks, something did not
add up. As a formerly unemployed
investigative journalist, I knew I had
to get to the bottom of this obscure
affair, remove the drawers of deceit
(so to speak) and assemble the facts
of the case.
Though brief, the article did give
the woman’s name and home town:
Celine Bartkowski, from Sheep Dip,
Nebraska. Amazingly, in the town
of Sheep Dip there was only one
Celine Bartkowski, and I soon had
her number.
“What in God’s name are you
doing now?” my wife asked.
I’d set up camp in the living room
with a thermos of coffee, a legal pad,
six pens, a Google map of downtown
Sheep Dip, and a salami sandwich.
The television was tuned to a Mexican
morning talk show, so that it would
sound to Celine as if I were in a
bustling newsroom. Or at a crowded
taco stand. If, by the way, you have
never watched a Mexican morning
talk show, consider yourself fortunate.
“I’m investigating,” I told Lucy.
“Investigating what?”
“The mystery of the impaled
buttocks.”
My wife rolled her eyes and said,
“That’s nice. Could you please
turn down the TV? It’s giving me a
headache.”
“Sorry, honey, I can’t do that. I’m
about to make an important long
distance call, and it’s imperative that
the formerly impaled woman on the
other end believes that I’m calling from
a busy newsroom. Or a taco stand.”
“All right,” my wife said, “as
long you weren’t the one doing the
impaling.”
Two minutes later I was live, on the
phone with Celine Bartkowski.
“A collect call, operator?” Celine
was saying. “From who?”
“Sean Innanity from Fox News.”
“Fox News? Oh, my God! Yes,
operator, I’ll accept the charges!”
“Miss Bartkowski?”
“Yes?”
“The same Miss Bartkowski who
was recently impaled in the buttocks
region while texting?”
“Yes, yes! Am I really speaking to
Sean Hannity?”
“You heard the operator.”
“Oh, my God! I watch your show
every day, Mr. Hannity. But… why
are you calling collect?”
“Oh, that’s SOP here at Fox. Just
submit a notarized copy of your
phone bill and our accounting
department will reimburse you. Now,
Mrs. Buttkowski, I am thinking of
having you on my show, but I need
to gather a little more background
before I make a decision.”
“Oh! Oh!”
“First of all, how tall are you and
how much do you weigh?”
“I’m five foot five, and I weigh…
um…”
“Tell the truth, Miss Barkowski.
We’ll find out anyway; we always
weigh our guests before they appear
on the show.” “All right… a hundred
and eighty-five. But I’m on a diet.”
“I see, and what percentage of
that poundage would you estimate is
situated in the buttocks area?”
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
“Why do you want to know how
big her butt is?” Lucy asked.
“Quiet!”
“Is something wrong?” Celine
asked.
“No, no, just one of my production
assistants. There seems to be some
breaking news, or something.”
“Oh, do you have to call me back?”
“No need, it’s a story that makes
the Democrats look good, so we
can’t put it on the air. Getting back to
your buttocks…”
“Yes, Mr. Hannity, I am kind of
large in that department. But some
men like that.”
“I see. And where approximately in
that general region did the utility pole
make its entrance. In the geophysical
center, perhaps?”
“No, nothing like that. I was
impaled in the left cheek.”
“Holy Rupert, Irene! I can call you
Irene, can’t I? It must be quite the
expansive cheek, to be capable of
accommodating a utility pole. And,
what exactly were you texting at the
time of the incident?”
“I was texting my cousin Norma
what I had for breakfast. I just took
my eyes off the road for a second,
I swear. Um, Mr. Hannity… who is
Irene?”
“I see. So it was a small breakfast,
then?”
“Well…”
“You’re a Republican, aren’t you,
Miss Bumkowski?”
“Bartkowski. Yes. How did you
know?”
“Lucky guess. So, would you say
that, all things considered, your
accident was President Obama’s
fault?”
“President Obama?”
“Yes, you see, if we can’t blame it
on Obama, I can’t have you on the
show. Were you possibly so angry
at Obama’s war on religion that you
just had to send that text, even though
you were driving?”
