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Funded by an educational Grant from SCAVMA and the Student Unrestricted Donor Account
MAR
2012
THE CALIFORNIA WAGGIE
Since 2005 at the UC Davis School of Veterinar y Medicine
Finding a Mentor
Where’s my Poo Contest
By Vivian R. Wright
AVMA GHLIT UCD Representative
Whether you’ve already
landed your first position as a
veterinarian or if you’re still in
the midst of the job hunt, having
someone to turn to for professional advice and guidance is a
safety net no student should be
without.
Establishing a relationship
with an accomplished veterinarian who is willing and able to
serve as your mentor is one way
to help ensure you’re ready for
any situation. A mentor can provide you with valuable information that can’t be taught in the
classroom…and guide you down
the professional path based on
real-life experience.
Much of what I’m sharing
with you on how to successfully
identify a mentor, I gathered
from a presentation by Dr. James
Peddie, “Interviewing is a Two
Way Street,” available on the
AVMA Group Health & Life
Insurance (GHLIT) website. I
also referenced the American
Veterinary Medicine Association
(AVMA) and other DVM-focused websites and held conversations on the topic with my
spouse, William Wright, DVM,
and others who have mentored
new veterinarians over the years.
As stated by Dr. Peddie, the
most important thing to look for
when identifying a mentor is
finding someone with whom you
are comfortable talking. Your
mentor should be someone that
you can be open with about your
questions and concerns, however
trivial you may think they are.
Conversely, your mentor should
also feel comfortable guiding
you through tough situations.
This open communication
will result in the best possible
mentor-mentee relationship.
When looking for a mentor, it is also important to select
someone who is knowledgeable
in the veterinary field. The more
experience the better! Veterinarians who have worked in the
field for a number of years have
likely seen it all and will be able
to guide you through situations
based on their firsthand experience. Further, a strong mentor
will be knowledgeable on all
aspects of working in a practice,
from communicating with pet
owners to cultivating relationships with colleagues and practice staff.
For those of you with plans
to work in a highly specialized
field of veterinary medicine, it is
a good idea for your mentor to
work in the same field. They can
provide you with information
specific to your specialty.
But where does one find a
mentor that fits these specifications?
Becoming involved in one of
the veterinary medicine organizations is an excellent way to
see MENTOR, continued on page 2
Congratulations to Rebecca Pacheco (middle, holding poo plate)
and her poo-protracting assistants Joyce Wong and April Larson,
for finding the poo underneath Jadaan, the horse that Rudolph
Valentino rode in “The Son of the Sheik.” Jadaan is a bit thinner
than he was during the filming, and I suppose Valentino is too.
Yes, YOU can win the NEXT
Where’s My Poo Contest. In
case you didn’t read the Rules
in the last “Waggie,” here they
are again:
I’ll hide a fake latex poo
pile somewhere around the vet
school, which can include Valley
Hall, MPT, VM3A, Gourley, the
VMTH and associated buildings, Schalm Hall, etc.--either in
one of the buildings or perhaps
outdoors--and provide some
clues in the Waggie to help you
find my poo. Once you find my
poo, you will bring it back to me,
but that’s not all--there’s a learning objective here-- Attached to
the poo, quite literally, will be
3 parasitological questions that
you must answer correctly to win
the prize. You should already
know the answers IF you have
taken VMD405, but you (especially first year students who
won’t have had this experience)
are welcome to look up the
answers on the Internet or other
source, and then present them
when you bring my poo back to
me. Only one winner per edition
of the game; the first to bring me
the poo and answer the questions
correctly wins the prize. I will
then re-hide the poo in a new
spot and present new clues when
the next Waggie is issued, and
I’ll continue this crappy game
until: a) you get bored with it,
b) I get bored with it, or c) the
poo mysteriously disappears—
perhaps flushed by an attentive
custodian (ha!).
This month’s clue is a
numbers game. You need to spell
out a phrase, read from top to
see MYPOO, continued on page 8
Tacos, Page 2 • Templeton’s Wisdom, Page 8 • Hot or Not, Page 12
1
Erratum
The editors would like to
recognize that Dustin Dennis was
erroneously spelled as “Dennis Dustin” in the “Where’s my
Poo?” article of the past February issue. We apologize for our
grievous error and have assigned
a committee to conduct a formal
investigation on the matter.
