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Halloween and the Adopted
Child: A Costume is More than
It Appears
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“BULLIED” WINS BOOK AWARD!
By Carrie Goldman, October 12, 2012 at 12:30 pm
There is a curious pattern to
almost all of the characters
that my daughter Katie has
chosen for her Halloween
costumes.
At age three, she wanted to
be Superman. At age four,
she dressed up as Hermione
Granger from the Harry
Potter series. At age five,
she was Hermione again. At
age six, she paraded around
as Princess Leia. As a
seven-year-old, she held
court as Queen Lucy from
Narnia. At age eight, she was
once again Princess Leia.
TOP 25 BOOK AUTHOR MOMS
All of her characters have been heroic in nature. They have magical
powers or the ability to do things that regular mortals cannot. And none of
them have had strong biological parental figures.
Superman, her first hero, was adopted. He saves people from disaster
time and again. Hermione is a brilliant young woman who has magical
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powers, unlike her parents. Hermione helps Harry save the wizarding
world from Lord Voldemort. Princess Leia was adopted and is a leader in
the rebellion against the evil galactic Empire. Lucy is a young girl who was
sent away from her parents during World War II and discovers a magical
land where she is destined to be a good queen.
Katie, who is well aware that she was adopted, has never wanted to dress
up as a duck or a fairy or a pumpkin. Nor does she want to be a puppy or a
kitten. And certainly not a ghoul, a vampire, a mean witch or a goblin. She
is not interested in bloody makeup or scary masks.
From the time she was old enough to express her wishes, she has wanted
to dress up as superhuman characters that have a history of being
separated from their birth parents.
Coincidence? I think not.
It is not uncommon for adopted children to fantasize about their birth
families. Every child yearns to be special and different, but this need can
be magnified with a child who was placed for adoption. I think Katie’s
choice of Halloween costumes reflects a subconscious fantasy about who
she is and what she will become.
She does not want to dress up as someone scary or evil, because she
already fears abandonment and rejection. She is terrified of the possibility
that she is “bad” and has no interest in putting a face to the fear. Katie’s
dream is to discover that she has secret powers, that she is not just good
but superhuman. She wants to save the day and earn the love and praise
of everyone.
But this year, there has been a change to the pattern, and I was thrown for
a loop in my theories about Halloween and my adopted child. Katie told
me, in no uncertain terms, that she wanted to be a Stormtrooper.
A bad guy! Was this a fundamental change in her views? Was this about
her pre-adolescent rebellion? I was fascinated.
And then Katie told me why she wants to be a Stormtrooper. “I want to
stick up for the Star Wars fans who were picked on for dressing in their
costumes at the Star Wars convention. They stood up for me, so I’ll stand
up for them.”
Katie is referring to the Great Star Wars Cyberbullying Incident of 2012,
when a news station in Miami made the mistake of running a slideshow of
photos of Star Wars fans that contained cruel, mocking captions. The news
station ultimately took down the slideshow and apologized.
It all made sense to me. And, in Katie’s mind, the Stormtroopers are the
heroes of the 501st. As an added bonus, Katie is thrilled with the idea that
she is bucking gender norms yet again by wearing a costume traditionally
associated with boys.
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30 ADOPTION PORTRAITS IN 30 DAYS – 2012
For the second straight year, in honor of
November being National Adoption
Awareness Month, Portrait of an Adoption
is running a special series called 30
Adoption Portraits in 30 Days. Designed to
give a voice to the many different
perspectives of adoption, this series will
feature guest posts by adoptees, birth
parents, adoptive parents, waiting
adoptive parents, and foster parentsturned-adoptive parents. Painful and
beautiful, these stories will bring you a
deeper understanding of what adoption
looks like, allowing you to appreciate the
many brushstrokes that comprise a family
portrait.
Nov. 1: I Never Told Any of My Friends
About My Sons. By Cindy Williams
Nov. 2: Why Do I Have To Be Adopted? By
Jessie Bishop Powell
Nov. 3: We Realized That We Couldn't
Wait Any Longer By Michelle Mercurio
Nov. 4: Lessons Learned from An
Imaginary Redhead By Elisabeth O'Toole
Nov. 5: Clark's Voice By Jay D. Lenn
Nov. 6: I Am That Baby By Tab Curtis
Nov. 7: My Cell Phone Rang: Could I Come
Pick Up the Baby? By Gina Sampaio
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Five-year-old Annie Rose told me, “Katie cannot wait to go to school and
then take off her bucket head to reveal that she is a girl!” Two-year-old
Cleo, who idolizes Katie, was planning to dress up as Yoda, but now she
wants to be “Stomtwoopah.”
Nov. 8: I Was Just A Regular Fifteen-Year-
We have a perfect record for Katie dressing up as characters that she
perceives to be heroes and heroines. My theory (as it pertains to my child)
is still intact for now.
