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Stop thinking,
start writing:
our personal statement writing guide
This guide has been written with the help of
admissions selectors at the University of Essex – the
people who make the decisions! As well as useful tips
and general advice, a sample personal statement has
been written for each subject area. These are not
model answers as they all have particular strengths
and weaknesses. The aim is that you become familiar
with the content and look of a personal statement.
What is a personal statement?
Your UCAS personal statement is your opportunity to
explain to universities why you have applied for the
course(s) that you want to study. You need to
demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment, and
convince the admissions selectors that you would be
an asset to their institution. Remember that the
admissions selector reading your statement is an
academic in your chosen area of interest, and will
therefore want to know why you chose the subject
and wish to study it at a higher level.
As you may have difficulty knowing where to start,
many of the sample statements in this guide begin
with reasons for choosing the course, then back this
up with examples from current study or research the
applicant has done into the course, and related
careers. Applicants then continue with
extra-curricular activities, and end by summarising
why their experiences and knowledge have led them
to choosing this course. Although this is not a set
structure for a personal statement, it may be a useful
starting point when you begin drafting yours.
It is always a good idea to relate back to the course
and the fact that you would like to progress to higher
education throughout your personal statement. After
all, you are writing this document to give yourself the
best chance of getting offers from all your chosen
courses, so you shouldn’t lose sight of this!
Even the best personal statements in this book have
weak points; no one is expecting perfection.
Remember that universities are mainly interested in
your enthusiasm for the course you are applying for
and your potential to do well. You should try to display
this in your personal statement as strongly as you can.
What should I write about?
Writing about yourself is not something that you do
often, so you may need to practise writing in this
particular style. Although your statement should be
tailored to the particular subject area you want to
study, and the majority of it should cover why you
have chosen your course, there are certain points that
you should include like:
n the reasons why that subject area interests you;
n aspects of your current studies that relate to the
course(s) that you have chosen;
n why you think you would be a good student;
n details of jobs, placements, work experience or
voluntary work which you have undertaken,
particularly if it has relevance to your chosen field;
n hobbies, interests and social activities that
demonstrate you are a well-rounded person;
n non-accredited qualifications, like the Duke of
Edinburgh Award Scheme;
n any other achievements that you are proud of,
eg reaching grade three piano or being selected
for the county cricket team;
n positions of responsibility that you hold both in and
out of school, eg form prefect or representative for
a local charity;
n attributes that make you interesting, special or
unique; and
n whether you have any future plans of how you
want to use your degree, and the knowledge and
experience that you will gain.
Remember that you only write one personal
statement for all your university choices so try to
allow some consistency in your course choices. If you
are applying for a joint course, you will need to
explain why you are interested in both aspects of a
joint programme.
Dos and don’ts when constructing your personal statement
Do
Don’ts
Do brainstorm your ideas on paper before attempting
to write anything.
Don’t feel that you must use fancy language. If you try
too hard to impress with long words that you are not
confident using, the focus of your writing may be lost.
Do check university websites as they may provide
information about what they are looking for from
applicants.
Do aim to use about five paragraphs, making sure
that each one flows in a logical way.
Do expect to produce several drafts before being
totally happy.
Do ask friends and family for their feedback.
Do ensure that you use your best English and don’t
let silly spelling and grammar mistakes spoil your
statement.
Do be enthusiastic – you can have perfect grades,
hundreds of extra-curricular activities and be a really
great person but if admissions selectors feel you
aren’t passionate about your course, you won’t get a
place.
Don’t try to be funny as it is a risk: admissions tutors
may not share your sense of humour!
Don’t lie – if you stretch the truth you may get caught
out at interview when you are asked to elaborate on
an interesting achievement.
Don’t copy someone else’s personal statement or
‘borrow’ chunks from existing personal statements.
UCAS uses similarity detection software which can
detect when a personal statement is not someone’s
original work, and your application will be returned to
you if this is the case.
Don’t rely on a spellchecker – proof read as many
times as possible.
Don’t leave it to the last minute – you won’t give the
best impression of yourself if you scribble your
statement down without thinking about what you are
saying.
page 1
How do I start?
If you’re not sure where to start, use the boxes below to gather information that you would like to include in your
personal statement:
Course choice
What course(s) do you want to apply for?
When did you become interested in the
course(s)?
Why would you find this subject interesting?
What would you particularly enjoy?
Are there particular elements of the subject that
appeal to you?
What have you learnt about the subject that has
inspired you to take it to university-level?
What personal qualities do you possess that
make you suited to this area of study?
Is your interest sparked by particular career
ambitions?
Any other reasons?
Academic background
What are you currently studying?
What do you particularly enjoy about your
current studies?
What have you learnt so far, that you would like
to take further?
Have you done any particular academic projects
within your studies? An extended essay or
research project?
Have you been on any trips or events that have
inspired you?
Anything else about your academic studies?
page 2
Work experience/part-time jobs
You don’t have to fill in all of these boxes, but it might make you think about some of the skills you have learned
through the things you are involved in.
Skills
How can you demonstrate you have
developed this skill?
Why might this skill be useful to have
at university?
Commitment
Communication skills
Computer literacy
Confidence
Determination
Diplomacy
Entrepreneurial skills
Flexibility
Interpersonal skills
Organisational skills
Problem solving
Responsibility
Team work
Time management
Using initiative
Working independently
Working to deadline
page 3
Non-accredited achievements and positions of responsibility
Personal achievements
What have you gained from this?
eg running a marathon
Determination to succeed even when faced with challenges
Positions of responsibility
What have you gained from this?
eg prefect
A sense of responsibility – being trusted to act as a
role model for other students
Hobbies and interests
Hobby or interest
What does this involve?
What have you gained from this?
eg drama
Being involved in a drama club
outside school
Confidence while performing and
commitment to regular rehearsals
Future plans
If you have a specific career plan in mind, you should mention it in your personal statement, explaining how you
hope to use the knowledge and skills gained through your studies. If you don’t know your career plans yet, focus
on your course and why you want to progress to higher education.
Career plans
How will the knowledge and skills gained through your
studies help?
If you are planning on taking a gap year, you should mention this in your personal statement and explain what
you would like to do during this time.
Gap year plans
page 4
What do you hope to gain from this?
Some common questions
How strict is the word limit?
UCAS Apply limits the text to 47 lines (including blank
lines) or 4,000 characters (including spaces),
whichever you reach sooner. The limit is there for a
reason, as a key test of the process is to check
whether you are able to convey your reasons for
wanting to study in a clear and succinct way. All the
examples in this guide fall within this limit.
Should I mention anything about my gap year?
Yes, you should explain why you are taking a gap year
and what you plan to do. Demonstrate your enthusiasm
and initiative, and highlight how the activity may relate
to your course. The humanities personal statement in
this guide is written by a student on a gap year.
How far back should I go when mentioning my
hobbies and interests?
Only mention things which help support your
application; a long list of everything you’ve done is
much less impressive than picking one or two things
and writing about the skills you have gained through
them. Activities undertaken recently will certainly carry
more weight than those you did in junior school.
I’m only applying to one university – should I mention
it in my personal statement?
It is not a good idea to mention universities by name or
show a bias towards a certain institution in your
personal statement. Even if you only intend to apply to
one institution, your plans could change later and you
cannot change your personal statement.
I’m not interesting or unique… what should I do?
Everyone has aspects to their personality that make
them interesting; it’s just a case of putting them into
words. You may find it helpful to ask someone close to
you, like a friend, relative or teacher.
Subject-specific guides
A significant proportion of your statement will require
you to demonstrate your interest and suitability for the
course that you have selected. This section contains an
example statement for each subject area. Remember
that these are not model answers and all have
particular strengths and weaknesses. Where you see a
word or sentence underlined, this indicates a mistake
or weakness.
Page 6 Accounting, Finance and Banking
Page 7 American Studies
Page 8 Biology and related courses
Page 9 Biomedical Science
Page 10 Business Management
Page 11 Computer Science and related courses
Page 12 Drama and Theatre
Page 13 Economics
Page 14 English Language and Linguistics
Page 15 Entrepreneurship and related courses
Page 16 European Studies and Politics (example of a
joint degree application)
Page 17 Film Studies
Page 18 History
Page 19 History of Art
Page 20 Humanities
Page 21 Latin American Studies
Page 22 Law and Human Rights
Page 23 Literature
Page 24 Mathematics
Page 25 Modern Languages
Page 26 Nursing
Page 27 Philosophy
Page 28 Politics and International Relations
Page 29 Psychology
Page 30 Sociology and related courses
Page 31 Sports and Exercise Science
Page 32 What not to write: example of a personal
statement with several weaknesses
How should I end my personal statement?
Don’t just let it fizzle out; this is your final chance to
impress. Avoid being too general by writing something
like “I am looking forward to becoming a psychologist”;
be much more specific and end on a very positive note
by closing your statement with something like “I am
passionate about working with young children in the
future, and therefore am highly determined to make
the most of my degree and achieve my ambition to
become a developmental psychologist.”
page 5
Accounting, Finance and Banking
Accounting is an analytical interpretation of financial
information; I see accounting as the backbone of every
organisation, it decides the success or failure of a
business and it adds and recognises the value of
money. Without accounting money will be of little or no
value. My passion for business and inquisitiveness
about the current financial crisis in the EU has
confirmed my decision to study for a degree in
accounting.
To broaden my understanding and knowledge, I have
been reading The Economist and The Financial Times.
This gives me an insight into the state of the economy
and business organisations, and allows me to be
up-to-date with information that happens in the
economy. In order to research my chosen career in
accounting, I have attended presentations on
accounting by local universities and accountancy firms,
in which I found out more about the course and the
role of an accountant. This has increased my
knowledge of the career and improved my
understanding of the financial and accounting sector.
While studying A-level Accounting in college I have
developed a strong interest in the subject and would
like to improve my knowledge by continuing to study
the subject at university. By studying accounts in
college, I learnt a lot about how accounting is used in a
variety of business situations and the measurement of
financial transaction. I am also studying A-level
Economics, which helps me as the subjects combine
well. By studying both these subjects, I have a greater
understanding of the various concepts, methods and
analytical skills involved in them. Whilst studying for my
A-levels I have also worked part-time in the retail
industry, for Burton. This has allowed me to develop
excellent time management skills, working under
pressure, and the importance of combining customer
service and financial transactions. Additionally, last
summer I volunteered at the charity Centrepoint
helping redecorate their premises to help young
people who are in danger of being homeless. I feel I
have been fortunate in my life and appreciate the
opportunity to give something back by helping out
young people who have had less opportunity.
Since I have been at college, I have developed
many new skills and improved those I already have.
I have become more organised: designating periods
page 6
for study and meeting coursework deadlines. The
fundamental skill, in which I have developed, is
becoming more independent in researching and
demonstrating new skills.