There have also been several
blatant formatting errors throughout the year, and as penance,
the editors have committed to
monthly self flagellation in front
of the heart tree of the Arboretum. We hope this small gesture
will appease those of you who
were offended.
Our sincere thanks to those
who brought these mistakes to
light. Your input is critical to
making this process a success,
and we hope you will continue to
support The California Waggie.
Fauna
by Greg Bishop
www.faunacartoon.com
-Co-editors
The Davis Dish:
Street Tacos
By Liz Engall
Approved by Kelsey Brust
Amateur critics
Expert restaurant patrons
It is a cold winter night.
You have just left the warmth
of a downtown bar where you
were celebrating the joys of vet
school and Scott Lafey’s recent
emergence as a 15 year old girl.
But it is cold and dark outside,
and there is a growing emptiness
in your belly that beer isn’t able
to fill. Your stomach leads you
down a dark alley, but just when
it seems like the cold hunger will
overcome you, you happen upon
Street Taco Guy. Yup, you heard
me right. Street tacos in Davis.
Almost every Thursday,
Friday, and Saturday night since
the summer of 2011, a late night
culinary genius is on the street in
front of Cloud Forest Café with
his barbeque, cooking supplies,
and culinary assistant, making
Que rico!
fresh and delicious street tacos.
Even better news, they are
cheap. $1.25 each or 5 tacos for
$5, including carne asada,
pollo, and veggie (cheese-stuffed
grilled peppers that take a couple
extra minutes, but worth the wait
because he hand-stuffs a pepper
for you and puts it on the grill!).
Can you say,”legit?”
The bike ride home will
probably be long, cold, and dark,
but with a belly full of warm
deliciousness, the drunchies are
gone, and the world is again a
happy place :)
eaengall@ucdavis.edu
Official Factoid of the Month
The slow transport of sperm in the female genital tract is
responsible for providing fertilizing sperm to the oviduct!
2
MENTOR, continued from page 1
way to connect with potential
mentors. These organizations will
provide useful information on
veterinary medicine and will also
connect you with both a number
of up-and-coming and established
veterinarians in your community.
If you are already working
as a veterinarian, your place of
employment may be the best and
easiest place to find a mentor.
Aside from being available on
a daily basis, choosing a mentor who works by your side will
help you navigate through your
organization’s specific procedures
and politics, helping you transition
into your new job as smoothly as
possible.
Establishing a mentor relationships early on in your career
will not only help you to become a
better veterinarian, but will teach
you how to cultivate strong working relationships as you travel
down your career path. With a
mentor, you will always have a
trusted source to turn to when you
need information or advice as you
advance in your career.
The connections you make
now will follow you for years to
come! So make sure you are connecting with the right people now.
My spouse has been a DVM
for over 30 years, and his best
friend today is his original mentor,
Dr. Jack Walther, past president of
the AVMA and UCD grad.
vrlee@mindspring.com
(888) 234-6159
Pet Personals
Emily Isaacs tapped into animal whispering at a young age, which allows her to pass
these ads on to you. If your pets are on the dating market, send in their pictures and a
few fun facts to: ecisaacs@ucdavis.edu
“Penny” Lytle-Hoover
Looking for a little copper pocket change? Well I’m the Penny for
you! Whether it’s heads or tails you’re looking for, I’m one cute chi
whose romantic moves all make cents. Dream date: spooning on your
lap or lying together on cozy fluffy blankets. Likes: surprising people
with my many tricks (preferably on that comfy blanket), playing with
squeaky toys, cuddling with sister Breeze, Slutty Brownies. Dislikes:
my small bladder, Deb leaving me to go to class, wooden nickels.
“Dante” De Oliveira
Love my winning Yoda costume? Take me on a date and I might show
you my light saber (once you see it, let’s just say—may the force be
with you to reject a second date…). I’m a 1.5 year old dude whose
personality is a mix of Cartman and Stewie so you know I’m a laugh
to be around. Dream date: Exploring your galaxy far far away. Likes:
taking over the house, showing off my talents with mom Kat. Dislikes:
Extended hospital stays, long hairdresser appointments, all the Star
Wars nerds who flock to me.
