1. home and garden

Your
F.L.G.C.A.
magazine
Fairlands
Liddington Hall
Gravetts Lane
February 2015
WORPLESDON PARISH COUNCIL
FLG COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION
Web Site:
www.parish-council.com/worplesdon
Web Site: www.fairlands.org.uk
President
Vice Presidents
Chairman
Vice Chairman
Min. Secretary
Hon. Treasurer
Auditor
Kerry Butler 236975
Helen Smart 826443
Amanda Renshaw
Laurence Edwards 826517
Vacant
Paul Kassell
Helen Smart
Stewart & Co.
Chairman Dr Paul Cragg 531597
Vice-Chairman Mr Chris Venables 233803
Mr Terry Cater .............................. 232819
Mr Robert Clark ................ 07913790138
Mr Mike Dillon ................................. 235263
Mr David Elms ................................. 234414
Mr Dominic Howard-Jones ........ 234239
Management Council
Mrs Jan Messinger ............ 07761589768
Elected Members Shirley Brown, Valerie Corpes,
Bob Panton, Derek Smith
Mr Bob McShee .............................. 825907
Hall Bookings
Mrs Beth Nagle .............................. 232036
Mrs Sandra Morgan ...................... 233344
Hall Booking Team 07932141405
e-mail fairlandshallbookings@hotmail.co.uk
Membership
Mrs Janette Panton........................ 236929
Bob Willis 234667
Mr Derek Slaymaker ...................... 828213
Mr Victor Searle .............................. 825424
FLG CLUB (registered)
Chairman
Secretary
Treasurer
Committee
Hall Rep.
Mr Richard Watson ........... 07769312496
Amanda Renshaw 852134
Keith Humphries
Susan Flashman
Terry Davies, Derek Smith,
Gareth Mancey, Andy Buckle,
Nick Batchelor, Brian Nakiewicz
Hall Booking Team
Mr Roger Welch .............................. 233525
Clerk:
Mrs Gaynor White .......................... 300094
Admin Assistant:
Mrs Lindsay Venables ................. 233803
GUILDFORD BOROUGH COUNCIL
FLGCA Magazine
Editor
Deputy Editor
Printer
Accounts
Worplesdon Ward
David Elms......................................... 234414
Sheila Willis 234667
sheilawillis@hotmail.co.uk
38 Gumbrells Close, Fairlands
Tim Willis
Alan Dillon
Bob Willis 234667
robert.willis57@ntlworld.com
Bob McShee ................................. 825907
Iseult Roche ........................ 07592 435232
SURREY COUNTY COUNCIL
Worplesdon Ward
Keith Witham ..................... 01483 235292
email: keithwitham1@hotmail.co.uk
Staplers
Alastair Buchan, Margaret Dunkley, Joan Mead,
Frances Palmer, Jacqui Purves, Janet Ray,
Laura & Julian Dahl, Tony & Gina O’Toole.
Reliefs: Chris Peacock, Laurie & Jane Edwards
CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBERS:
Dial-a-Ride .....................................................................444275
Dog Warden................................................................. 444374
Dumped Cars – GBC ....................................................445081
Fairlands Medical Centre ...........................................594250
Fairlands Sub Post Office ......................................... 232058
Fairwood Helpers (10–12 am) ..................................237619
FLG Club ...........................................................................234568
Guildford Borough Council ......................................505050
Guildford Library ..........................................................568496
SWT Ranger (Mark Havler) ......................... 07968 832509
Police (non emergency) ................................................... 101
Neighbourhood Watch ..............................................233344
Surrey County Council ...............................................518800
Surrey Crime-Stoppers ................................. 0800 555111
Worplesdon School ....................................................232126
Distribution Co-ordinator
Judi Pollard and Roger Lux 851065
Street Distributors
Bill Adey, Carolyn Baker, Beryl Barton, Don Brealey,
Gill & David Brown, Joan Carter, Mrs Collins,
Brian Christmas, Laura & Julian Dahl,
Sylvia & Stephen Dudley, Jenny Helyar,
Chris Humphries, Ian & Rosie McCrimmon, Julie
Noble, Doreen Smith, William Welch, Pat Weller,
Natalie, Seb & Frankie Bevans and Valerie Wild.
Reliefs: Joan Mead, Brian Smith,
Tony & Gina O’Toole, Margaret Dunkley,
Laurie and Jane Edward, Mary Fuller,
Michael Mayne, Jacqui Purves, Jill Wilkins.
2
F.L.G.C.A.
The Magazine of the Fairlands, Liddington Hall
and Gravetts Lane Community Association
Web site: www.fairlands.org.uk
(The FLGCA is a Registered Charity - No. 305150)
F L G Community Association
Fairlands Community Centre
Fairlands Avenue, Fairlands
GUILDFORD GU3 3NA
Welcome
to the February 2015 Edition
Editors Letter
Dear Readers
I am writing this on January 22nd and the sun
is shining brilliantly outside. Bob and I have had
some beautiful walks in January with sunshine
and although cold they have been very
invigorating. We try to end with a cuppa
somewhere, maybe a garden centre where I stock
up on wild bird food.