University is a chance for me to challenge myself in a
new environment to achieve my full potential. I intend
to maximise all opportunities presented to me by
enhancing my understanding of accounting and
finance, whilst maintaining a keen interest in my
voluntary activities. I also aim to attend extra classes
and public lectures to boost my financial knowledge. I
am fascinated by systems of accountancy and am sure
that a degree in accounting and finance will lay the
foundations for my chosen career path. I am dedicated
towards my goal of embarking upon a profession in the
financial world, but in addition, I feel that attending
university will aid in my overall development both
personally and professionally. Being an individual who
strives to make the most of opportunities that are
provided to me, and to whom hard work and success
are very important, I am wholly committed to achieving
the aforementioned aims and reaching my career
potential from my university experience.
Strengths
n
The opening sentence directly addresses the
chosen course, which implies decisiveness and
commitment without the need for a lengthy
introduction. The final paragraph about their interest
in university life is also strong: having a strong
closing paragraph is also important.
n The student goes into a lot of detail about what
subject they are studying at the moment, which is
relevant to accounting.
Weaknesses
n
There is a brief reference to the current state of the
economy but this could have been developed to
show an appreciation of how accounting is related
to current affairs.
n The final two sentences are a little vague and wordy,
the beginning and end of personal statements are
important so it is good to be succinct.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Ensure your personal statement is well structured and
demonstrates your commitment to the course(s) you
have applied for!”
American Studies
As John F Kennedy said: “Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or present are
certain to miss the future”. I have chosen American
Studies as it will give me the opportunity to combine
my strong passion for politics, literature and history
with learning about the USA, a country which has
always fascinated me. America has a relatively short
history yet it has come to dominate the world and
become a part of our everyday lives.
I am particularly interested in the interdisciplinary
nature of the American Studies course: at how history
and culture can be reflected in literature and political
views. I am interested in seeing how American
literature portrays a land of such diverse cultures and
rich history. I am also looking forward to expanding my
knowledge of America’s past and present, and
exploring the lifestyles and views of the many cultures
that populate it.
I am currently studying History, Film Studies and
English Literature. These subjects have given me
more insight into the history, culture and unique
national character of America. In A-level History, I have
studied America from the War of Independence to the
First World War, focusing on America’s growth to
become one of the foremost political powers in the
world, and how it became such a diverse nation. I have
also become interested in the Civil Rights Movement,
from which I have learnt the great power of Martin
Luther King and the effect he still has on people to
this day. In A-level Film Studies, I have analysed
American media and film, and studied the “Golden
Age” of Hollywood and the studio system with the film
giants such as MGM. I have also been able to look at
modern culture through the film Bridesmaids and how
important historical events are shown through film,
such as the American Civil War in Cold Mountain, and
the effects of the Civil War on women in Little Women.
Studying English literature has allowed me to develop
my essay writing skills, has taught me to read and
research around core texts, and has encouraged me
to give detailed evaluations.
I currently have a part-time job in a restaurant, which
allows me to interact with new people and learn the
all-important ‘people skills’, as well as organise my
hours around college. I have also done work
experience in a primary school. I enjoy working with
young children and plan to participate in ‘Camp
America’ during the university vacations.
I enjoy team sports, playing volleyball regularly and
captaining the school hockey team until I was 15.
Sport offers me the opportunity to interact with others
in a competitive environment as well as keeping up my
fitness, which is important to me. I hope to participate
in sports at university. I enjoy photography and was
selected as the main photographer for our college
magazine and website, which is a big responsibility,
involving creativity, communication and working to a
deadline.
I feel that I am a hardworking student with a great
work ethic. I work through the challenges life throws
at me with determination and cheer. I live life to the full
with the motivation to do well in everything I do. I am
looking forward to the independence of university life
and the varied opportunities it has to offer, both
academic and extra-curricular. I hope to extend my
knowledge of American history, literature, film and
contemporary society, and look forward to the
opportunity to study this fascinating subject at
university.
Strengths
n
This student explains how they became interested
in American Studies based on their prior academic
study and research, which backs up their
enthusiasm and shows a well-researched choice.
When applying for a multidisciplinary degree, it is
important to explain why it is appropriate to your
skills and interests.
n It is beneficial to show how your A-level studies
have influenced your choice of course. Be sure to
refer to why the study of the United States is of
interest to you.
Weaknesses
n
The student opens with a quote but it is not clear
what relevance this has to the statement as a
whole. Always refer back to points you have
previously made and make sure any quotes are
relevant.
n It is better to talk about more recent activities than
a hockey team that you no longer captain.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“If you are applying for a degree that includes a period
of study abroad, be sure to discuss how and why this
appeals to you. This is an important and idiosyncratic
part of your chosen degree!”
page 7
Biology and related courses
My interest in biology stems from my childhood, when
I kept tadpoles and watched some of them grow into
frogs, and saw how so many did not survive, as is
often the way in nature. I have always enjoyed
learning about science, as I can see how applicable
the knowledge is to the real world and how scientific
research means that humans are always finding new
ways to solve problems. I have a great interest in
science in current affairs, for example I was
fascinated by the ecological difficulties following the
Costa Concordia disaster and the challenges in
salvaging the shipwreck while also protecting and
conserving the sea bed and marine life around it.
I have chosen a biological sciences course as it
seems to best fit my interests. I am particularly
interested in human biology; I enjoy topics like cell
biology, disease and anatomy. I like learning about
how the body works including the processes like
digestion and circulation, and the functions of
complex organs such as the heart and lungs. My
AS-level Biology teacher has been an inspiration to
me as she has a huge enthusiasm for the subject and
a unique way of explaining theories and broadening
our knowledge. As a result, I have a strong interest in
studying biology at a higher level and am looking
forward to exploring the subject in more depth.
I have been able to extend my understanding by
linking Biology to topics from the other subjects that I
study. Chemistry has been particularly helpful, as it is
inherent in biology, allowing me to gain a better
understanding of both subjects. Geography has
expanded my interest in the formation of the world,
incorporating animals, humans and all the interactions
between these elements. In addition to these
subjects, I have also taken AS-level Critical Thinking,
which has given me a totally different, but equally
important and relevant, style of learning. I have
experienced a variety of teaching approaches which
have enabled me to broaden my interests even
further. I have particularly enjoyed the field trips in
geography and biology, and look forward to
participating in more hands-on learning at university.
Playing an active role in my sixth form committee,
I have been instrumental in making important
decisions on the running of the sixth form, and have
also become a trusted assistant to staff during
page 8
events. I am regularly asked to give tours of the
school to new teachers and pupils, and have also
been involved in their interviews and selection; I felt
proud to be given this responsibility. The committee
also organises the Sixth Form Prom every year which
can be stressful as it is an important event and has to
be well-run, enjoyed by all and delivered on budget.
These activities show I can cope with positions of
responsibility, work well in a team and am not afraid
of a challenge. These are skills I am sure will enhance
my biology studies and also demonstrate a
willingness to get involved in student life at university.
I grew up in Dorset, and this beautiful part of the
world has many rural paths ideal for walking and
cycling. I now know these routes well and, due to my
growing knowledge of Biology, I can now apply my
knowledge to the countryside I am so familiar with,
helping to reinforce my understanding of the world
around us. I now feel ready to discover a new part of
the UK and am looking forward to the challenge of
moving away from home and gaining more
independence. These reasons, alongside my Duke of
Edinburgh Gold Award, explain why I am looking
forward to going to university and particularly to
studying Biology.
Strengths
n
This student relates academic and extra-curricular
activities back to the study of biology, which is
effective.
n It is useful to explain what skills you have gained
from your activities and apply them to the course
you have chosen, as this applicant does.
Weaknesses
n
The Duke of Edinburgh Award is just mentioned in
passing and too briefly to contribute anything else
to this personal statement.
n Sometimes the word ‘biology’ is capitalized and
sometimes it is not. It is best to aim for consistency
in your grammar.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Statements that lack detail can appear manufactured
and insincere. Try to mention topics that you have a
particular interest in studying.”
Biomedical Science
I have chosen this course as it will help me learn
about biomedicine and will give me transferable skills
which I can apply to any career. I have done a lot of
research into my university choices and the modules
available look fascinating. I am really looking forward
to learning about this course in more detail. I have a
very positive attitude towards my studies and always
try to approach them with enthusiasm and
commitment. I am a hardworking and reliable
individual and have been described as a
conscientious student.
My strong interest in science inspired me to gain
some work experience at Addenbrookes Hospital and
at the pharmaceutical company Pfizer. While at
Addenbrookes I worked in the physiotherapy
department and on the general ward, which improved
my skills in communication and gave me an insight
into working in a hospital environment. At Pfizer I
worked in the Pharmokinetics department and carried
out several experiments including monitoring the
effects of ibuprofen on the brain. I was very inspired
by the knowledgeable and experienced staff I met,
and my lab skills also improved, which I feel will help
me at university. Although I appreciated both my work
experiences, I particularly enjoyed working at Pfizer
and I am now considering a career in laboratory
research.
I have really enjoyed my A-levels in Biology,
Chemistry and Geography. I have found that my main
interests are in the immune system and chemical
reactions which occur in the body, and the effects
certain chemicals have on people. As a lifelong hay
fever sufferer, I have also been interested to learn
about the drugs used to prevent and cure allergic
reactions, particularly the creation and development
of antihistamines, and this is something I am looking
forward to exploring further.
On a personal level, I play netball on a weekly basis
and have belonged to both my school team and one
of my local town teams, where we won the local
league last season. Through my participation in sport,
I have learned to be an effective team player.
Participating on cold rainy nights has also taught me
the importance of self-discipline and of honouring
commitments. I have also undertaken work
experience with my local hospice as well as at a
newsagent, allowing me to develop my existing
interpersonal skills and my ability to relate to all ages
and all walks of life. My work in the newsagent
developed from a paper round which I started doing
aged 13. As my managers were impressed with my
hard work and dedication, I was invited to work
behind the counter two years later and have been
working every Saturday since. This summer, I was
lucky enough to be selected as a Games Maker for
the London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics. I am
very proud of this and enjoyed the new challenges
involved.
After finishing university I would like to embark on a
career in laboratory research, with the aim of
uncovering new knowledge and developing it to help
make the world a better place. A course in biomedical
science is ideally suited to help me achieve this and
will cement my current knowledge and experience to
help me reach my career aims. I am looking forward
to undertaking more lab work and working with my
fellow students. I understand that university life will be
challenging, but I am really looking forward to the
experience and am confident that it will give me the
knowledge and skills I need to reach my potential.
Strengths
n
This personal statement is very enthusiastic and
displays a clear understanding of how the
knowledge learned in the course can be applied in
a career.
n The applicant has used their work experience to
reinforce their course choice, which strengthens
their application.