“Diego” Brownlee
My name is Diego aka Diablo aka Fat Man. I’m an 8 year old DSH
who recently went on Jenny Craig to trim down so I need a fellow feline to appreciate my newly trim white and orange body! Dream date:
chasing mouse toys, feathers and lasers with you. Likes: Relaxing with
my lab Candie, taking extended naps while “studying“ (see my photo),
putting together vet club websites. Dislikes: All the mean nicknames
mom Rachel calls me, memorizing cerebral tracts.
“Kingsnakey” Liu
Hoping for a scaly gal who will slither her way into your heart? I’m a
3 year old Gray-Banded Kingsnake who just pulled a Sleeping Beauty
and stopped hibernating so I’m ready to get (my eggs) laid. I have the
physical agility of a gymnast without those obstructing appendages so
you know I’ll be a real good time. Help a lady out before it’s too late?
Dream date: Sharing a frozen hopper over a nice heating pad. Likes:
giving *really* tight hugs, ophiophagy, people who realize I’m loveable. Dislikes: having to share James’ love and affection with his 500
other reptiles (maybe if he focused just on me, he could pick a more
original name…).
“Liz” Stallings
I’m a tri-color feline who’s hoping to be your forever lady. Mom Mary
only uses my full-name when I’m naughty so call me “Elizabeth” all
night long and I’ll be one very bad girl. While I’m supposed to be an
indoor cat, I love escaping the house to explore the outdoors where I
can meet you for secret rendezvous. Dream date: long walks outside
under the full moon. Likes: strolling across keyboards while people are
typing (special typed note from me to you: “F2SJLK!J3A”). Dislikes:
fewer than 2100 square feet of my own space, being dressed up in silly
pumpkin costumes.
3
FREE FOR SAVMA MEMBERS, WHICH MEANS YOU!! SCAVMA
CORNER
SCAVMA Funding:
IMPORTANT DEADLINES
These deadlines apply to CLUBS and STUDENT COMPANY REPS. Questions? Email chrhaas@ucdavis.edu • May Funding Apps due by April 15th • No funding for the months of June-­August SCAVMA COMMITTEES
WORKING FOR YOU!
SCAVMA IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON THE FOLLOWING STUDENT BODY ISSUES. CONTACT cisander@ucdavis.edu IF YOU WISH TO BECOME INVOLVED IN THESE DISCUSSIONS! 1. CLUB ACTIVITIES REDUNDANCY WITH NEW AND OLD CURRICULUM 2. FUNDING OF MAJOR SYMPOSIA AND 3.
EVENTS – HOW CAN WE USE COMPANY DONATIONS MORE EFFICIENTLY? HCV POLICY: INCREASING UNDERSTANDING AND ACCESSIBILITY FOR REPS AND STUDENTS 2012 AVMA
CONVENTION 4
• FREE FOR SAVMA MEMBERS. All of our current UC Davis SCAVMA Members have been signed up with SAVMA (we do this automatically for you at the beginning of registration) LOCATION: SAN DIEGO, CA! WHEN: August 4-­7, 2012! • Must register by July 9th ! • MORE INFORMATION AT: http://www.avmaconvention.org
/avma12/public/enter.aspx XYZ
By David Kim
C o -E d i t o r
I was a pimply faced,
unbelievably shy 12-year-old
boy when I entered my first
woodwinds competition, and the
thought of having to perform in
front of a large group of people
had me nearly crapping my
pants. I can remember anxiously awaiting my turn. I got out
of my chair shaking as I made
the long trek to the front of the
room. My pianist gave me a
reassuring smile as I tuned my
clarinet, and then to the shock
of the spectators and judges, I
proceeded to play my prepared
pieces with my back turned
towards the audience. Needless
to say, I didn’t place. The trip
back home was long and silent
with my head hung low and eyes
downcast when I noticed that
in the chaos of getting ready
that morning, I had neglected
to zip up my zipper. I was left
wondering what was worse: my
costly faux pas or facing the
audience with my fly open.