“The text was about what I had for
breakfast, Mr. Hannity, and…”
“And that would have been
cucumber juice and organic lettuce,
just like Mrs. Dictator-In-Chief is
November - 2014
Smile!
23
forcing the down the threadbare
throats of our hungry young
schoolchildren?”
“Well, no. Actually, I had breakfast
at IHOP: Pigs-in-a-blanket and
strawberry waffles, with coffee - no
cream. I told you I was on a diet.”
“Yes, well, getting back to how
your accident was Obama’s fault, I’m
afraid you’ll have to come up with
a believable scenario in which the
Muslim-In-Chief is somehow, even
if only indirectly, responsible for
your misfortune. And the misfortune,
I might add, of Freedom-Loving
Americans Everywhere!”
“Believable? I don’t know, Mr.
Hannity.”
“Believable, Irene, is the most
relative word in the English
language. When I say, believable,
I don’t mean believable to an elitist
Harvard professor. I mean, believable
to someone like you, someone who
watches my show. In others words,
Irene, here at Fox News, where
Accuracy is our middle name, we’re
setting the bar as low as it will go.
One more question, and please think
about this before you answer: Was it
painful?”
“Was it painful getting impaled in
the butt by a utility pole?”
“I wouldn’t know, Irene, I’ve never
voted Democrat.”
Gil Gevins
Is the author of four hilarious books,
including the cult-classic, PUERTO
VALLARTA ON 49 BRAIN CELLS A DAY,
and his latest and greatest, SLIME AND
PUNISHMENT. Signed copies of all Gil’s
books are available at LUCY’S CUCU
CABAÑA, located at 295 Basilio Badillo;
or as E-Books on Amazon.
24
Legal Matters
ISSUE
315
Ask Luis
By
Luis Melgoza
Dear Luis: Air travel was a major
part of my professional life for over
twenty-five years, not to mention over
fifty years of air travel for personal
business and pleasure. I have been on
everything from military transports
to the Concorde, helicopters to hot
air balloons... and have even had the
nasty experience of landing in foam
when the landing gear on a Sabreliner
didn’t lock into place. However,
my most terrifying experience in air
travel happened just a few days ago...
a short flight: just from Mexico City
to Puerto Vallarta, on Viva Aerobus,
advertised as the “Low Cost Mexican
Airline.”
The introduction to this ludicrous
excuse for an airline is online at
vivaaerobus.com where, if not for the
fact that Interjet’s and Aeromexico’s
flights were full on the day I had to be
in Puerto Vallarta, I would have exited
without purchasing a ticket because
of their nickle-and-dime-ing the
passenger into paying considerably
more than the cost of a full-price
ticket on either of the aforementioned
airlines. Having paid extra to check
one bag and take a carry-on weighing
up to 15 kgs. (they billed my credit
card twice for this “privilege”, by
the way), I arrived two hours early
to the airport, where Viva Aerobus
had exactly two agents for checkin and documentation of baggage. I
had paid an extra $95. pesos for Viva
Express - a special line for express
check-in - but there wasn’t one.
When I mentioned it to someone with
an ID from Viva Aerobus, she found
it funny. So I waited in line for over
1½ hours. Finally, an agent checked
me in, documented my bag and made
me weigh my carry-on AND purse.
Since I had paid extra for a carry-on
up to 15 kgs., I was not limited to the
10 kgs like the passenger before me
in line, whose carry-on weighed 11
kgs. and for which he had to pay an
extra $1,000. Pesos. Since there are
no assigned seats on Viva Aerobus,
I had also paid $360. Pesos for a
boarding pass to be among the first
25 passengers to board and choose
a seat. The agent wrote VIP on my
boarding pass and told me to go
to Sala B. In Sala B, the flight was
not on the board. I asked the airport
information person, and she said that
Viva Aerobus didn’t always announce
flights, and to listen carefully for a
last-minute announcement.