Weaknesses
n
The opening line does not grab the reader’s
attention – it would be more effective if it was a
little more punchy.
n The student could have given more information
about their A-level study, particularly as these
subjects are very relevant to the degree course
choice.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Remember to talk about why you want to study
the subject!”
page 9
Business Management
My ambition in life has always been to succeed in
business, so I am keen to study a degree that will
help me learn how businesses work in order to
achieve my goals. In the twenty-first century, there are
so many competing forces in the world, and the
business world is constantly changing. I find this
challenging and exciting, so look forward to studying
this subject further at university.
At school, I am studying A-levels in Economics and in
Politics, which have both given me an understanding
of the wider world. Within my A-level Economics, I
appreciate our focus on different models but
particularly enjoy seeing how they are interpreted in
the real world. My A-level Politics has also taught me
the importance of keeping up-to-date with current
affairs, to further my understanding of the subject
area. I read The Economist each week, to see the
theories that I study in class in action and now, when
watching the news on television or online, I find I have
a better understanding of the impact economics and
politics have on all our lives.
I am also studying A-level German, which has been a
great benefit to me as I am keen to live and work
abroad, so this course has helped with this ambition,
by broadening my horizons in terms of future job
prospects. It has also given me an opportunity to learn
more about economic and cultural influences in
Europe.
I am also undertaking an Extended Project looking at
corporate social responsibility (CSR). I am looking at
how businesses have an increasing ethical
responsibility toward the people their actions effect,
which is an exciting and dynamic topic. I feel that the
skills of independent learning and research, which I
am developing through my Extended Project, will be
essential for university.
Last August I took part in a two-week summer school
at a local university. Going on a tour with a current
student made me realise that I wish to study at a
campus-based university, so I can take part in
extra-curricular activities, such as joining clubs and
societies. While in the sixth form, I have taken part in
debates as part of my school’s debating society and
participated in an Insight into Management course. I
was given the role of managing director, which was
both exciting and challenging but gave me a good
page 10
experience of leading a team and an understanding
of management.
I look forward to studying a business degree at
university. I know that this subject will be hard work
but also rewarding as it fits closely with my future
career ambitions and will help me move closer to a
successful career in industry.
Strengths
n
It is good to talk about your Extended Project, and
the skills and knowledge this has given you.
n Mentioning research into universities shows you
are dedicated and focused.
Weaknesses
n
The summer school the student attended could
have been relevant and expanded upon. Always
give details about specific experiences like this.
n If you mention your preference is for
campus-based universities, then ensure all the
universities you are applying for provide campuses!
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Admissions selectors for business schools will want
to hear about your personal qualities and strengths,
including leadership, communications and initiative.”
Computer Science and related courses
Ever since I got my first computer as a child, I have
been fascinated by computers and how they work. I
am especially interested in how to program them and
have self-taught myself the basics of many
programming languages such as html and php for
websites. Computers have always been a hobby for
me but now I want to turn this into a professional and
rewarding career. I am keen to work in the games
industry or in a programming role using the skills that
I know I will gain at university.
At college, I am taking A-levels in History, Further
Mathematics and Computing, so am building skills
that I will be able to use at university and in any future
career. For example, in my History classes, historical
sources are vital when researching a historical period,
so I have to analyse texts in a critical and thoughtful
manner. My A-level Further Mathematics has given
me a good grounding in algorithms and logic, which
are pivotal in the study of computer science. This
course has also given me valuable skills in logical
thinking and problem solving.
However my A-level Computing has given me a
strong foundation on which to extend my computing
knowledge at university. I have particularly enjoyed
looking at technological advances in products like
laptops, iPhones and other portable devices. I find the
ways these devices influence our day-to-day lives,
and how it is continually changing, to be fascinating.
I am excited about being part of, and fully
understanding, this ever evolving technology.
quite extensively as an adult,” as I also love to read
science fiction books.
At university I am looking forward to expanding my
knowledge of computers and ICT.
Strengths
n
The personal statement opens with an excellent
summary of what prompted initial interest in the
subject. This also shows their enthusiasm for
the subject, which admissions selectors like to
read about.
n The student demonstrates that their interest in the
subject goes beyond the classroom, which will
strengthen the application.
Weaknesses
n
Quotes are good but keep them short and only use
them if they are relevant to your application.
n The closing paragraph is very short and abrupt.
Remember to make use of this last chance to
impress the admissions selector.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“It is important to show that you enjoy the subject.
Many applicants demonstrate this by talking about
how they started using computers, what they enjoyed
about that and why they now want to study this at
university. This is a great signal that someone knows
what they are applying for and comes across very
naturally in a personal statement.”
I have a part-time job working in a busy Apple repair
shop. I have to interact with many different customers,
which has developed my social and communication
skills. As part of this role, I need to have an excellent
working knowledge of all computer applications, as
well as components and hardware, and help full-time
staff in diagnosing faults with computers. This further
knowledge will benefit my future studies and the
practical side of studying computer science at
university, working on individual and group projects, is
something I am really looking forward to.
When I am not studying or working, I like to watch
The Simpsons and agree with creator Matt Groening
who said “I’ve loved science fiction ever since I was a
little kid, mainly from looking at the covers of
science-fiction magazines and books, and I’ve read
page 11
Drama and Theatre
My passion has always been drama, so continuing
with this subject at degree level would be a fantastic
opportunity to study something I enjoy, while learning
more about the subject. I am also keen to take on
opportunities outside of my studies to develop my
performance skills. I look forward to joining theatre
societies at university, and to getting involved in
theatre productions as a student.
For my A-levels, I chose subjects which I believe will
help me in studying drama at university. While my
A-level Drama and Theatre Studies has given me
performance skills and knowledge of different
practitioners, I have also learnt how to work with other
actors and to appreciate different points of view in
order to understand and create a successful play. As
well as performing on stage, I have taken backstage
roles such as set design, providing props and being
director for one end-of-term production, which have
been thoroughly enjoyable experiences.
Alongside this, my A-level English Literature has
vastly improved my writing skills and I have welcomed
the opportunity to work on original scripts based
around different topics such as Alice in Wonderland. It
has also been a great way to study different plays,
including A Streetcar Named Desire, A Doll’s House,
Billy Liar and Macbeth, which are all vastly different.
As part of this A-level, I particularly enjoy our class
discussions about different playwrights and topics
related to their work, such as dependence on men
shown by both Blanche and Stella in A Streetcar
Named Desire or deception in A Doll’s House.
My A-level Psychology has provided an academic
challenge but the subject matter, particularly the
focus on human behaviour and the mind, has made it
an interesting course, while helping to further improve
my essay writing, and giving me the knowledge to
understand and explain the behaviour of characters in
literary works that I am studying for my other A-levels.
At school I have performed in our annual
Shakespeare festivals and Christmas productions. At
the last Shakespeare festival, I directed an all-female
version of Macbeth, which was a valuable experience
of working from a script and gave me an insight into
drama beyond the remit of my school curriculum.
page 12
I also enjoy going to the theatre, so have gone on
trips with my school and in my own time to see a
variety of performances. I was able to get tickets to
see Danny Boyle’s Frankenstein at the National, and
particularly enjoyed watching this well known book be
performed on stage. In our modern society, where so
much pressure is put on physical perfection, I found
this production (and the treatment that the Creature
received from others, because of his appearance) to
be extremely poignant and moving.
Studying drama at university would enable me to
continue my passion and ensure it is more than just a
hobby. I am excited about the future prospect of
working with people who have the same passion for
drama and the theatre as I do. I would embrace the
opportunity to study this course and hope you will
consider me for a place at your university.
Strengths
n
Showing enthusiasm about joining clubs or
societies at university will impress; universities like
students who get involved.
n The personal statement shows awareness of
different elements of drama beyond acting.
Weaknesses
n
The statement is very narrow and focused on
drama; it is good to show that you have interests
outside of your subject area.
n The final sentence is addressed directly to the
admissions tutor, which is not advisable. The
personal statement is not a letter.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“It is important to remember that a drama degree is
not actor training and performance will be only one
aspect of your studies. Ensure you include evidence of
an engagement with the relationship between the
theoretical and the practical - for instance, by
discussing practitioners or playwrights. Try to include
specific information about theatre that you have seen,
outlining how a particular production has affected you.”
Economics
Economic issues influence our lives everyday.
Economics is about more than just a recession, the
inflation or exchange rates, it is also about how our
choices, such as consuming goods or introducing a
new policy, affect us. As economics is so important to
everyone, I wish to further my knowledge in this area
by studying the subject further at university.
Studying A-level Economics has given me the
opportunity to develop my prime interest. However, by
also studying A-level History, I have seen how many
macroeconomic issues overlap with historical events,
such as the economic boom of the 1920s when the
USA expanded ‘hire and purchase’ broadly, so
everyone could purchase their own luxury items. This
then led to the Wall Street crash in 1929 when
poorer families had trouble with repayment and
similarities can be seen in recent years in Europe. All
my A-levels, as I am also studying A-level Sociology,
have given me new skills, like the ability to be an
independent learner, to undertake my own research
and to evaluate sources. These are all skills I will use
further at university. As additional work to
complement my A-levels, I am currently reading The
Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, to improve my
understanding of the origins of economics, and
Freakconomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner,
which shows how relevant economics is to everyday
life. I also subscribe to The Economist to keep up-todate with current affairs. I am particularly interested in
the current economic crisis in Europe and would like
to study this further at university.
Strengths
n
The student succeeds in conveying enthusiasm
for the subject.
n The strong involvement in a local youth centre
shows dedication and commitment.
Weaknesses
n
Attention must be made to style. The second
paragraph is far too long and could have been
broken down into at least three separate ones.
n The student doesn’t elaborate on the current
economic crisis in Europe, which slightly
undermines their claim that they keep up-to-date
with current affairs.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Your personal statement should demonstrate your
interest, potential ability and understanding of
economics.”
Outside of college I volunteer at my local youth centre
twice a week. I have done this for three years, so am
one of the experienced volunteers and often lead
other volunteers when they first join our team. My role
involves organising, running and evaluating sessions
and activities for year 8 pupils, which has improved
my communication and leadership skills, and helped
me learn how to work well with other people.
I look forward to studying economics at university, as
it is a subject that has a relevance to everyday life,
affects everyone and impacts virtually every aspect of
our lives.
page 13
English Language and Linguistics
I have always been interested in English language, as
it is such a vital component of human nature that
allows us to communicate with each other. I would
like to study English language and linguistics at
university as I find it interesting to debate the
different questions that language raises, like how we
acquire language, are we all born with an innate
ability or is it dependent on our process of learning?
My interest in English language has grown by
studying it further at A-level. I have found it
particularly interesting to learn about different
accents across the UK, and how accents can differ
from each other, even in neighbouring towns. I have
also enjoyed integrating linguistic concepts and
theories into my arguments, displaying awareness
towards the importance of critiques.