Looking back, I can admit
that I was afraid of being judged
and let that fear hinder me from
showing myself. Anthony de
Mello, a Jesuit priest, put things
in perspective when he said,
“I’m going to write a book
someday, and the title will be
I’m an Ass, You’re an Ass.” I
spent so much time worrying
about how others would see
me, but what did it really matter
when I would have looked like
an idiot either way? I find this
quote more applicable now than
ever in an environment where
I am surrounded by geniuses
and academic expectations and
means are ridiculously high.
Before starting here, I wondered
how my fellow classmates
would perceive me, a nontraditional student with, to put
it lightly, a weak undergraduate
track record, but I pushed those
thoughts aside because I could
only be me.
Yet when we’re at school,
there appears to be a conflict
with that. I believe this partly
stems from the constant stress of
being professional, which seems
to focus a lot more on the end
product of receiving our DVMs
rather than our journey getting
there. But we shouldn’t let this
emphasis completely dictate
how we act in fear of being criticized by others, especially when
we’re in this together. I don’t
know about you, but I didn’t
crawl around in the grass blindfolded, looking for a lousy piece
of rope during orientation, to do
this thing alone. Sure, we will
be vets soon enough, but we’re
also students, bound to look silly
from time to time or in my case,
daily. So in my short time here,
whether it’s in the clinics or on
the dance floor, I’m going to
embrace my inner ass and show
it to the world!
Given my penchant for poop
among other things, I realize
I don’t have the most credible
opinion, but to me, part of being
professional is having the confidence to go balls out even if I
may be wrong and learning from
it. I went on to win that music
competition a few years later,
but I never did get the hang of
remembering to check my zipper. Thank God for scrubs.
dshkim@ucdavis.edu
Overheards
By Maggie Lin
E av e s d r o p p e r
“Even in a blocked cat, we
should not see a bladder here.”
-Dr. Spriet, regarding a mass in
the lung
“Case 2. Losing weight for 1
month. I wish.”
-2nd year, reading aloud in lab
“What happens if you cross a
giraffe and a porcupine? What
kind of progeny would you get?...
Barbed wire!...I suppose it would
work with a snake and a porcupine, but I thought I would stick
with mammals.”
-Dr. Guedes in response to a
request that he tell a joke.
“You will have to ask Dr. Conley
about that. I have no idea how
Dr: Burton: “Each inch of banana
humans reproduce.”
has 1 mmol of K.”
-Dr. Rowe
Female 2nd year: “I want all the
inches of that banana!”
“It’s not invasive. You just stick
your arm up her butt and poke a “Hey girl, you’re pretty good at
few things.”
dancing.... you wanna be in my
-2nd year regarding uterine
music video?”
examination
-Anonymous creeper at KetMo
“If you’re hacking up a lung,
that’s not allergies.”
-2nd year regarding a sick classmate in denial
reach the food.
Student #2: She would eat her
arm off. Yo mama so fat, she
would never stop eating long
enough to get hepatic lipidosis.
“The huggies have to be a certain
size or else it will dribble down
Heard something inappropriate
their chubby little legs!”
or professionally unacceptable
-Anonymous
lately? Send your quotes to:
“Yo momma’s like a wetlab. Ev- mglin@ucdavis.edu
erybody’s getting experience!
-2nd year
Student #1: Yo mamma so fat,
she has hepatic lipidosis.
Student #2: No, she would have
to stop eating to get that.
Student #1: She so fat she can’t
5
A Mild March Theme
By Thea (I can’t believe this is my study break) Lambert
tclambert@ucdavis.edu
Answers on Page 10
Across:
4. Spotlight: SCAVMA VP who
patiently answers all our clubrelated conundrums.
7. What sneaked up on me at the
end of this quarter, is making me
panic and made this crossword
puzzle a last minute project.
10. What the very professionally
dressed visitors wandering in
Valley are currently experiencing.
13. The title of the highly anticipated book to movie adaptation
released this month.
Down:
1. The one week (a little less for
first years) all of us are dying
6
to get to (especially 2nd years)
after this quarter (again – not so
much for 1st years).