It finally came, and I ran to gate 4,
where a woman was lining people up,
as they arrived running, by boarding
groups to board the plane. I walked
up and showed her my VIP boarding
pass, and she let group one board while
she insisted I show her identification
to be sure it really was my boarding
pass (none in the following group had
to show IDs).
Finally I board, and find myself on
a Boeing 727 with six seats per row
(727’s were designed for 5 seats per
row), so there was barely room for
passengers to walk down the aisle.
The seats were shabby leather and
there was trash in the seat pockets
from former flights. Viva Aerobus
advertises new planes.
Boeing
stopped making 727’s in 1984, so
this particular “new bus” is at least
30 years old (when I purchased my
ticket I was told I’d fly in an Airbus
A320, a fairly new airplane). When
it finally took off, it rattled and shook
and trembled and I silently questioned
if their geriatric plane maintenance
was any better than their customer
service!
After a turbulent flight and a fourbump landing, we finally arrived in
Puerto Vallarta where I eventually
found my checked bag, and ran
gleefully from the airport, feeling
lucky to be alive.
Luis, what can I do to get the ball
rolling for the government to check
out this airline, and hopefully, close it
down? I do not want to see a friend or
foe make the mistake of flying in these
dangerous old planes, not to mention
the fact that the mere existence of such
an airline is degrading to the image
of Mexico. If I were a tourist and
this was my first flight in Mexico...
believe me, I would never come back.
Dear Reader: Viva Aerobus
declined to comment when I called
them. I had a similar experience with
the now fortunately defunct AirTran
several years ago.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
You should complain about this
travesty to:
Secretaría de Turismo
(Mexico’s Secretariat of Tourism)
Dirección General de
Verificación y Sanción
Presidente Masaryk 172, Piso 5,
Col. Bosques de Chapultepec
11580 México, D. F.
e-mail: quejas@sectur.gob.mx
Telephone: (55) 3002-6300
Extensions 2380, 2381 y 2393
Procuraduría Federal del
Consumidor (a.k.a. PROFECO,
Mexico’s Consumer Protection Agency)
Dirección General de
Quejas y Conciliación
Av. José Vasconcelos 208, piso 6
Colonia Condesa, Del. Cuauhtémoc
06140 México, DF.
e-mail: extranjeros@profeco.gob.mx
In PV: Avenida Francisco Villa 900,
Col. Las Gaviotas.
Dirección General de Aeronáutica
Civil (Mexico’s Civilian Air Traffic
Administration)
Avenida Xola,
esquina con Eje Central S/N
Col. Narvarte, Del. Benito Juárez
03020 México, D.F,
Tel. (55) 5723-9300
Web contact: http://www.sct.gob.
mx/index.php?id=16
Send me your questions to askluis@
pvgeeks.com, I am not able to answer
each message privately due to the
volume of mail I receive. I do not
take legal cases, I am retired from the
practice of Law.
Luis Melgoza
Is a former PRI (Mexico’s ruling party)
Head Counsel and Legal Adviser to the
Mexican Congress. Although retired
from the legal profession, he is a highly
respected consultant for both the foreign
and Mexican communities in Puerto
Vallarta. Luis’ PVGeeks is the premiere
wireless high-speed Internet provider in
Puerto Vallarta. For Internet service, you
can reach Luis at lumel@pvgeeks.com
ISSUE
315
VIEWPOINT
By
Harriet Murray
Exclusive listing agreement with sellers
A
n exclusive listing is NOT an
agreement to cut out other agents.
An exclusive listing agreement
between a seller and an AMPI
Associate
(broker)
is
an
arrangement to market and sell
the owner’s property. The seller
gives the Associate the right and
responsibility to represent the seller
to promote the sale or exchange of
the property for an agreed-upon
period of time.
The listing is “exclusive” because
a named Associate has the primary
obligation to represent the seller.
This Associate agrees to offer the
property for sale to active members
of AMPI.
The exclusive Associate agrees
to promote the property through
different methods of advertising,
including AMPI MLS.