Nov. 10: A Letter to My Son's Birth
Find Carrie on Facebook
Marianna
Old Girl By Haley
Nov. 9: I Couldn't Understand Why They
Got to Go Home and I Didn't. By Amy
Guimond
Mother By Merrin Donahue
Nov. 11: Stop Asking Adopted Kids If We
Want To Find Our Real Parents. By
Nov. 12: Why A Loving Parent Raises a
Child's Expectations in Life. By Exavier
Find Carrie on Twitter
Pope
Nov. 13: The Grief in Knowing I Will
Never Be Called Mom. By an Anonymous
Birthmother
Filed under: Uncategorized
1
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6
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467
Nov. 14: We Were Told to Leave Nina in
the Playroom, All by Herself, and Depart.
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13 comments
Add a comment
Nov. 30: I Had My Mother's Name! By
Chad Cottle
Gina Canady
Please tell Katie thank you from us. She is going to make one heck of a Lady
Stormtrooper! ♥ :D
FACEBOOK PAGE FOR PORTRAIT OF AN
Stormtrooper TK1548, 501st Legion.
Reply ·
9 · Like · October 16, 2012 at 3:04pm
Portrait Of An Adoption
Allisha Price Larsen
Like
My daughter, Brittanie, has been trooping with the 501st for about a year and a
half. She has Scout Trooper armor and has a blast. One of our favorite moments
was last year at a Halloween event when a teenage girl came up and asked to
feel her muscles. Britt lifted her bucket off her head as replied "You do know I'm
a girl right?" Hysterical. So Miss Katie, you go girl. All the girl troopers are behind
you...and their Moms too.
Reply ·
6,854 people like Portrait Of An Adoption.
6 · Like · October 16, 2012 at 3:35pm
Kevin Skiera · TK-9336 at 501st Midwest Garrison
No one is ever too young to make a difference, or be a stormtrooper. Kidos
Katie!
-PFC Skiera, Kevin R. US Army/ TK-9336, Midwest Garrison, 501st Legion.
Reply ·
Tweets by @cmgsart
5 · Like · October 16, 2012 at 7:06pm
Romain Harlock Rousse ·
Top Commenter
MEET THE BLOGGER
Exactly ! Keep up with your dreams and spray the fun everywhere ;)
TK-3375, French Garrison
Reply ·
1 · Like · October 17, 2012 at 12:03pm
Heidi Henning
Awesome! Katie is an intelligent and compassionate young lady. Sounds like
Halloween will be an exciting venture! And yay for non traditional gender roles
for costumes! I am dressing up as Hawkeye from the Avengers. (:
Reply ·
3 · Like · October 14, 2012 at 9:22am
Christopher Marino · Monrovia, California
I love your articles and as someone who was adopted I love reading about Katie
she really is an amazing girl. For her being a Stormtrooper for Halloween there
just cool.
Reply ·
3 · Like · October 12, 2012 at 12:19pm
Bruce Ellis · Works at Warrior Author and Druid Knight
In some religions Halloween is seen as a time to dress to express those things
you wish to bring out in yourself in the future. That being the case it appears
that Katie has made some great choices.
Reply ·
2 · Like · October 12, 2012 at 1:06pm
Brian Held Jr · Delgado CC
Mini Trooper costume article mid way down the page - http://www.tk409.com/
tk409.html.
Good luck on being a Stormtrooper, I know I enjoy being one. ;)
TK-9855
Reply ·
1 · Like · October 16, 2012 at 5:44pm
Karrie Tyler · University of New Orleans
how awesome is that!
Reply · Like · October 16, 2012 at 9:03pm
Maria Krogstrup Hareskov ·
Top Commenter · Danmarks Biblioteksskole,
Aalborg
Personally I always wanted to be a snowtrooper (when it comes to the Imperial
side). ;) Some day I will be. It's a promise I have made to myself. But my
childhood hero was also Princess Leia; she showed that women could be strong
leaders and heroes, and I just fell in love with her spirit. :) Leia is a fighter. I
think Katie is a fighter, too.
Reply ·
1 · Like · October 12, 2012 at 12:28pm
Kim Z. Dale ·
Top Commenter · Author/ Writer at Listing Toward Forty
Carrie Goldman
I am a writer and artist living
north of Chicago. My husband
Andrew and I have three
daughters -- Katie, Annie Rose
and Cleo. My first book, which
is an exploration of bullying,
will be published by Harper Collins in 2012.
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I was Darth Vader when I was in grade school. I guess I'm just evil. (I was
nugget-head Leia a few years later, so perhaps I was reformed.) I love all of
Katie's costume choices. I just hope she's not the Stormtrooper who hits his
head on the door What a dork!
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