2. Nonny tidbit: Her favorite
vegetarian snack upon which
she grazes with alarming frequency and yet never throws it
up. (Hint: you mow it)
3. That March holiday that is
driving force behind green beer
and a reason for vet students to
get hammered.
4. What the 3rd years face
in just a few months!!! Holy
smokes!!!
5. Established pop music icon
that is building up to releasing a
new record later this month and
reinventing herself…again.
6. It’s that time of season – OKP
is about to be inundated with
these!
8. My most bizarre Facebook
Scrabble word that is known as
a monetary unit of Zambia equal
to one hundredth of a kwacha
(not kidding – it was in the
Scrabble dictionary).
9. What the 2nd years are starting to think about, need to have
set by December-ish and will
help make their 4th year amazing!
11. Event put on by 2015ers to
display the wacky, the weird,
the talented (and the publicly
acceptable) of vet school and
includes everyone’s favorite vet
school entertainment – Ken and
his band!
12. Knows pretty much everything about poo and parasites
and occasionally speaks in a
Southern twang.
IM Sports Update
By Hey-Scott-We-got-an-IM-Shirt
Sports Reporter
Despite the dreary winter
quarter, there have been some
very exciting developments in
the sports world with a focus
on futbol. Here is the exclusive
on two of the top indoor soccer
teams that went on to win their
respective divisions.
Animal Crackers, captained
by Jenny Gorman (2014) and
coached by Michelle Morelos,
following her horrific ankle
injury and subsequent demotion,
went 5-1-1 in the Men’s Grad/
Staff League, and beat the previously undefeated team 3-2 in the
finals.
Animal Crackers (6-1) also
Animal Crackers
played in the CoRec Grad/Staff
league and went undefeated in
the regular season, only to face
The Noodicals (5-2), the third
year team captained by Emily
Miller, in a vicious finals match
that displayed their long standing
and heated rivalry.
The Noodicals came back
down from 0-2 to go up 4-2 before winning it 4-3. However, if
you take away Jon Dickson and
his adorable hipsterness, Animal
Crackers actually won 3-0.
Congratulations to both
teams!
The Noodicals
Support Mercer Veterinary Clinic by ordering apparel! Many styles, colors and sizes available Go to http://tinyurl.com/mercerorder to place your order by April 6th 7
MYPOO, continued from page 1
bottom, that will guide you to the poo; note the spaces between words.
The blanks along the left margin need to be filled in with letters of
the alphabet. Use the clue next to each blank to find the letter corresponding to its position in the alphabet (1=A, 2=B, ect … 26=Z) . For
example, the first letter of the 6th word of the phrase is an “S” because
Charles Dickens was a 19th century author, and S is the 19th letter of
the alphabet.
___ # periods in an ice hockey game (=___)
___# of balls in a game of 8-Ball, excluding cue ball (=___)
___ major bad luck number (=___)
___ sides of a pentagon (=___)
Space
___ legal age to drink on Guam (=___)
___ “Sweet (blank)” (=___)
Space
___”We’re No. (blank)!” (=___)
___ # pounds in a stone (=___)
___ Johannes Brahms composed this many symphonies (=___)
Space
___ Atomic number of S (=___)
___ Homophone of “won” (=___)
___ a dozen (=___)
___ # ounces in a British pound (=___)
___ an integer divided by itself (=___)
___ the number of children J.S. Bach fathered (=___)
___ Kings’ John Salmons wears this no. (=___)
Space
___ age that a Jewish boy becomes a man (=___)
___ J,K and L share this numbered button on most phones’ keypads
(=___)
Space
_S_ Charles Dickens was a (blank) th century author (=19)
___ legal marriage age for women (girls?) in Niger (=___)
___# of stars on Betsy Ross’ flag (=___)
___ I-(blank)links the cities of Seattle, Sacramento & San Diego
(=___)
___ Andrew Jackson appears on the (blank) dollar bill (=___)
___ # of planets in our solar system… up until a few years ago (=___)
___ # of people attending the Last Supper (=___)
___ You should have been born with this many toes (=___)
Space
___ other than the batter, the # of players on Wrigley field (=___)
___ # of lines in a sonnet (=___)
Space
___ # cards in each suit of a deck (=___)
___ # pawns in a chess set (=___)
___ # ounces in a Venti from Starbucks (=___)
Note: Robin will be on poo-vacation in Ireland until March 26th; if
you’ve found THE poo before then, hold off on bringing it back to him
until March 26.