The listing agent may also agree
that the listed property can be
promoted on member websites by
way of cooperation and use of the
AMPI MLS software. The website
will say this listed property may not
be the exclusive of the host site, but
is listed by a member of the AMPI
MLS. Co-operating in this way
reaches more potential buyers for the
property, and still protects the listing
Associate and benefits the seller.
The seller agrees to pay the
Associate a sales commission if
the property is sold or exchanged
during the listed period or any
extension. The fee is due, if during
the term of the contract or extension,
the property is withdrawn from the
market, transferred, sold, leased or
rented without the consent of the
Associate or made unmarketable
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
by voluntary acts of the Seller.
The listing fee becomes due and
collectable at the moment any of
these events happen.
The seller is not released from
his obligation to pay the fee,
without the written consent of the
listing Associate. The seller is not
released from his responsibility
under the contract, should he
change his mind or try to break the
contract or voluntarily damage the
property in an attempt to break his
agreement. These conditions may
appear harsh, but they have come
into being from prior experiences
with contractual agreements.
The real estate fee agreed upon
is due if the property is sold
within 180 calendar days after
the termination of the contract (or
extension between the buyer and
seller), if such a sale is made to an
individual or legal entity to whom
the Associate or his sub-agent have
shown the property during the term
of the agreement. The fee is due
if the sale is made to persons with
whom the listing Associate has had
negotiations prior to the termination
date of the listing agreement (or
extensions), provided that the
seller has received a prior notice in
writing from the Associate stating
the names of the prospective
purchasers.
The seller authorizes his
representative
(exclusive
Associate) to divide with other
November - 2014
Real Estate
25
Brokers the real estate fees in a
way which is acceptable to said
brokers and in compliance with the
AMPI MLS rules and regulations.
In the event of a trade or
exchange, the Seller agrees the
Associate represents both parties
and will collect the real estate
fee from both owners after the
trade or exchange. There has to
be, however; full disclosure to all
parties that the Associate mediated
in the transaction. The Associate is
authorized to divide this fee with
other Associates who are party
to the transaction in a mutually
agreed upon manner.
This article is based upon legal
opinions, current practices and my
personal experiences in the Puerto
Vallarta-Bahia de Banderas areas.
I recommend that each potential
buyer or seller conduct his own
due diligence and review.
Harriet Murray
Can be contacted at:
harriet@casasandvillas.com
26
Calendar / Directories
ISSUE
315
Solution to crossword on page 31
Solution to Sudoku on page 31
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014
ISSUE
315
Yellowfin Tuna at El Banco,
Sailfish & Marlin increase
By
W
Stan Gabruk
e all know that predicting
what will happen in the world of
Sportfishing is almost impossible.
Now we can tell you what happened
yesterday and what we ¨think¨
will happen tomorrow, but in the
end we’re just throwing out a best
guess when targeting gamefish. The
only thing that balances out fishing
predictions is if it happened ¨there¨
yesterday, it could still be happening
¨there¨ today. Of course you’re
always disappointed when you visit
yesterday’s spot and your targeted
fantasy fish is nowhere to be found.
What is exciting is when you catch
a species that you didn’t expect and
right now, that’s Yellowfin Tuna.
That’s right, I used the ¨YF¨word,
but it’s far from automatic, amigos,
though the chance is there!
Anyone who knows fishing in
PV knows that if you want big,
world class fishing, you have to be
at either Corbeteña or El Banco (or
anywhere in between). Both are
our famous deep water, deep sea
star fishing grounds - especially at
this time of the year when anything
impossible can become possible
as screaming reels announce ¨Fish
On¨. As mentioned earlier, El
Banco has shown ¨some¨ signs of
life in the form of Yellowfin tuna
in the 100 to 150-lb range. So
you have a chance, how much of a
(Owner of Master Baiter’s Sportfishing & Tackle)
chance you may ask? Well, if you’re
in the area, the chances improve.
Black and Blue Marlin, mostly
Blue, are also around the area,
running anywhere from 350 to over
800 lbs., just depends on your luck.