My other A-levels, in English Literature and in
Geography, are also very interesting. A key part of my
English literature study has been our interesting
classroom discussions, which helped develop my
interpretation and personal opinion of different texts.
For my A-level Geography, we have covered a range
of human and physical topics, and included a
geographical skills trip to Snowdonia, which helped
me learn to work as part of a team when collecting
data for our assignment.
I am also working on an Extended Project. I have
found all my A-level subjects have required I
complete coursework to given deadlines, and have
improved my essay writing ability and time
management. These are valuable skills that will be
necessary for my studies in the future.
Outside of college, I play the cello to grade 7 level
and perform in a youth orchestra. To maintain this
high standard requires commitment and dedication
but performing in concerts, often to hundreds of
people, has given me increased confidence. I would
definitely be interested in joining a university
orchestra.
I have always wanted to become a journalist, so
spend a lot of my time penning stories to improve and
further my writing abilities. I have undertaken work
experience at my local newspaper, where I was given
the opportunity to publish articles on forthcoming
charity events in the local area. My time at the paper
page 14
allowed me to display a range of writing techniques.
At college, I also write for my student newspaper and
am looking forward to continuing this at university.
There are many benefits to studying a subject you
enjoy at university-level, and I look forward to
studying further in order to achieve my lifelong
ambition of becoming a journalist.
Strengths
n
The student has put a lot of thought into their
long-term career goal. Although this is not
essential, and not always possible, it does
demonstrate focused thought.
n The student draws attention to skills developed
through their studies and hobbies, which works
well as these are skills they will use at university.
Weaknesses
n
The student has over-used the word ‘interest’ in the
first three paragraphs. It is essential, especially for
a subject like English language, to demonstrate a
wide vocabulary.
n More could be said about the Extended Project,
especially if this is relevant to the chosen degree
course.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Remember to show yourself as a rounded and
enquiring student!”
Entrepreneurship and related courses
I am applying to study marketing at university, as I am
very interested in studying how businesses promote
and market themselves to a wider audience. This
interest has grown since last summer, when I
undertook work experience at a media sales
company, so worked with advisors selling advertising
for two daily newspapers and a further portfolio of
magazines. This was a fantastic experience as it
involved meeting with other media agencies and
seeing how advertising schedules are arranged. I also
got to work with the team on a proposal for a
particular advertising campaign, which offered me an
opportunity to learn valuable skills in analysis,
planning and creative thought.
This marketing experience gave me the confidence to
feel able to set up and run my own event at college,
when I worked with a small group of students to
organise a Christmas disco. As well as planning the
event, we used marketing activities such as posters
and creation of a colourful website to promote tickets
and encourage sales. This exercise built my teamwork
skills and organisation. The event was a great
success, as well as very enjoyable for everyone
involved.
I am keen to extend my knowledge of marketing and
business substantially through university study. I know
that I will thoroughly enjoy my course and that it will
open the doors for me to a career in marketing.
Strengths
n
The student makes good use of work experience,
voluntary work and other activities to demonstrate
relevant skills.
n The overall feel of the personal statement is very
enthusiastic.
Weaknesses
n
‘I socialise with friends’ is too vague and will not
impress an admissions tutor. This does not add
value to your application.
n The student writes explicitly about their personality.
It would be better to illustrate your personality
through your interests and activities, and give
examples, rather than just describing yourself as a
‘people person’.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Write in a positive and interesting way as this will
capture the attention of an admissions selector.”
I am currently studying for my BTEC National
Extended Diploma in business studies and general
studies. I am really enjoying business studies and
have learnt a lot of new skills, such as how to manage
my time and work to deadlines. My recent coursework
project looked at brand management, as I analysed
the creation of more recent brands, such as Innocent
drinks, and how the development of Facebook and
Twitter can help (or hinder!) brand awareness.
Outside of college, I volunteer in a local charity shop. I
am a popular member of the team and frequently
described by colleagues as a ‘people person’ due to
my bubbly nature. As part of this role, I have had to
use my creativity and business knowledge to set up
visual merchandise displays to promote our products
in order to increase sales for the charity.
In addition to my academic studies, I socialise with my
friends. I like to keep fit, so play football and cricket
for a local club. I am also a strong skier and look
forward to continuing with these hobbies while
studying at university.
page 15
European Studies and Politics (example of a
joint degree application)
I am extreemely passionate about politics, foreign
languages and travel, meaning a degree that allows me
to combine these topics is perfect. I am especially
interested in learning more about countries in Europe
and keep up-to-date with currant affairs and the latest
news via broadsheet newspapers and the internet. In
addition, the opportunity to spend a year abroad in
France or Spain as part of my university studies is very
appealing. I have already spent time abroad on
exchange trips with my school, and found these to be
very rewarding and worthwhile experiences.
At school, I study Politics, French and Spanish. Within
my A-level Politics, I relish the opportunity to discuss
and debate different topics, which has given me a
good experience of taking part in discussions and
confidence in expressing my opinion. I am particularly
interested in foreign and international politics, and have
recently produced coursework on activities relating to
the EU and the present crisis concerning the Euro.
As part of my A-level Spanish, I have really enjoyed the
cultural aspects of the course, which have given me a
greater understanding about the country and its
people. This includes looking at literature and films
from Spain, to understand the complexities of Spanish
grammar and analyse these works further. One of my
favourite directors is Pedro Almodovar, as I particularly
enjoy the black comedy in his many movies.
Outside of school, I am a keen member of a local
political party, so try to get involved whenever I can.
This includes helping out at the recent election, where I
felt as though I had made a real difference and got to
meet different politicians. This was a valuable and
useful experience, which helped build my knowledge
and understanding of our national political system.
For the last two years, I have had a part-time job in
Tesco, working with a number of different colleagues.
My hard working attitude and commitment has been
noted by my line manager. I am happy working as part
of a team or independently in this busy environment,
which has greatly improved my communication skills
and allowed me to learn to manage my time efficiently.
page 16
My enthusiasm for politics and languages, plus my
desire to travel the world and explore different places,
make this course very attractive to me. In the future, I
aspire to work as a language specialist, possibly for
the EU in Brussels or in the Intelligence Service, so
this course will help me succeed in this ambition.
Strengths
n
This student conveys a passion for European
Studies and Politics well.
n The student mentions the year abroad and where
she would like to go. It is good to show that you
are thinking ahead.
Weaknesses
n
n
Silly spelling mistakes look sloppy.
It is a shame the student does not talk about their
A-level French. It is relevant to the chosen course
and some emphasis on language skills would
strengthen the statement, particularly as the
student is thinking of spending a year abroad in
France.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Make sure you talk about qualities which show
you are suitable to both aspects of your chosen
joint degree.”
Film Studies
I am currently studying for my A-levels in English
Literature, Theatre Studies and Film Studies. I am
also preparing an Extended Project, creating a short
film inspired by the work of Orson Welles.
I chose to study A-level English Literature because
I have always enjoyed reading and welcome the
opportunity that this course has given me to study a
variety of new and challenging texts, as well as
building my skills in essay writing and critical analysis.
My A-level Theatre Studies lets me undertake a
practical element, which I have greatly enjoyed, and
has increased my confidence at public speaking and
performing in front of an audience.
However I am most enjoying A-level Film Studies, as
it has helped me appreciate the art of film-making,
and truly understand the effort, creativity and thought
that goes into each film. This is why I wish to do a
degree in film studies.
As part of my A-level Film Studies, I have enjoyed
looking at novels that have been made into films and
how successful this transition has been. For example,
the disjointed relationship between the central
characters in David Nicholls’ One Day works well in a
book but I was disappointed with the film version, as
I did not feel it created the same empathy for the
characters. In contrast, Joe Wright’s adaptation of
Atonement cleverly balanced the viewpoints in the
novel, with the tense wartime setting creating an
emotional and atmospheric film.
My latest piece of coursework has looked at various
film techniques, and how these can create a different
atmosphere for the audience. I looked at films such
as Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, as I appreciated
how the handheld camera was used to closely follow
Natalie Portman, making it seem as if she’s being
pushed into the dance studio and has no choice but
to perform. To contrast this, I also analysed the
Dunkirk scene in Atonement, where the director uses
no music and just a single shot to recreate the bleak
World War II setting.
In my spare time, I enjoy reading and writing, and
recently started a blog where I give my opinions on
the latest films, books and music. I find that I often
write about the band Muse, who are one of my
favourite groups and have received a lot of publicity
recently, as they performed the official song for the
London 2012 Olympics and took part in the
impressive closing ceremony, which I greatly enjoyed.
I also subscribe to Empire magazine to keep
up-to-date with current film as, and visit the cinema
regularly. I belong to a local film club which has
enabled me to view independent films.
As editor of my school magazine, I write and organise
the publication to meet given deadlines, which has
greatly improved my organisation skills and will be
essential for future life. I would like a career in film
journalism so have always wanted to go to university
to enhance my skills and achieve this career goal.
I look forward to increasing my knowledge and
appreciation of film at university-level.
Strengths
n
The student is very focused towards film studies,
using enthusiastic and positive language when
writing about the subject.
n It is good to give an example of relevant work
carried out at A-level, such as the coursework on
film techniques.
Weaknesses
n
The student could have said more about their
Extended Project which is very relevant to the
chosen degree.
n The student goes off on a tangent when talking
about the band Muse; this part of the personal
statement could have been shortened to make
room for more about the Extended Project.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Everybody more or less knows whether or not they
like a film, so an application that shows you have
thought a little more deeply about how films are
produced, what can be achieved with the medium,
and why certain films achieve critical or popular
acclaim in a given context, will always stand out from
the crowd.”
page 17
History
My fascination with studying the past, looking at how
events have influenced and shaped the world we now
live in, and delving into periods of time from different
viewpoints, has made me want to study history at
university.
My GCSE and A-level study has greatly improved my
understanding of history, with a particular focus on
war in the twentieth-century. Visiting the battlefields
of Ypres and the Somme allowed me to put the dates
and facts I learned in my classes into context, as well
as consider the people involved, particularly when
taking an emotional trip to view the massive
cemeteries there. I returned to the classroom with an
increased interest in studying history from the
perspective of different individuals, such as the foot
soldier or the civilians waiting anxiously at home. I am
looking forward to furthering my knowledge of this at
university, as well as looking at new topics such as
American history, to understand how the USA has
become such a super power.
Studying A-level History has given me many useful
skills, like being able to write and research
independently, and analyse different sources of
information. My other A-levels, in Politics and in
English Literature, are also relevant, as they involve
analysing work and producing essays that express my
ideas clearly. I am looking forward to putting these
skills into practice at university, as well as improving
and adding to these abilities.