No longer, it seems, are birds going to be
happy with a bit of bread and a few leftover
cooked spuds bunged out on the lawn. Hey these
are birds of the 21st century after all. We have
dangling feeders with the best shelled peanuts.
To attract finches we have nyger seeds, and of
course the wild bird seed mix must have millet
and chopped nuts as one with just wheat, maize
and corn in, is really not the ticket! The robin has
his own bag of goodies and then topped up with
mealworms. Phew are mealworms expensive!
Next are the suet rolls and the ½ coconuts with
fat and delights in such as raisins and cranberries.
I did have a go at making my own fatty snacks for
the birds but that didn’t work out much less in
cost then buying them. I was supposed to have
the fun and gratification of making one’s own but
an attempt at that was not for this woman.
I buy a bag of cheap sultanas and chop
up an apple now and then for the
blackbirds. So my little feather friends
love coming to view and taste the A la
Carte menu at 38. The nuthatch and the
woodpeckers join in with all the others,
including the 15 wood pigeons that
arrive by coach! So far the parakeets
prefer another garden along Envis
Way somewhere. I see them make for a large oak
tree up in corner of the field and swoop down
there for their nosh. What an expense! Spend
more on them then our food. Only joking of
course but we are having egg and chips for dinner!
Bob was in the top shed the other day and there
was a huge crash. No, he had both legs firmly on
the floor! At the back of the shed we have potted
plants all covered over in white frost proof sheeting.
He could see the white material bulging and then
going into all sorts of peculiar shapes. He held his
breath, wondering what sort of creature could be
underneath causing this to happen and obviously
struggling to get out of its predicament. Eventually
a black face appeared and there was the neighbours
black and white cat. The cat had fallen of the shed
roof! Amazingly on the southern news the other
night there was a cat that had done exactly the
same by falling of a house roof but he had then
fallen down the chimney and got stuck behind a
boarded up fireplace. The owners were away over
Christmas and this little cat survived for 6 whole
weeks without food or water. Amazing isn’t it.
Boris is out this month on
a blind Valentine date.
He doesn’t have much
luck getting ready
so it seems. I do
hope his date
goes well!!
All for now.
3
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4
A
not let anyone into our houses unless we definitely
know who the person is and are expecting them.
If anyone is concerned about the security of
their house, Bob Panton, who is a Locksmith, has
offered to check this for free in the FLG area. He is
on the FLG Management Committee and his
Parents, who were well known to many of you,
were also active members of the FLG. His advert is
in the Magazine.
Eric Morgan 233344
couple in about
their 50's knocked
on a house in St
Michael's Avenue in the
evening and asked where
the shops were. As the
owner felt these people
must have already seen the
shops to reach the house she correctly shut the
door. This illustrates how important it is that we do
Support the FLGCA and all it does for you!
Y
ou know it’s that time of the year when I
start banging on about the FLGCA and why
it needs supporting.
While lots of clubs are struggling, because of
the sort of organisation we are, we have managed
to survive in the present economic and unsettled
political climate of present times.
How you may ask? - or if your not about to ask I
will tell you. We support and represent to our best
ability, everybody in the FLGCA area.
How do we do that you again may ask? We
provide a Social Club and bar facilities where you
can meet other residents in numerous activities
that are provided by many different organisations
We provide and upkeep (not the Council) of the
playing field for recreation, games and sport,
walkers, dog walkers, picnics in summer, and
generally a healthy outdoor environment.
We provide you with an excellent local
magazine, completely free, keeping you up to date
with current affairs in the area, and what’s going
on. This is all paid for by the FLGCA, and must be
worth the subscription on its own!
Through the committee of the FLGCA we hold
regular meetings with local representatives of
Parish, Borough and County Councils, and are able
to represent the view and feeling of FLGCA
members. Where else can you get that?
Through FLAG (Fairlands Action Group) we
represent residents’ views on any matters in
relation to development of the area, the current
proposals have not gone away completely only
been delayed. They in turn are liasing with other
organisations representing the people of Guildford
Borough, and united form a strong voice which the
Council must listen to, as of course it should.
All this for a miserly maximum of £10 per year
for Full members and £9 for Senior Members, that
is a bargain like no other you have to admit.
If all the people who receive the FLGCA
magazine were to join and support us today we
would double our membership. And that is if only
one member of the household joined. If two joined,
the sky is the limit, and I would be very happy.
If you are already a member, we thank you for
your support, if not,
COME ON, SUPPORT YOU LOCAL
ORGANISATION AND JOIN NOW!
Bob Willis Membership Secretary
5
Readers Letters
Local residents pass on information and air views on issues that affect the community
last Monday and had to have a very expensive
operation to give him a mechanical knee! Thank
goodness the rest of him is in tact as he is a very
much loved member of our family. Although I do
realize its not the drivers fault if an animal suddenly
runs into the road but if that vehicle isn't going so
fast they stand a better chance.