And for the present, Dorado in the
35-lb range are moving into the area
as well. With Rainbow runners,
Cubera Snapper and Sailfish, there
aren’t many species you don’t have
a shot at right now! Oh, if targeting
Yellowfin, make sure you’re using a
kite, keep that between us!
Corbeteña is about the same, but
for now the Yellowfin Tuna are yet
to arrive. Still the Sailfish, Marlin,
Dorado and Snapper are plenty
of fish to catch your attention.
Corbeteña is a little cheaper trip, a
little closer and for my money, may
be a better choice for the next ten
minutes or so.
If you’re around the Marieta
Islands there is finally some signs of
life with some, I said some Rooster
fish in the area, tons of Bonito 20
to 45 lbs., Needle fish in the 40lb range. Maybe a slight shot at
Dorado. Sailfish are close to El Moro
and I see no reason why they’re not
closer to the Marieta Islands, but
there you are. Heading out towards
Corbeteña trolling, Blue Marlin
have been hanging out around the
area, so being in the area is the first
requirement, amigo! Now if you’re
in the area off the point of Punta
Mita, you’re still boating Sailfish
and Dorado, nothing new since it’s
been like this all summer. If you’re
looking at only 8 hours, then these
two places will get you some armburning action.
Inside the bay is great with
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
massive amounts of Bonito, Skip
jack Tuna to 50 lbs. around Yelapa
still, Needle fish, Jack Crevalle are
here as well, and they’re primarily a
winter fish. Sailfish are still being
boated by the lucky few in the bay,
to me this is unusual, but lately it’s
been kinda normal... go figure.
So you pretty much can’t lose
when it comes to fishing for the time
being. Water temps are slightly
cooler, but not cold. Northern
water temps around California are
dropping quickly so we’re expecting
to see Yellowfin Tuna numbers pick
up for the late season, same for
Dorado. With this being an El Niño
year, our fish have been vacationing
in Southern California so we’ll
welcome them back with open arms
and a gaff. Blue water and smooth
seas have been the norm, but we’re
always on the watch for late season
hurricanes. The full moon will be
on us soon, so be aware and have
some fun.
November - 2014
Fish Tales
27
One last thing, some days it
seems that Dorado are only taking
lures, so have some blue, silver and
pink lures at the ready. Live bait is
plentiful with bullet Bonito, Google
Eyes, Flying fish and the list of
course goes on…
Until next time, don’t forget to kiss
your fish and remember: at Master
Baiter’s Sportfishing & Tackle
“We Won’t Jerk You Around!”
Master Baiter’s has changed
locations in Marina Vallarta,
now between docks A and B
on the boardwalk. Email your
questions to me at: CatchFish@
MasterBaiters.com.mx Web page:
www.MasterBaiters.com.mx , local
Phone at: (044) 322 779-7571
or if roaming: 011 521 322 7797571 cell phone direct. Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/
M a s t e r- B a i t e r s - S p o r t f i s h i n g Tackle/88817121325
The trade
name Master Baiter’s ® Sportfishing
and Tackle is protected under trade
mark law and is the sole property of
Stan Gabruk.
28
Hi-Tech
RIP Plasma
This past week, LG Electronics
announced it would shut down its
remaining Plasma TV production
in November. Earlier in the year,
Samsung and Panasonic also
announced November 2014 would
mark the end of their plasma TV
production as well.
These last 3 big names pulling
out, means the last nail in the coffin
for Plasma TVs. After this holiday
shopping season, you will be hard
pressed to find a plasma TV in stores.
Plasma TVs are made up of millions
of pixels filled with gas between two
layers of glass that light up in different
colors when they are hit with an
electrical current. Meanwhile LCD
televisions use screens made of liquid
crystals that are lit up from behind to
create images and it is less expensive
to make than Plasma TVs.
ISSUE
315
Plasma TVs offered what many TV
geeks and experts considered to be
the best picture quality on the market
in the past few years. Purists claimed
Plasma TVs have better blacks,
brighter overall images and warmer
tones than the less expensive LCD
and LED TVs.