-Robin Houston, 1130B MPT (754-0138) and 1013 VMTH (752-3280)
Learned over Time
By Templeton the Rat
Avid Glutton
My wisdom is limited, but this is what I do know after 1 year and 1 quarter and half of a quarter.
1. Rank one probably sounds great, but 40 other people probably share that title.
2. When a group of you hang out with non-vet students, you realize that vet students talk about nothing other than vet school.
3. You will probably be in therapy by the end of winter quarter second year or earlier.
4. If you’re going to complain about your classmates on facebook, chances are they will probably see it.
5. You realize you’ve been having more than the recommended serving of carbs – in beer.
6. Ironically, you will not have time for your pets because you spend all of your time learning how to take care of other people’s pets.
7. In dealing with stress, you will either become really buff or really obese.
8. In expressing your concerns about the future of the old curriculum, prepare to hear about how amazing the new curriculum is.
9. You know it’s finals week when you walk into the room and 80% of your classmates look really scary without makeup on.
10. If you want to start an uproar, sit in a different seat in lecture or bring up the Smoker.
8
Easter
By Jimmy Rose
Staff Wr i te r
I know we’re all wrapped
up in school, looking forward to
Spring Break, and oh yeah, Easter
is coming up. It’s not until April
8th, and some of us may chow
down some candy that day, but I
wanted to write in the Waggie a
little reminder that Easter Sunday
actually commemorates one of
history’s most amazing stories.
Mary was just a common gal
who had a crush on Joseph when
she claimed an angel snuck into
her bedroom and told her she was
pregnant. Being a virgin, that was
obviously some bizarre miracle.
She stuck to her story and delivered Jesus while using a livestock
barn for a hotel. Joseph scooped
some grain out of the feed trough
(manger) and put the newborn in
it for a crib while Wise men from
distant lands (who got to Jesus
by following a bright star across
vast deserts) laid gold and other
stuff down on the hay as gifts.
Something was definitely different about that baby. As a boy,
young Jesus would amble into
synagogues and lay some parables
down that humbled the wisest of
men. At the age of 30, he put his
carpenter’s tools back in their box
and became a traveling Rabbi.
He’d never attended any fancy
college or theological seminary,
but spoke sermons that were so
fantastic they are still quoted in
every corner church you can find.
I’m not trying to get you into a
church on Easter Sunday. You
can read His stuff in what’s, by a
landslide margin, the #1 bestselling book of all time: the Bible.
According to it, when Jesus rolled
into a town, he drew crowds in
the thousands. They never got
tired of hearing his stories, stayed
as long as he would - even if that
meant he had to pull miracles like
multiplying a few fish and loaves
of bread into an all-you-can-eat
buffet, he’d teach for everyone
who’d listen.
So who was he really? By
what power did he perform
miracles in public like healing the
blind, curing folks with leprosy,
and even raising the dead back
to life? That’s a strange fella,
and after a few years of his show,
skeptics who couldn’t debunk the
man became haters and decided
he had to go. They tried, but no
court of law could convict him
of any crime, so Pontius Pilate,
the Governor of Judea, worked
a deal to exchange the sentence
of a death row inmate named
Barabbas to execute Jesus instead.
Many people expected another
miracle; some even taunted him
to save himself rather than just
bleeding-out on the cross they’d
nailed him to. Here’s where the
story gets really interesting.
Obviously he died, but three days
later guards at his tomb said his
body somehow came up missing; hence, the original Easter
Sunday. Allegedly, he appeared
to his disciples and several other
people, claimed to have defeated
death, and was going to prepare
a place in Heaven for those who
believe. So was Jesus really God
in the flesh who walked among
men and then returned to Heaven?
I actually do believe that, and a
few years ago, I portrayed Him
in an Easter morning reenactment
(picture attached).