Last summer, I was part of a volunteer group that
visited west Africa for five weeks. I am also a keen
badminton player and have been a member of my
local club for five years, working up from the junior
ranks to represent my club in tournaments. I now also
coach the juniors, which has been a valuable
experience and allowed me to share my enjoyment
for badminton. I am looking forward to continuing with
badminton at university.
I am confident that I will do well studying history at
university, and that this experience will prepare me
well for a wide range of future career options.
page 18
Strengths
n
The student’s comments about visiting the
battlefields shows their enthusiasm for the subject,
which is very important!
n The student also shows they have given thought to
other aspects of history (eg American history) that
they would like to explore at university, which
shows they are forward-thinking and enthusiastic.
Weaknesses
n
There is over-use of the phrase “I am looking
forward to”.
n This personal statement is a little short and some
parts could have been elaborated on, such as the
student’s trip to Africa or any voluntary work that
they’d like to do at university.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Why not add a sentence about what you like reading
or have read recently, even if it is fiction or not related
to the subject that you are applying for? Any arts
student will have to do a great deal of reading at
university, so showing some enthusiasm for this at
application stage doesn’t go amiss!”
History of Art
I have always been fascinated with art and enjoy
visiting galleries in the UK and abroad. Seeing the
impact that art can have on other people has made
me want to delve deeper into the subject. I am
passionate about studying history of art at university,
in order to gain a higher academic understanding and
because of my personal enjoyment of the subject.
I like looking at the history and progression of art in
all its forms: from the first known works of art such as
the Mammoth carving in Europe, to 1960s pop
culture. By delving deeper into art, I want to know why
it was created, its political, social and religious
context, and what it meant to society at the time. In
addition, I have a particular interest in the impact
religion has had on architecture and art, for instance
the decoration of Catholic churches of Renaissance
Italy and Michelangelo’s intricately painted ceiling in
the Sistine Chapel, which depicts episodes like the
creation of the world and the fall of man. Artists who
have had a strong influence on me include
Michelangelo, Botticelli and Salvador Dali. While on a
gap year in Spain, I was able to visit the amazing
Salvador Dali museum, as well as Museo del Prado
and Parc Guell. Being able to witness these works of
art against the backdrop of their home country really
allowed my studies to come to life.
I believe my A-level subjects of History, Philosophy
and Ethics, and Classical Civilisation all provide me
with me a wealth of relevant background knowledge
and experience for the study of history of art. For
example, I have found studying classical literature and
seeing how it has inspired artists over the ages to be
fascinating. I particularly enjoyed seeing how the
legend of Romulus and Remus has inspired pieces
like the Capitoline Wolf, a bronze sculpture in the
Museo Nuovo in Rome, and the painting, Romulus
and Remus, by Peter Paul Rubens.
Outside of my studies, I have played the flute since I
was a young child and now perform in a youth
orchestra which has given me confidence in
performing in front of large audiences. I also have a
part-time job as a Saturday girl in Debenhams, which
has helped me develop valuable personal qualities
such as practicality and confidence. I have also been
able to use my creative side by helping my manager
to plan window displays, in order to better promote
clothing and household items that are on sale.
Upon gaining my degree, a role in art restoration or
curation interests me. However, history of art is such
a wide ranging vocational subject, that I know it will
provide me with access to a broad range of careers.
Most importantly, studying history of art at
university-level will give me an opportunity to study
something I am passionate about, and I am very much
looking forward to this.
Strengths
n
The student demonstrates personal initiative and
an understanding of the vocational nature of her
subject.
n Referring to works of art displays a keen eye for
detail and a love of the subject, which is important
for applicants.
n The student effectively links her creative skills to
her experience in her part-time job.
Weaknesses
n
It may have been useful to add more detail about
the gap year.
n Describing her part-time job as a ‘Saturday girl’
could be changed; professional language such as
‘sales assistant’ would have more impact.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Do talk about extra-curricular activities and interests
that are related to history of art, such as visiting art
galleries.”
In addition, my interest in my A-level subjects mean I
have been encouraged by my tutors to read around
my A-level topics, in order to develop extensive
background knowledge. I feel my A-levels have given
me valuable skills, such as the ability to consider all
aspects of an argument, being able construct my own
argument in a clear form, good communication and
attention to detail. These are abilities I can use when
studying my degree, and in my life beyond university.
page 19
Humanities
I decided to apply for humanities shortly after starting
my IB, when I found I was enjoying the opportunity to
study a variety of diverse courses. This experience of
my IB led me to decide that a flexible degree in
humanities, that will allow me to study literature,
history, philosophy and politics, as well as other
subjects like art history, was hugely appealing.
As part of my IB, I studied American and Modern
History, but I would welcome the opportunity to
extend my historical knowledge across different
cultures and periods as part of a humanities degree.
Indeed, I enjoy living in a multicultural society and my
IB classes often involved challenging debates, which
helped me learn to engage confidently, and from a
well-informed viewpoint, in a well thought out and
productive manner. I look forward to working with
students from different cultural backgrounds at
university.
Since completing my IB, I have undertaken a gap
year. I spent the first six months of my gap year
working in a call centre, which gave me skills that
I can use when studying for my degree, as I found
call centre work requires you to be incredibly
self-motivated and disciplined. As part of this job,
I had to adhere to strict deadlines, while working
under immense pressure, and develop good listening
skills when dealing with different clients. This also
improved my communication skills and my overall
confidence.
The last months of my gap year were spent travelling
around South America independently. This was a
fantastic cultural experience and a real awakening to
a dramatically different way of life. This experience
means I would welcome the opportunity to travel
again as part of my degree, through a study abroad
programme at university.
Since returning from my gap year, I have been
volunteering at a local museum, on a project
cataloguing eighteenth-century legal papers. This has
been a rewarding and interesting experience, which
has improved my attention to detail and deepened my
understanding of this particular period of history.
My studies and personal experiences have ensured
I am looking forward to the challenges that studying
at university-level requires. By completing a degree in
page 20
humanities, I hope to further my personal
development and enjoyment of different subjects, as
well as open doors to many new and exciting career
opportunities.
Strengths
n
The student gives details of what they have been
doing since leaving school, which is essential if
applying during your gap year.
n The work experience and volunteer experience is
well presented and relevant.
Weaknesses
n
The student could have given more information
about their IB studies, highlighting what courses
were involved, for example.
n Although this personal statement is relevant for a
humanities course at Essex, it may not fit
humanities courses at other universities. It is
important to ensure your personal statement is
relevant to all your career choices.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Demonstrate your enthusiasm for the subject humanities allows you to get your teeth into many
different areas of study!”
Latin American Studies
My name is Evita Peron and I am 17 years old. I have
always been interested in the rich culture and
heritage of Latin American, so am applying for Latin
American Studies at university. I am eager to learn
more about the people, language, literature, music
and, crucially, the development of this beautiful region.
One reason that I have chosen to study Latin America
is because I believe strongly that Latin America is
becoming a member of the global community. I
closely follow news and current affairs for the region,
so have seen the transformation it has undergone in
the last ten years, especially in Brazil, Mexico and
Chile. I intend to take a gap year before starting
university, where I will spend the year in Latin America
and will be volunteering with Projects Abroad as part
of a sea turtle and coastal conservation project. As
well as improving my Spanish, and undertaking
valuable voluntary work, I will also have some time to
explore the region. This time abroad will enhance my
study of Latin America at university.
At college, I am studying literature, sociology and
psychology. My A-level Literature has given me skills
in critical thinking and essay writing, while my A-level
Sociology has provided a greater awareness of how
societies operate. For example, in Central and South
American countries, society norms can be quite
traditional and family-based, so A-level Sociology has
allowed me to study the development, structure and
functioning of human society, as well as its social
problems, and I feel able to use this knowledge to
study further aspects of Latin American society at
degree-level. In my A-level Sociology lessons I
particularly enjoy debating topics, as it gives me a
chance to express myself and put forward my ideas
and opinions. In addition, I chose A-level Psychology
as it gives me an insight into the human mind,
which will further benefit my future studies at
university-level.
As well as wishing to broaden my knowledge of
cultural aspects of Latin America at university, I have
a strong motivation to improve my language skills. I
believe that studying Spanish as part of my degree
will be enjoyable and afford me many different
opportunities in the world of work.
My ideal future career would be working for the UN,
as I believe strongly in the type of work undertaken
by this organisation, especially relating to human
rights, global development and peace-keeping.
I would love to work on human rights and
development in South America, as part of the UN, so
I believe this course will equip me with the knowledge
that I need. It will help me to achieve my career goals
and I cannot imagine a course that is more suited to
my skills, my passion and what I want for my future.
Strengths
n
The gap year is very relevant and the student
expresses how it will enhance their future studies.
For many subjects (like Latin American Studies)
such a gap year can strengthen your application.
n The student shows an interest in current affairs,
which is good.
Weaknesses
n
The first sentence, in which the student states her
name and age, is irrelevant. You provide your name
and age elsewhere in your UCAS form.
n The student does not talk about what she does
outside of college. Not mentioning any interests
beyond your studies implies you don’t have any!
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Ensure your personal statement demonstrates your
enthusiasm for the region.”
My time at college has given me so many skills that I
look forward to using at university, especially the
ability to work independently, debate with my peers,
undertake research, work in groups or teams, and
meet given deadlines.
page 21
Law and Human Rights
I have always been fascenated with law, as it has the
power to make everyone in a given society equal,
since they must follow the same rules regardless of
their gender, class, race or background. I believe a
legal career would be a great opportunity to work
with different people, to understand their problems
and try to improve their different situations.
My interest in the law means I keep up-to-date with
current affairs, particularly around legal developments.
For example, I closely followed the trial of Vincent
Tabak, who was eventually found guilty of the murder
of Joanna Yates. What interested me about this
particular case was that, in order to ensure a fair trial,
information that Tabak owned violent images was
withheld from the Court and media. This meant the
jury based their guilty verdict solely on evidence that
was relevant for the particular case.
To further prepare myself for a law degree, I have
undertaken work experience with a barristers’
chamber, which proved very valuable. I was able to
observe cases in the High Court, as well as being part
of the day-to-day activities. I recently completed a
second period of work experience at my local Citizens
Advice Bureau. This was a very rewarding opportunity
to work with some of the poorest people in the UK,
and has increased my concern that recently proposed
Legal Aid cuts will affect this group of society and
mean they struggle to find legal representation. Both
my work experience opportunities, which allowed me
to see the legal profession at work firsthand, and
observe those who most need help in society, have
deepened my commitment to study law at university.