In a related death, it seems the
“miracle” of OLED TV is also facing
a slow death - even before it became
mainstream! OLED technology uses
an electroluminescent layer of film of
organic compound which emits light
in response to an electric current.
But the high costs of OLED screens
never came down much in its evolution.
Scaling up to mass production has
been the biggest downfall of OLED.
Sony announced earlier this year it
was halting development of OLED in
favor of 4K Ultra TVs.
But let’s get back to the memorial
of Plasma TV’s. The very first
prototype for a monochrome plasma
display monitor was invented in July
1964 at the University of Illinois.
This led the path to 1999 when the
first 60-inch Plasma TV prototype
was unveiled.
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
It gave size with high resolution
while relatively thin compared to the
tube TVs of the day.
But the early ideas back in the
1960s of a Plasma high resolution
TV was the solution - but a solution
to no real problem. In 1968, color
TVs were still a premium in the
consumer market, let alone the idea
of HD. Besides, where would you get
content in HD in the 1960’s??? US
TV companies soon passed on the
idea of bringing Plasma TVs to mass
market in the 1960s.
The main thought at the time for
Plasma screens were for computer
display in education and possibly
military use. Interestingly, Japanese
companies sent many engineers to the
University of Illinois’ Plasma TV labs,
to study this new groundbreaking
technology. They soaked it all in and
Japan later became leaders in the field
for many years. IBM took an interest
in this new screen technology and paid
$1 Million US Dollars for licensing
rights. That license lead to1983 and
the IBM 3290 Information Panel,
“the industry’s first mass-produced,
large-screen plasma display terminal
for commercial use,” according to an
IBM advertisement.
TV companies including RCA,
Zenith, and General Electric
took notice of early press reports
about plasma displays as potential
“hang-on-the-wall” TVs. Japanese
companies were also interested
and began buying licenses for their
own plasma display research with
help of the Japanese government
broadcasting system.
In contrast, the US government in
the 1960’s seemed more interested in
getting to the moon and “policing”
the world rather than encouraging
development of a new form of TV.
One of the disadvantages of early
Plasma technology was the “burn-in”
problem where, after prolonged use,
you could get a permanent ghosted
image burned into the screen. Later
Plasma evolution minimized this
problem, but nonetheless, the same
problem did not happen on tube-style
TVs of the day.
November - 2014
In 1997, Philips introduced a
42-inch Plasma TV, with 852x480
resolution. It was the first plasma TV
to be displayed to the retail public and
only in 4 Sears stores in the US. The
price was $14,999. Dollars, BUT did
include in-home installation!!! For
that price, you should have gotten
a full-time employee changing the
channels for you!
In the early 2000s, the Plasma TV
ruled the large screen TV market.
The TV industry even gave an Emmy
award in 2002 for technological
achievement
to
the
original
University of Illinois inventors of the
plasma display.
But by 2007, LCD technology had
evolved to be very good at larger sizes
like Plasma. Falling prices of LCD
technology where dramatic, while
Plasma technology prices had not
fallen anywhere near as much, keeping
Plasma as an expensive option. The
largest plasma display in the world
was shown by Panasonic at the 2008
Consumer Electronics Show in Las
Vegas. At 150 inches, it stood at an
astounding 6 feet tall by 11 feet wide.
By 2010, Plasma TV sales peaked
at around 20 million units, but have
been on a sharp decline ever since
and has now led to the market all but
abandoning the technology. RIP.
That’s all my time for now. See you
again next week...
Until then, remember: only safe
Internet!
Ronnie Bravo
Ron can be found at CANMEX Computers.