I heard a song on the radio
that made me think, heck if it’s all
true and someday I get the chance
to stand before the creator of the
universe and all of life’s imponderables, I’d like to ask him
something tough, like explaining
a dimension that has no known
answer. Maybe I could ask Him
just how far the East is from
the West. He’d probably smile
and say it’s equal to the distance
from one of His scarred hands to
the other. After all, He is Jesus
Christ.
It’s not possible to prove
God’s existence, but that can’t be
the standard for belief. In fact, it
is equally impossible to prove He
doesn’t exist. In the end, whether
you believe or don’t believe, your
position is based on faith.
jimrose@ucdavis.edu
9
An Appeal to Fellow
Type-A Nutjobs
Hello my brethren. People may call you crazy, call
you too uptight, and a myriad
of other less-than-flatteringthings, but hey man, I get you.
We just care about our grades
right? I mean, who can punish us for that? But there are
some things that maybe you
and I need to be reminded of
from time to time- let’s take a
walk down memory lane, so
follow me if you will.
Over these past few
weeks, looking around at
all the interviewees in their
unfortunate pantsuits, do you
remember how utterly freaked
out you were and how you
would have done anything
(ANY. THING.) to get into
this school, into this class?
Oh, I know you felt that way.
And when you got that letter?
Overwhelming joy and subsequent fierce pride for your
school, your future profession,
and your life accomplishments
in general.
Now that we’ve been
reminded of a time when we
didn’t complain about literally
every aspect of veterinary
school and resent professors
who are too [insert any quality
ever exhibited by any human
being ever at all ever], I’m going to introduce you to words
to live by: WIUTTWFT?
Ya, I know you love the
hell out of learning tools like
the acronym above, which
obviously stands for, “Would
I Use This Tone With Fern
Tablin?”
I’m going to hazard a
guess and say that, in most
cases, no we would not. Dr.
Tablin is one of the most
highly respected professors by
the students of our school, and
as a general badass, she is not
attacked in her class, her test
questions are not scrutinized
beyond the point of all reason,
and no one would ever be
heard talking smack about her
during passing periods. It’s a
shame that we do not afford
that same respect to each of
our professors, all of whom
are equally deserving.
So when we act ridiculously and forget how lucky,
nay, privileged we are to have
even been given the opportunity to answer a 2-point
question incorrectly on an
exam, it’s doing ourselves a
disservice. Those people in the
unfortunate pantsuits? They
would kill for that opportunity; they would love to have
been able to miss those points.
So the next time we have the
urge to fly off the handle in
a way that we may regret in
later days, we should pause
and think, “WIUTTWFT?”
Yours in shared Myers-Briggs
Type,
A Fellow Type-A Nutjob
Davis Crime Watch
Name: Connie Lo
Age: 23
Ethnicity: Taiwanese
Height: 5’3
Affiliations: SCAVMA treasurerelect, Mercer volunteer coordinator, IVO VP, and much muchmore...
Name: Christine Hsueh
Age: 24
Ethnicity: Taiwanese
Height: 5’4
Affilations: SAVMA rep, Sx club
Secretary/Treasurer, CMC symposium coordinator, and much
much more...
At a cursory glance, Connie Lo and Christine Hsueh
seem similar enough. They
share a similar ancestry, have
plenty of leadership experience,
and are well-versed in killing
a man (the former in archery
and the latter in Taekwondo).
Yet these superficial overlaps
have caused more than few
students to mistake one for the
other, leaving the two victims
with a sense of helplessness,
anger, and betrayal. At the end
of the day, one has to wonder
if these mistakes are simply an
innocent mix up or imply an
inability to distinguish between
yellow undertones.
Yet who is really at fault
here? The pair certainly does
not make it easy to tell one
from the other. They live to-
gether, sit next to each other in
class, and are even involved in
the same clubs. And with those
hard scientific facts, it’s hard to
see how anyone could not be
confused. To play the race card
is an effortless cop out, but
how hard would it be for these
two to distinguish themselves
from each other, making it
easier on everyone else.
So who is the true offender? Is it one or the other? Or
are both parties at fault in violating and abusing UC Davis’
Hate-Free Campus Initiative?