I am undertaking essay-based A-levels, which are
providing an excellent foundation to a future study of
law. My A-level Philosophy and Ethics has given me
an opportunity to debate moral issues of increasing
complexity, from euthanasia to war. My A-level
Business Studies has given me a good grounding in
the basics of business law, with a particular focus on
patents and copyright, while my A-level Psychology
has given me valuable insights into the human
condition.
page 22
I enjoy debating and am captain of the school debate
club, so have represented my school at local and
regional competitions. I have good public speaking
skills which will help my future career when having to
speak up in a courtroom. Outside of my academic
studies, I play hockey and relish being part of team,
which I think will help when working in law on
resolving cases. I also have an interest in human
rights so belong to Amnesty International and meet
with members of a local Amnesty International group,
where we discuss issues such as human trafficking
and child poverty.
The opportunity to study law at university excites me.
I feel very passionate about the subject and am
committed to succeed. I thank you for taking the time
to consider my application.
Strengths
n
Work experience is something which admissions
tutors notice, especially for a competitive degree
like law.
n Debating experience is also very relevant for this
subject area.
Weaknesses
n
A spelling mistake in the first line will not impress!
You must proof read carefully.
n You do not need to thank admissions tutors at the
end of your personal statement – it looks a bit
creepy!
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Remember to consider what is happening in the
news. This shows you have an interest in the world
around you, particularly if you can begin to identify
legal issues and how the law impacts on individuals
and on the public.”
Literature
I am applying to study English literature.
As a child, I was always tucked into bed with a story, be
it Goldilocks and The Three Bears or an invented tale
from my mum’s imagination. Once I could read and
write, I was either lost in novels or spending my time
writing my own stories. That a book can transport you
from a boring afternoon to Enid Blyton’s Magic
Faraway Tree has always excited me, so it is no
surprise that I love English and wish to study it at
university.
As part of my A-Level English Literature, I have been
introduced to interesting texts, which have taken me
on journeys that I could otherwise never experience. I
enjoy studying novels, plays and poetry. In fact, in
addition to the books I have studied at school, one of
my favourite poets is Carol Ann Duffy. I particularly
enjoy her collection Rapture, but also admire the
feminist stance in a lot of her works, such as The
World’s Wife. Out of my A-level subjects, I feel English
literature is my strongest, which is down to the keen
interest in the subject that I have shown from a young
age. Although I have not decided on a definite career
aspiration, I know a degree in English covers a range
of topics, such as creative writing and language study,
so I feel a possibility could be teaching or journalism.
Within my A-level English Literature, I have enjoyed
studying A Streetcar Named Desire, works by
Shakespeare and Tennyson’s poems, which have
shown me many different writing styles. My strength in
this subject is my ability to write essays fluently, while
including detailed knowledge of texts I have studied.
However, my broad range of A-level subjects, which
include German, Psychology and Art, have given me
further strengths, such as learning a language and
developing a deeper understanding of the German
culture, a different way to express my opinions in
creative work in art and a variety of ways of thinking
and learning through psychology.
I was disappointed not to be Head Girl but my position
of Deputy Head Girl has made me a voice for the
student body, and given me an experience of a
responsible role that I can use later in life. Outside of
school, I am very interested in the theatre, so have
participated in, and worked on, several productions at
my local theatre over the last four years, which has
built on my confidence in performing in front of an
audience. I have undertaken volunteer work, working
with disabled children and young children in
medium-sized groups at the theatre, which enabled me
to improve my skills in team-building, and in managing
and leading groups in a demanding setting.
I have always enjoyed netball, so am a member of my
local club, as well as playing for my school. Over the
years I have competed in competitions, as well as part
in a ‘netball marathon’ for a local charity. These
activities outside of school have made me realise that,
as a student, I want to get fully involved in university
life, such as joining a student theatre society or writing
for the student newspaper, as well as continuing with
netball.
I look forward to studying English literature at
university-level because the range of genres and
authors available to study entices me, and I believe it
will be an enjoyable and exciting course that will help
me in whatever career path I choose.
Strengths
n
Writing well about texts you are studying
demonstrates passion and ability. You should also
discuss books discovered outside of your studies, as
this shows a real motivation to read.
n Referencing other subjects, and how they enhance
your engagement with literary texts, is a strength.
Remember that literature doesn’t happen in
isolation.
Weaknesses
n
The student could have used a better opening
sentence.
n Try to avoid comments that could be perceived as
negative. The student didn’t need to say she was
disappointed about not being Head Girl but that it
was an honour to be made Deputy Head Girl.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Many literature applicants talk about books they liked
as a child and, although this is nice (and it is true that
people tend to develop a love of reading early in life)
you don’t need to start at the beginning! Admissions
selectors are interested in how you are developing as a
reader, so try to include what you have been reading
and thinking about recently.”
page 23
Mathematics
I find mathematics a fascinating subject, as it is the
sole basis on which physical and theoretical theories
are made, and provides the proof for all these
theories. It intrigues me that, with the right numbers
and application, anything can be achieved, like using
a mathematical proof to define Sir Isaac Newton’s
three laws of motion.
My A-level Mathematics has cemented my belief that
mathematics is the foundation of modern, everyday
life, and that every aspect of mathematics is
beneficial in some way. As part of my A-level studies,
for example, I have particularly enjoyed looking at how
statistics can help with handling data and using it to
predict future measurements, like weather
forecasting. My A-level Mathematics has helped me
look at everyday problems in a more logical way. Last
summer I volunteered in a local charity shop and, for
the last year, I have held a part-time job in Next.
These roles really showed me how mathematics can
be applied to simple everyday situations, like money
handling and stock control.
Since my first year in high school, I have been
involved in the UKMT Maths Challenge each year,
and received the silver award on many occasions.
Last summer I also attended a Maths Summer
School.
Inside and outside of school, I enjoy working in a
team or group as I have good inter-personal skills.
I play cricket for my local team and we all work
together well, complementing each other’s abilities.
I have participated in other sports including
basketball, football and athletics. At university I would
be interested in taking part in sports, which have not
been offered at my school or in my local area.
Last year I achieved the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze
Award, which demonstrates that I am committed,
responsible and hard working. I also play the
saxophone to grade 7 level and, at university, would
be interested in joining or setting up a jazz society.
At university, I am looking forward to expanding my
mathematics knowledge in topics like differential
equations and statistics, as well as learning new
subjects offered at university-level such as
cryptography and mathematical finance.
page 24
Currently, at school, I am tutoring a year 10 pupil with
her GCSE Mathematics. As well as being a rewarding
experience for me, I have helped this pupil a great
deal and teachers say that I have boosted her
confidence in mathematics. This has given me
invaluable experience in teaching another person
about a subject that I love, as well as helping to
develop my organisational skills. This activity has
made me consider a future career in teaching.
However, I believe mathematics to be an admirable
discipline and feel that studying this subject at
university can lead to many diverse career paths. I am
keen to further develop the depth and range of my
mathematical knowledge with this in mind.
Strengths
n
The student demonstrates passion for the subject.
Do not sell yourself short, show the admission
selectors that you have interest in your chosen
field.
n The student has given thought to their future,
talking about hobbies they would like to try or to
set up at university, as well as possible careers. It is
always good to be forward-thinking in your
personal statement.
Weaknesses
n
More detail could have been given about the
UKMT Maths Challenge and Maths Summer
School, as these are relevant to the chosen degree.
n The student does not mention other A-levels.
Although not essential, an interest in other subjects
beyond mathematics could be useful, especially if
they complement your studies in mathematics
(eg A-level Further Maths or Physics).
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Ensure you relate your qualifications and skills to the
field of mathematics.”
Modern Languages
“A different language is a different vision of life.” This
quote, by Italian film director Federico Fellini, has
inspired me to study foreign languages, as I know it
will be an exciting challenge that will open many
doors. Since my first Spanish lesson, I have been
fascinated by other languages, meaning a desire to
study modern languages at university came naturally.
I love being able to communicate with people from
around the world, and to also study the culture,
society, and history of a country. I am currently
studying A-levels in Spanish, French and English
Literature. As part of my A-level Spanish, I became
fascinated by Guernica, how it’s still a powerful
anti-war symbol after eighty years and its significance
to the Spanish Civil War and Spanish people. During
my exchange trip to Madrid, I thoroughly enjoyed
being totally immersed in the culture and language,
and being able to use my language skills to their full
potential with native speakers. I found being
surrounded by a different language and style of living
very enriching.
As part of my A-level English Literature, I particularly
enjoy studying plays and the theatre, so have been to
see productions of Hamlet, A Streetcar Named Desire
and Warhorse. My A-level studies have increased my
confidence in looking at different linguistic styles,
including the rhyme used in Spanish playwright
Lorca’s Blood Wedding. I’ve also seen productions by
Onatti, a company that produce plays in foreign
languages. Understanding and interpreting these
performances has increased my confidence in my
language ability.
At sixth form, I attend an after-school French club, so
regularly meet with a native speaker provided by my
sixth form. This has dramatically improved my ability
to express opinions on subjects orally, as well as my
accuracy in the spoken language. I look forward to
attending, or starting, similar clubs at university.
which relate to language study. For example, recently I
led a session on useful phrases in French, so taught
my Guides ways to greet people, as well as questions
such as “Where is the train station?” and “Can I order
a coffee?” My session particularly focused on
pronunciation, to ensure they were able to say each
phrase proficiently.
In addition, I am a member of St John Ambulance,
which has provided me with opportunities to push
myself in a range of situations. This role tests my
capabilities and has helped me become an efficient
and supportive team member. Such voluntary work
has taught me the importance of being well prepared,
including undertaking thorough research, giving
group-appropriate presentation skills, and the need to
self review your work. These are all important skills.
I plan to take a gap year before starting university and
have been looking at opportunities to teach English
abroad to children. I would like to go to a Latin
American country, like Brazil or Mexico, to further
improve my Spanish language skills before university.
By studying modern languages at university, I look
forward to broadening my horizons and learning new
life skills along the way.
Strengths
n
It is good to show that thought has been given to
gap year activities, as this demonstrates
determination and good organisation skills.
n It is sensible to discuss various A-level topics if they
relate closely to the course(s) being applied for.
Weaknesses
n
Make sure you get your facts right – Brazil is a
Portuguese-speaking country!
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Tell us what modern language you would like to
study! This is a valuable starting point to develop your
statement further, explaining the reasons that made
you want to acquire or improve language skills.”
I also enjoy listening to foreign music and watching
foreign films - Gregoire is one of my favourite French
musicians, and I have watched Amelie many times!
However, outside of my studies, I take part in a range
of activities which allow me to balance my school
work with other interests. I volunteer at my local Girl
Guides, as a young leader, so help to organise weekly
sessions and have been the leader for some activities
page 25
Nursing
I believe nursing is a fulfilling career with the potential
to benefit many people, bring a sense of job
satisfaction and make a difference. Since childhood
I have enjoyed caring for people and feel I have the
patience and determination, as well as the
interpersonal skills, for a demanding career which
requires interaction with people in stressful situations.