Sales, Repairs, Data Recovery,
Networking, Wi-Fi, Hardware upgrades,
Graphic Design, House-calls available.
www.RonnieBravo.com,
Cellular 044-322-157-0688 or just
email to Canmex@Gmail.com
ISSUE
315
First Vallarta Garden
Club Meeting – Meet
“Farmer” Krystal Frost
Nature’s World
29
The Vallarta Garden Club kicks of its season with
Krystal Frost, founder of Organic Select, an on-line
Farmer’s Market, as its speaker. Krystal is one of
the most knowledgeable people in Vallarta to ask
questions about nutritious food – how to shop, what
to look for, what to avoid, how to grow it. She’s a
long time resident of PV, and has a resume ranging
from cosmetic acupuncture, massage therapy, yoga,
nutritional counseling, and now farming! Check out
Organic Select’s website to learn more about this
grass-roots movement at www.organic-select.com
The meeting is Thursday, November 20th at 11 a.m.
at Coco’s Kitchen, 122 Pulpito in the Romantic Zone
on the south side of town. Come early and mingle.
Stay after the meeting too and socialize for lunch.
At the Vallarta Botanical Gardens…
T
he Gardens are getting ready to receive approximately 60 visitors from
the Santa Barbara / Puerto Vallarta Sister Cities Organization on Saturday,
November 8th, from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.
At that time, the visitors will be treated to a presentation and a
tour of the new Vallarta Conservatory of Orchids and Native Plants,
as well as other highlights of the Vallarta Botanical Gardens.
Sunday, November 9th marks the Gardens’ 9th Anniversary!
That celebration will be rung in with a celebration at 2 p.m. which will
include a complimentary slice of cake for all who join in at that time.
Garden Amenities and Services
Visit the Gardens’ Hacienda de Oro Restaurant for authentic Mexican
food and brick-oven pizza. Our new menu includes delicious dishes such as
fish and shrimp tacos. Hike the Gardens’ nature trails and bask in tropical
mountain scenery. Experience the Orchid Conservatory, Gift Shop, plant
nursery, tequila tasting and more. You can even shop the Gardens remotely
through our online store. The very best of Vallarta!
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
Spend the day in the Gardens for only $60 pesos. The Gardens are about
a 30-minute drive south of Old Town, Puerto Vallarta, on Carretera a Barra
Navidad at km 24, just past Las Juntas y Los Veranos, all easily accessible
by public transportation. Our world-class plant collections, miles of hiking
trails through native forests and a host of special activities give you countless
reasons to visit us soon. Telephone (322) 223-6182. Open from 9 a.m. to 5
p.m., Tuesday to Sunday. Web site: www.vbgardens.org
November - 2014
30
Nature’s World
ISSUE
315
Planting Roots
in Mexico
By
Tommy Clarkson
Asparagus Fern
Protasparagus
densiflorus ‘Sprengeri’
Family: Strelitziaceae
What
we commonly call
Asparagus Fern is, in fact, neither
– not an asparagus as we think of
them (though in the same family)
and not a fern! Truth be known,
they are actually members of the
Lily family, native to the coastal
areas in the southeastern part of the
Cape of Good Hope in South Africa.
The Protasparagus densiflorus
‘Sprengeri’ is one of the most
popular.
These are for visual
enjoyment as - the name
notwithstanding – you should not
try to eat them because all parts
have an unpleasant toxicity.
Regardless of that fact, several
different varieties of Asparagus Fern
have been grown as house plants
since the late 19th century. They
are favorites for such in that they
grow fast and need little attention
or maintenance. The ‘Sprengeri’
has its dense fern-like foliage
which forms an arching mound that
matures to one to three feet (30½ 91½ cm) tall, spreading to three to
four feet (91½ - 122 cm) wide and
which can be trained to cascade
down from a hanging planter, or
to grow somewhat like a vine.
Upon first perusal of them one might
wonder about those needle-like
leaves. Actually, they are cladodes
which perform the necessary process
of the plants photosynthesis.
Its actual leaves are quite tiny,
scale-like and appear where the
cladode meets the stem.
Sprenger’s Asparagus is a
branching perennial with wiry green
stems that are sparsely covered
with clusters of three to four, ¾”
(1.9 cm) in size, cladodes along the
stem. They produce small white or
pinkish-white flowers in the spring,
followed by green berries that will
turn red by mid-winter and which
birds love!
