WHO’S BIGGEST NUT JOB IN POP CULTURE? By Gino Bona February 18, 2003 Gatorade launched its brilliant "Be Like Mike" advertising campaign 12 years ago, and it had millions of Americans singing the same tune. We wanted Michael Jordan's good looks, his guaranteed contract, his sick vertical leap. But as MJ spends another new day as a 40-something, two other famous people—who happen to share Jordan's first name—are going toe-to-toe for the undisputed title of "Biggest Nut Job in Pop Culture." We're talking about Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson. While these celebrities couldn't be further opposites on the exterior, their careers have shared a common pattern over the past 20 years. Both Tyson and Jackson reached the pinnacle of their popularity in the '80s, plummeted into dire times in the '90s, and have spent the first couple years of the new millennium as undeniable weirdos. Of course, both have had their share of controversy, too. Tyson is on the verge of snapping like a Slim Jim during every fight and interview. Meanwhile, the word "allegedly" hangs over Jackson's head like an umbrella on a sunny day. These days, the catchy chorus of "Be Like Mike" should carry a parental warning. Nickname Trademark move Net worth Career highlight MICHAEL JACKSON “King of Pop” Moonwalk Depends on who you ask “Thriller” How they describe themselves Comfort food Was teased as a child for… Is teased as an adult for… “I’m Peter Pan” Snow cones Having a huge nose Acting like a child. Current foe Likes to throw Facial adjustments Martin Bashir Water balloons Nose hanging by a thread MIKE TYSON “King of Pain” Profanity-laced tantrums Ask Robin Givens Thrilling 91-second thumping of Michael Spinks “I’m Sonny Liston” Ears Talking like Cindy Brady Are you crazy?! We’re not teasing Mike. The flu (according to his promoter) Right hooks African tribal tattoo What he has in common with normal people What he’s looking forward to Favorite pet Memphis connection Reckless behavior What they wish they could borrow from each other Favorite activity with children Worst beating Authority figure who didn’t do quite enough Las Vegas craving Lies about how much money he has Hasn’t been to the gym in a while Fox airing “Michael Jackson Take 2: The Interview They Wouldn’t Show You” 12-year-old Gavin Married Elvis Presley’s daughter Playing “Dangle Doodle Dandy” over hotel balconies Tyson’s enviable falsetto Fox airing “Michael Jackson Take 2: The Interview They Wouldn’t Show You” Those damn pigeons Only place that lets him box Live press conferences Wants to share his bed with ‘em From Dad after messing up a dance routine Liz Taylor Bizzaro shopping sprees Startling transformation From black man to white hermaphrodite It’s a shame that… Macauley Caulkin’s too old now Career low point Stay tuned Prince Michael II’s chiffon scarf to cover up the new ink Wants to eat ‘em (Tie) Buster Douglas, Evander Holyfield, Lennox Lewis Cus D’Amato The Nevada State Athletic Commission to reconsider From the youngest heavyweight nd champ to America’s 2 -most beloved cannibal Tonya Harding’s pro debut will be delayed Ditto --------Gino Bona continually strives for rock bottom on his "Wink & The Gun" site, which can be reached at www.winkandthegun.com. E-mail him at gino@winkandthegun.com.