My BTEC National Diploma provides a sound basis
upon which to develop understanding throughout my
degree.
During secondary school, I completed a first aid course
with St. John’s Ambulance, which first sparked my
interest in health care. Since then I have been keen
to learn about issues relating to health, such as
preventing and treating illnesses, and techniques in
caring for patients. I have always been interested in
both natural and social sciences, and how factors like
the environment affect health care. I purposely chose
GCSE, AS-level and BTEC subjects which will help in
my career aims and course choice of nursing.
For the last year, I have worked in my local hospital as
a ward volunteer. I have found this interesting and
rewarding, and it has given me a feel for the daily
challenges of working in a hospital. I have also learnt
the importance of patience when serving the elderly,
who are less able to communicate, and developed my
interpersonal skills. I am still involved with St John’s
Ambulance and occasionally work with them as an
events volunteer. I am looking forward to getting more
involved in the future, particularly at university, where
I hope to gain more confidence in working under
pressure.
Halfway through my BTEC, I attended a nursing taster
course at the University of Essex. This gave a broader
understanding of both the course and the career, and
confirmed my decision that nursing is for me. This was
a great experience, and helped me decide that Essex
would be one of my choices on my UCAS application.
I am confident that a course which combines
theoretical study and practical work will suit me.
I believe going to university will provide skills that
enable me to be the best nurse I can. University will
be challenging but I have been working hard to
achieve my goals and feel confident that I am ready.
I am a hardworking, kind, caring, motivated student
who has a passion for nursing and for helping others.
page 26
My aim to become a fully qualified nurse will help me,
others, and the NHS and other health organisations
throughout the world.
Strengths
n
This student has related their current studies and
extra-curricular activities to their chosen subject
which strengthens their application, especially for a
practical, career-focused course like nursing.
n It is clear the student has carried out research
and it is good to highlight this in your statement.
If you don’t have direct healthcare experience
(for example, most hospitals don’t offer work
or volunteer experience if you are under 18)
then ensure you detail any transferable skills
obtained from other employment (such as retail,
hospitality etc).
Weaknesses
n
The student describes their personal qualities
several times; it can be more effective to
demonstrate them through talking about studies
or activities.
n It is useful to mention relevant university visits or
taster days but not advisable to show favouritism to
specific institutions.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Do your research so you understand what the role of
a nurse is. In your statement, try to demonstrate that
you understand the demands of studying nursing
(long academic year, shift work in clinical placements
etc) and the academic rigour required. Admissions
selectors are looking for nurses who are
compassionate and have the ability to manage a full
academic workload – it’s a big ask!”
Please note: if you are applying for occupational
therapy or physiotherapy, you do not apply through
UCAS but directly to a university. As part of this
application, you will be expected to produce a
personal statement and should ensure it
demonstrates your motivation and experience to
study this subject.
Philosophy
Asking philosophical questions is part of what it
means to be human. And being able to analyse moral
and fundamental dilemmas - including the impact
they have on our everyday life - is a crucial tool, which
helps us to further understand the behaviour of the
human race. The perception, acquired through the
study of philosophy, can contribute to our search for
happiness and the good life, our search for what the
Greeks called ‘eudemonia’. This is why I believe it is
essential to study philosophy.
I find philosophy endlessly relevant to modern day life,
so automatically apply philosophical thought to
everyday life. For example, when watching a film or TV,
I consider the notions of cause and effect that lead a
character to commit an act, then assess whether that
individual can be held morally responsible. I have
continued to develop my range of thought by keeping
up with current debates, such as the debates about
science and religion surrounding such figures as
Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. Since
making the leap from GCSE to A-level, I find my
attitude towards work and education has changed;
I now have a passion and natural curiosity for the
subject of philosophy, so believe studying it at
university will open doors to my future.
Strengths
n
The student has a keen interest for the subject and
presents this well in their personal statement.
n The first paragraph is very strong. Remember that
your opening lines are the most important as they
need to capture the reader’s attention.
Weaknesses
n
The statement is too short. It gives the impression
that the student has little to say about themselves.
It is important that you make the most of this
chance to sell yourself!
n The student does not elaborate further on their
A-levels or their experience in Africa, which is a
real shame and a missed opportunity.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Read widely! Try to read texts outside of your school
or college work, although don’t pretend you’ve read
books when you haven’t...”
Outside of school, I volunteer in my community
through my church, serving dinners for the elderly
and undertook a volunteering placement in Africa
last summer.
In terms of a future career, I believe philosophy
opens many doors thanks to the wide range of skills
you gain. I look forward to the opportunity to study
philosophy at a higher level.
page 27
Politics and International Relations
Politics is a subject that I feel very passionate about,
and I firmly believe that studying this subject at
university will help my passion grow even further.
My enthusiasm for politics has flourished over the last
few years, as I have realised that you need to learn
more about the world in which you live, and
understand how individuals in society are governed by
multiple levels of government. With this in mind,
during the UK’s 2010 General Election, I analysed
and scrutinised the party manifestos of the three
major UK political parties, so that I could fully
understand their vision for taking the country forward,
as well as see how these plans would affect myself,
and the society that I live in.
This passion that I hold for politics has allowed me to
do well in my AS-levels, and gain a range of skills that
I believe will fully prepare me for further study of
politics. I am enjoying all my A-level subjects, but
particularly A-level Politics. Throughout the last year I
extended my wider reading with books including Tony
Blair’s autobiography, Alistair Campbell’s The Blair
Years, and The Rise of the Labour Party 1893-1931,
which allowed me to widen my political knowledge on
how the Labour Party in the British political system
came into existence.
As parliament reconvened in the autumn, I sat in the
public gallery of the House of Commons to hear the
Prime Minister’s televised statement. I found it
fascinating to see how modern politics works
alongside these traditional procedures, as well as
getting a firsthand experience of the working day
our politicians. I arranged this tour after gaining
valuable work experience through a four-day
voluntary internship with my constituency MP. During
this internship, I shadowed my MP on appointments
around the constituency, seeing for myself the full
array of issues that our politicians have to deal with
on a daily basis. I asked many questions during this
time and gained clarification on areas of discussion
I was uncertain about. This voluntary work has
expanded my depth of knowledge in differing sectors
of the political world.
Inside, and outside of school, I’ve been involved in
many theatrical productions, including performing
onstage but also working backstage in lighting, sound
and stage management. Taking the title role in my
page 28
school’s production of Kiss Me Kate was a fantastic
experience, which helped me to become confident in
a range of situations, including campaigning to be
Head Girl. For this position, I took part in debates and
speeches in front of the entire school, giving me
valuable experience of political electioneering.
Although I did not become Head Girl, I am proud to
have been elected to the post of Senior Prefect,
which includes responsibilities such as managing my
own group of prefects and leading younger years of
the school into assembly.
I want to study politics at university in order to fully
explore politics in the UK and other major countries,
and the context of international conflicts over power
and resources. I look forward to the academic and
personal challenges that going to university will
present.
Strengths
n
The student’s interest in politics is clearly
demonstrated by their extra-curricular activities and
involvement in politics.
n The student’s enthusiasm really shines through,
and it is good that they highlight skills learnt from
their involvement in theatre and campaigning to
become Head Girl, which they can no doubt use at
university.
Weaknesses
n
The student says they gained a selection of skills
from their A-levels but does not describe or
elaborate further on these.
n There is little evidence of an interest in
international relations. If applying for a joint degree,
try not to focus too much on one part.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Keep up-to-date with current affairs – it will
help in your personal statement and shows your
interest in the subject.”
Psychology
Since I began studying my A-level Psychology, my
interests in the diverse, complex theories surrounding
this subject have grown tremendously. I have
particularly enjoyed my latest piece of coursework,
which was a project where I investigated the
development of children’s language before starting
school. I enjoyed designing and carrying out my own
research on this topic, at a local playschool, and
followed careful procedures to collect data and draw
my conclusions. This research project was an
interesting way to study child language acquisition as
a psychological area, and gave me a clear insight into
the topic.
I am also enjoying my other A-Levels in English
Language and French. Within my A-level English
Language, I found our classes on the origins of the
English language, looking at how we acquire our
language skills and whether it is innate or learnt, to
be fascinating. This helped my studies in A-level
Psychology, and I contributed well to classroom
discussions and debates on the topic. For my A-level
French, although I have found learning a foreign
language to be difficult, I have persevered and am
proud to now be able to communicate with native
French speakers. Last year I took part in a school
exchange to France, which was a valuable experience
that allowed me to see another culture. Last year
I did AS-level Biology, which I found to be an
excellent companion to my A-level Psychology,
especially when studying subjects like the causes
of depression and stress.
At school, I am always keen to be involved in student
life, so am producing our first ever Year 13 Leavers
Yearbook. Gathering student profiles and photos has
been time consuming and required a lot of
organisation, but the finished book is of high quality
and I hope will be appreciated by my peers for years
to come.
For the last two years, I have held a part-time job as a
waitress in a local restaurant, which requires me to
manage my time efficiently, work well under pressure
at high speed, and be part of a busy and successful
team. This role has also ensured I develop good
communication skills, and I have grown in confidence
through this employment.
I am looking forward to studying psychology at
university. I do not have definite career plans in mind
at present, but feel the skills I will gain through this
degree will help me in whatever I do in the future. I
want to study psychology in depth and am excited at
the idea of engaging with the various aspects of such
a diverse subject at degree-level.
Strengths
n
Discussing involvement in youth awards, like the
Duke of Edinburgh Award, is an excellent way of
illustrating teamwork skills.
n It can be effective to talk about a project you have
undertaken as part of your studies, especially if it is
relevant work that you are particularly proud of or
interested in.
Weaknesses
n
The student doesn’t write that they wish to study
psychology at university until the very end. You
should try to state what you are applying for and
why in your opening paragraph.
n Many students don’t have ‘definite career plans’
but it looks better if you don’t declare this openly
in your personal statement.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Psychology is a broad and exciting subject –
make sure you demonstrate your enthusiasm in
your personal statement.”
Outside of my studies, I have achieved my Silver Duke
of Edinburgh Award and plan to gain Gold level while
at university. I particularly like the expedition element
of this award, as I enjoy working as part of team and
the sense of satisfaction after completing a physically
demanding trip.
page 29
Sociology and related courses
I have been fascinated with law and order, and how
this impacts on society, from a young age. I have a
particular interest in related issues, such as what
leads people to commit crime and the counter effects
that crime has on society as a whole, as well as on
the individual.
I have chosen A-level subjects that reflect my keen
interest in the nature of society. My A-level Sociology
has helped me develop my knowledge and
understanding of what drives a society in one
direction or another. As I have a particular interest in
law and order, my focus within my A-level Sociology
has been in the nature of criminal behaviour - what
makes people commit crime, what is the impact of
background, upbringing and gender on a criminal, and
how do acts of crime affect society?