Regardless of the answer, the
more important question remains. Who is the real panda?
Or is it just one person? We
leave this to you, the Waggie
reader, to decide.
Questions? Complaints? Good soup recipes?
Send em over to the editors at:
Lea Mehrkens - leamehrkens@ucdavis.edu
David Kim - dshkim@ucdavis.edu
Crossword Answers: Across 4. CJ 7. Finals 10. Interviews 13. TheHungerGames Down 1. SpringBreak 2. Grass 3. StPatricksDay 4. Clinics
5. Madonna 6. Kittens 8. Ngwee 9. Externship 11. TalentShow 12.
RobinHouston
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Dear Sartorius J.O.E
Your trustworthy guide to all of life’s problems
Sartorious J.O.E.-
help. Back off and be yourself.
Well, unless you are a selfish,
Some of my classmates are
conceited, female dog. You might
always asking teachers questions want to put on the face of a nice
and keeping teachers late to do
person… since you actually need
so. What are they doing, why are to do this for the rest of your life
they doing this?
if you want to be a successful
vet. Nice trumps a lot of things.
Well, there are different posRemember that.
sibilities for this. One such
possibility is that they actually
Precious, precious J.O.E,
have questions and are trying
to learn. This possibility is the
I was at a social function a few
most reasonable and best reason weeks ago, and having had a
for students to ask questions
few drinks, I was well on my
but is likely not the reason your way to true happiness. I had just
classmates are doing so. The
popped open a can of PBR (I
more likely reason for their
was beyond taste at this point)
question asking is to try and get when I caught the eye of a
the teacher to “know“ them, so wench who looked disapprovthey can get a letter of reference ingly at my choice and judged
from them later on when apme to an eternity in Gehenna.
plying for jobs and internships. What would have been the
This is abysmal, bad form, rude, proper and professional choice
and deceitful. Most of the teach- of action in this situation?
ers can see through this, and
while they are willing to answer -Ihatehipsters
the questions in the hope the offending students really just want The proper and professional
to learn, they are remembering
choice? Professional has gone
these students but not in the way clean out the window in this
they are hoping.
establishment. Slap that judgSo for all of you students that
mental judger and do what you
are trying to get letters of refer- want be crazy.
ence, just remember being able
to scratch the back of the teach- Dear Sartorious Joe,
er’s uvula with your nose doesn’t I would like to do the infamous
Plum Island summer externship
during the inevitable upcoming
zombocalypse. I think it’s pretty
obvious that with the typical
vesicular lesions of the average
zombie combined with widespread gas gangrene, the zombie
virus is actually Zoonotic
Zombie Vesicular Disease (I’m
guessing a picorna because zombies never seem to wear many
clothes) with a concurrent case
of full-body blackleg. Anyways,
for scientific purposes, should I
try to be allowed to experimentally infect farm animals with
ZZVD at the same time I’m
innoculating adorable farm
animals with the other vesicular
diseases? Don’t worry, I won’t
forget my cricket bat.
to become a well-rounded doctor?
GOD NO. A cricket bat? Really?
Where are we, London? Bring
a dang baseball bat. Come on,
we a‘Merican. And why would
you want to infect farm animals?
Just inoculate cats. No one really cares about them.
-Slayer in Schalm
What is your take on classes
that you don’t *have* to take
for your track, but that sound
interesting? Is it worth the extra
stress and time commitment to
take them in the never-ending
quest for veterinary knowledge
Do you need some advice?
Questions can be sent to:
Sincerely: Take ALL the Classes
Audit, Audit, Audit. Learn
without tests! Better than trying
to memorize the “most Important thing you will learn in vet
school” but will never actually
need in the real world.
I am almost positive that Austin
Kerns is in fact a vampire, and
yet I can’t prove it. Do you think
I should do the garlic-mirror test,
which has a low sensitivity and
specificity, or just go ahead and
rid humanity of this dark being?
Thanks J.O.E.,
Try the garlic and mirror, but
stab him with a wooden stake for
good measure. He needs to go
anyway, always screwing up the
curve.
jsquinlan@ucdavis.edu
Liliaceaeoma
By Alina Kelman
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