Now if you are near a Sprenger’s
Fern please don’t read the following
out loud for fear of hurting its tender
feelings. This particular variety has
actually been declared a noxious
weed in the States of Florida,
Hawaii and in New Zealand.
But in locales like ours where we
enjoy and appreciate them, they,
like the more conventional ferns,
require the same basic care whether
grown indoors or out. They prefer
bright, indirect sun. Direct, hot
sunlight will scorch its needles.
Conversely, insufficient sunlight
will cause theme to yellow and drop
off. And, if given the choice, they
would prefer temperatures between
70 -75 degrees Fahrenheit (21 -24
Celsius) during the day and ten
degrees cooler at night.
Rich,
well-draining
(perhaps
slightly acidic) soil is its preferred
growing medium. It can tolerate
short periods of drought but thrives
when given plenty of water and
occasionally misted. While in its
growing mode it also likes a liquid allpurpose fertilizer. And remember that
easy to maintain fact? To maintain
the desired plant form, merely pinch
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
They produce small white or
pinkish-white flowers in the
spring, followed by green berries
that turn red with time.
What we commonly call
Asparagus Fern is, in fact,
neither asparagus nor fern.
Don’t try to eat them because
all parts have an unpleasant
toxicity.
back stem tips as needed to promote
dense foliage growth. Be aware that,
as a result of their developing large
tuberous roots, Asparagus Fern can
become pot-bound rather quickly.
While they will generally grow and
flower more in this condition, it is
imperative that they be given regular
drenchings of water. Beyond that,
plan on re-potting every three to
four years.
If pruning is necessary, cut the
entire stems back all the way to
the base of the plant rather than
November - 2014
merely shortening them. While
they have no major insect or disease
problems, Asparagus Ferns are
slightly susceptible to spider mites,
scale insects and mealy bugs. If an
infestation has gotten out of control,
simply cut off the stems all the way
back to the soil line and carefully
discard the infested foliage. New
stems will then rapidly grow back
from the bulbs.
They can develop yellow
needles for many different reasons,
including a change in light, rapid
temperature change, over watering,
under watering, and spider mites.
The easiest and fastest way to
propagate new Asparagus Ferns is
by division. Just slice the root ball
into half or quarter sections with a
sharp knife or pull the tubers apart
by hand. Asparagus Sprengeri
produces small bulblets which also
can be planted.
These plants are dioecious
(meaning that both male and female
plants must be present to produce).
If your plant has berries, you can
harvest a single seed from each one.
Remove the pulp and soak them in
room temperature water overnight.
Then plant them ½” (1¼ cm) deep
in a tray or pots. Strive to maintain a
temperature in the planting medium
at 70°-80° until the seeds germinate.
This takes about four weeks.
Tommy Clarkson
In Manzanillo, visit Ola Brisa Gardens,
Tommy and Patty’s verdant, multiterraced tropical paradise nestled on
a hill overlooking the magnificent vista
of Santiago Bay. Leisurely meander its
curved, paved path, experiencing, first
hand, a delicious array of palms, plants
and flowers from all over the world.
Or, e-mail questions to him at
olabrisa@gmail.com
For back issues of “Roots”, gardening tips,
tropical plant book reviews and videos of
numerous, highly unique eco/adventure/
nature tours, as well as memorable
“Ultimate Experiences” such a Tropical
Garden Brunches and Spa Services,
please visit www.olabrisagardens.com
ISSUE
315
Brain Teasers
Solution to Crossword
on Page 26
SUDOKU!
Sudoku is a logic-based placement puzzle.
The aim of the puzzle is to enter a numerical digit from 1 through 9 in each row,
column and group of squares enclosed by the bold lines (also called a box). Each
box must contain each number only once, starting with various digits given in some
cells (the “givens”). Each row, column, and region must contain only one instance of
each numeral. Completing the puzzle requires patience.
It is recommended as therapy because some studies have suggested they might
improve memory, attention and problem solving while staving off mental decline
and perhaps reducing the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
Solution to Sudoku on Page 26
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November - 2014
31
ISSUE
315
Saturday 8 to Friday 14
November - 2014