I have found my studies in English literature have
enabled me to develop a strong ability to analyse
information, ideas and personalities. This has helped
my study of major texts, which have themselves
changed our society. I have enjoyed looking at
authors such as Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens and
Jane Austen. I believe my A-level Drama and Theatre
Studies has given me the opportunity to look at
theatre in practice, as well as researching theories on
the influence of performance and analysis of human
behaviour. Watching live theatre, and seeing for
myself how work by actors and writers plays on our
collective consciousness, and on our shared norms
and values within society, has been a real inspiration
to me.
I have a part-time job, outside of my A-levels, working
two evenings a week in a retail store. This has really
helped my customer service skills, as I have to
interact with all sorts of different people. Again this
job allows me to see society in action.
I am deeply interested in criminology and sociology,
and I think it’s vital to study something genuinely
fascinating. I have had first-hand contact with
offenders from my work at the local prison, as I have
been part of the chaplaincy team there for two years.
My work here involves assessing the risk of self-harm
and suicide amongst prisoners, as well as generally
providing support. Within this role, I used to adhering
to a strict code of conduct and behaviour. This
experience ignited a passion in me to work with
page 30
offenders and, in particular, repeat offenders. I believe
this work has given me a good understanding of the
effects of crime but that this is just a small part of a
much bigger subject, so I am really looking forward to
broadening my understanding of criminology and
studying the subject at university-level.
I am interested in the areas of restorative justice and
re-offending rates in terms of future career, although I
believe my university studies will reveal other career
options to me. I am eager to study this subject further,
as I wish to combine my personal experience with an
academic understanding in a way that can actually
effect change in people’s lives. I believe a degree in
criminology can open many diverse doors for me, and
I look forward to the next step in my journey.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read
my application, I hope you can see my potential.
Strengths
n
Work experience and voluntary work demonstrates
both focus and commitment on the part of the
student.
n There is evidence that the student has read around
and understands the subject area.
Weaknesses
n
Each paragraph begins with ‘I’; this is very repetitive
and shows a lack of stylistic consideration.
n The last sentence is unnecessary and could have
been put to better use.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Admissions selectors like personal statements for
criminology that don’t talk about forensics or
attempting to ‘solve the crime problem’, which are all
detective work rather than criminology. Make sure you
know your subject area as that will be more
impressive to admissions selectors!”
Sports and Exercise Science
Sports and exercise science provides a fantastic
opportunity to learn about performance
enhancement; be it improving fitness, breaking a
world record or winning a competition. Professional
sports players strive to reach their full potential and I
believe the opportunity to learn how an individual can
reach their peak is both fascinating and inspiring.
Studying A-level Physical Education has developed
my understanding of human anatomy, and I have built
strong analytical skills, particularly when considering
elite performance and health. There has been
substantial independent research as part of my
course, and I have thoroughly enjoyed taking
responsibility for my learning, as well as working to
deadlines. As part of my course, I was able to attend
a residential summer school for sports science at my
local university, which gave me a good introduction to
university life. In addition, studying A-level Biology has
improved my ability to conduct effective experiments
and ensure I develop a keen eye for detail when
collecting, analysing and presenting data for my final
research project.
One of my favourite athletes is heptathlete, Jessica
Ennis. I am particularly interested in how her body
copes with seven punishing events over just two days,
how it adapts, and how she trains effectively. I have
also been fascinated to see how she handled the
psychological pressure of being the favourite at a
home Olympics, which I have looked at further as part
of my A-level Psychology. Psychology has required
me to adapt to very different styles of learning,
enabling me to build effective written communication
skills and develop the ability to extract and apply
relevant information from a range of resources to my
academic work. This course has also given me an
alternative perspective to my other studies.
Last year, I was a part of a sports programme
designed to encourage primary school children to
participate in activities that improve their fitness. I was
given one piece of miniature gym equipment and a
group of five; not only did I try to make the session
beneficial for their health but encouraged them to
take various roles such as that of an official or coach,
eg by placing them in control of timing or
encouraging the group to support the participant and
then provide feedback. This experience was very
valuable, as I was able to truly see the psychological
effects others have on a performer. I now volunteer at
a local primary school, teaching sport to pupils aged
7-9, and coach the Under-12s team at my football
club. These responsibilities have enabled me to pass
on my love of sport, as well as taught me the
importance of reliability, commitment and effective
communication with others.
In my spare time I play in my local football club and
compete in my local volleyball league, which gives me
a good balance with my academic study.
During my A-level studies, I have learnt a lot of new
information that has both interested me and
increased my passion for sport. I truly feel that I have
learnt a lot through my time at college. I know that
studying sports and exercise science at
university-level will increase my knowledge tenfold,
and enable me to have a detailed knowledge of the
subject for when I enter the working world.
Strengths
n
The student supports their interest in sports
science with evidence of extra-curricular
information, such as coaching, which will be
impressive to admissions selectors.
n It is good to mention any previous experience of
visiting universities, such as a summer school or
A-level conference, as this demonstrates a keen
interest.
Weaknesses
n
The student is clearly focused on the subject which
is important, but they fail to present themselves as
a well-rounded individual by not mentioning
interests outside of sports.
n The student could have elaborated further on skills
they have gained through involvement in football
and volleyball.
Top tip from an Essex admissions selector
“Be sure to clearly articulate your interest in sport and
demonstrate your understanding that studying sport
and exercise science is about developing scientific
knowledge and skills.”
page 31
What not to write: an example of a personal
statement with several weaknesses
Ever since my first aeroplane flight at just three
months old, I have loved travelling and exploring
different parts of the world. I would like to live and
work abroad, so believe a university course in modern
languages would suit me best and fit with my future
career plans.
I am studying for my A-levels in French, Spanish and
Drama. I visited France on an exchange programme
last year, where I was able to experience the culture,
education and home life, as well as acquiring valuable
language skills. I am most enjoying my A-levels in
French and Spanish as my tutors are excellent and
really encourage a lively discussion in the classroom.
This is in complete contrast to my A-level Drama tutor
who stifles our creativity with his difficult attitude.
I have also undertaken an AS-level in History but
dropped this to focus on my other A-levels, as I know
I want to study languages at university and not bother
with history.
Outside of school, I am a keen boxer, as it helps me
to keep fit and release my anger. However, for the
past two years, I have dedicated myself to my A-level
studies, so have not participated in boxing, or any
other interests and hobbies. Lately, since my
eighteenth birthday, I have taken to socialising with
my older sister by visiting local nightclubs, pubs and
bars, and have been enjoying meeting new people
and making new friends. I am looking forward to
embracing the nightlife at university. At university
I would also be interested in joining a film club, as
I like discussing movies, and unfortunately there is no
such club at my current school.
I have yet to visit any universities but will be doing so
at the soonest available date. However, I believe
strongly in the importance of languages as an
enhancement to future career opportunities, and
I aspire to pursue a career which allows me to make
use of my language skills. I would be interested in
working as a translator or interpreter for an
international organisation, although I have also
thought about teaching abroad, as I like to experience
other cultures.
page 32
I feel it is very important to have the ability to
communicate with people from other parts of the
world and am keen to further my foreign language
abilities in higher education. I know I would benefit
greatly from the opportunities offered through a
university degree in modern languages.
Where did they go wrong?
The personal statement does have some good points,
as the student displays their interest in modern
languages and touches upon future career plans.
However, many parts are negative and should have
been left out.
n Don’t mention any dislike or lack of respect
towards your teachers or employers.
n Don’t make comments that are negative, such as
not wanting to study history at university. This
sentence is not relevant and, indeed, many
language courses include the history of the country
you are learning a language for! Make sure you do
your research into your chosen course(s).
n Saying that boxing helps you release your anger
makes the student sound rather scary! It is good to
mention the benefits of hobbies and interests, so
try not to make vacuous statements about
socialising with family and friends.
n Although it is good to talk about future plans and
interests at university, remember that academic
selectors are reading your personal statement so
remarks about the ‘nightlife’ at university are less
relevant to them.
n Comments about how there is no film club at
school are also negative, and admissions selectors
might wonder why the student did not start their
own film club at school.
n Admitting that you have not done any research and
visited universities does not sound very impressive.
References
You school or college will write your reference which,
along with your personal statement, admissions tutors
value highly when making decisions.
Your reference may be written by more than one
person, usually your head of sixth form or head of
department, in conjunction with your subject tutors.
Most references will talk about you from the teacher’s
perspective; how you work academically, how you
interact with other students and teachers, for
example. Your reference will also include your
teacher’s predictions of your final grades at A-level.
Most references also contain the following:
n information about your performance in individual
modules; for example, your tutor may highlight if
you were one mark away from an A grade;
n your proposed career plan, if you have one, so
make sure your tutors are aware of your career
ideas and any work experience you have;
n their opinion of your suitability for a particular
profession (eg a caring nature for nursing);
n anything that may have happened to you to affect
your academic work (eg an ongoing illness);
n any personal circumstances which have affected,
or will affect, your performance, for example the
illness or death of a close relative; and
n information about any special needs that you may
have, such as a disability or learning difficulties,
and how you cope with these.
If you have an issue that you want universities to be
aware of when considering your application - such as
your grades being affected by illness - this should be
in your reference, rather than your personal
statement, so do discuss this with your tutors.
Your reference is your tutor’s second opinion of you,
and will mostly have an academic focus. Most referees
focus on your academic successes and potential at
university, and how you have progressed in your
subjects. A reference is almost always a positive record
of your performance and academic abilities: remember
your tutors want you to get a university place and are
writing a reference to help you!
Information for teachers and
careers advisors
The University of Essex Marketing and Student
Recruitment Office offers talks and workshops on a
range of topics related to higher education. Aimed at
students, teachers and guidance advisors, and those
on access courses, these include:
n Why go to university?
n Choosing a course and university
n Applying to university
(tailored for students and/or parents)
n Writing a strong personal statement
(with real examples)
n Student finance and budgeting
n Student life
In addition, we can provide other presentations
tailored to the specific needs of your school/college.
If you would like a representative to deliver a talk,
please contact us.
T 01206 873987
E schools-link@essex.ac.uk
Additional materials
This guide is available in an electronic format, please
contact our Marketing and Student Recruitment Office.
T 01206 873987
E schools-link@essex.ac.uk
We also produce a Reference Writing Guide for
teachers and advisors completing UCAS references.
Please use the contact details above to request a
copy or for any further information.
Find out more
If you have questions about any aspect of admissions
at the University of Essex, please contact:
Undergraduate Admissions Office
University of Essex
Wivenhoe Park
Colchester CO4 3SQ
T 01206 873666
E admit@essex.ac.uk
www.essex.ac.uk
Prospectus hotline (24 hours): +44 (0)1206 873778