This aside, I still think speed control on Fairlands
is very much an issue which needs to be
addressed. What do other residents think?
From concerned resident of Dynevor Place.
Speeding
Dear Editor
This week everyone locally received a letter from
the council, with a survey regarding parking
around the "area", which I think is interesting but
not sure beneficial to everyone. I was wondering if
anything has been said or done about trying to
reduce the speed people drive around Fairlands?
I am horrified when I see some drivers
approaching and driving away from the
roundabout at a ridiculous speed. There is a sharp
bend in the road where Kiln Meadows meets
Dynevor Place, the amount of times I see people
picking up speed along Kiln Meadows to suddenly
find a sharp bend in the road, and end up almost
on 2 wheels coming round that corner. I for one
would welcome speed humps to slow the traffic
down. We have many elderly people trying to cross
the roads, as well as children, it is a worry with the
speeding vehicles especially during the school run
times. My cat was hit by a car near the roundabout
The tree is back!
Dear Editor
No! Yes it has! A tree has re-appeared on the
small roundabout in Sandpit Heath, it’s a
Portuguese Laurel, which is evergreen. The tree
flowers in spring and has berries in the autumn.
Will the third attempt stand the test of time after
what has happened before?
Previous trees planted have been damaged, run
over and sawn down. We do hope so, third time
lucky, God willing.
The tree was planted at their own expense by
local residents, John and myself from Sandpit
Heath at “Fairylands,” who also intend to plant
some spring bulbs around the base of the tree.
Brian
Letters continued on page 9
6
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7
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8
with old motorcycles). Which brings me to the
reason for writing. I am looking to rent a small
workshop in the area for my woodwork, and I
would be very grateful if any of your readers have
or know of anywhere they might think suitable.
Keep up the goodwork!
A. Harvey (Mr)
Mob. 07958104759 Home. 237328
British Legion Poppy Day
Dear Editor
I would like to thank all the Poppy Sellers who
this year raised £1263.97. This is an increase of
£300 on 2013 for our area and our appreciation
goes to everyone who donated to this very worth
while cause.
Sandra Morgan
Editors Note: Thank you Andrew for your kind
comments for all the magazine team who do give
up many hours in getting the magazine through the
letterbox. Has anyone a suggestion for Andrew in
his quest for finding a small work shop to rent?
Thank you
Dear Editor
I would very much like to thank the kind
gentleman who gave me a lift home with a heavy
load from Rokers farm shop on Wednesday the
21st January.
Ann Hillyer
Thank you for the magazine
Dear Editor
I live in Gravetts Lane and am a regular reader of
your excellent magazine, and wish to thank all
concerned in the production of this.
I keep bees and attach for your consideration an
article and a couple of ‘photos on beekeeping
which I hope people would find interesting.
Hugh C. Gravetts Lane
Looking for a Workshop
Dear Editor,
Firstly I would like to congratulate you and the
team for all the continuing hard work producing
'our' local magazine.
I am a Carpenter who lives locally on the
Aldershot road junction with Liddington Hall Drive.
Many of your readers may well have seen me at
the front of my property working away on a
cabinet or two (or more often than not tinkering
Editors note: Thank you Hugh. You will find Hugh’s
article on page 13
Add – a – Letter
Add a letter to each of the words on the left and
then make an anagram to fit the clue on the right.
Example:
CHAT
PATCH
REPAIR
DRAW
-- -- -- -- --
TROPHY
BEAK
-- -- -- -- --
SHATTER
NAME
-- -- -- -- --
MINISTER’S HOUSE
LAST
-- -- -- -- --
FALTER
TINS
-- -- -- -- --
GERMAN BEER MUG
RAID
-- -- -- -- --
JOURNAL
Answers on page 25
9
Replacement of Royal Yacht Britannia?
I
did write before Christmas to Ann Milton to ask
for her views and possible endorsement on a
replacement Royal Yacht Britannia. A grateful,
proud nation repays and rewards it’s Monarch. Her
Majesty, Queen Elizabeth 11, our most loyal and
long serving Queen.
Next year I believe Her Majesty will be our
longest serving Monarch after Queen Victoria, sixty
three years, what an achievement (1952-2015).
I did write earlier this year to Boris Johnson,
Mayor of London, on his views, regarding this
project, as I thought he was just the chap to
instigate a replacement Britannia, what with his
charisma and charm. I got a very nice letter back
thanking me for my suggestion; however they had
no plans at this current time.
My proposal is for a replacement yacht, paid
for by donations and subscriptions from a grateful
and proud nation. I for one would be willing
to make a good contribution, and I am sure
other like minded people would want to contribute
also. Plus I am sure British Steel and Rolls-Royce
would contribute materials and expertise to this
plan of a new yacht, built by the finest British
workmanship and possibly constructed at
Portsmouth.
This would show the world that we can still build
the finest ships here in Britain. Especially now
would be a good time as we are out of recession
and the Nation is experiencing growth again,
unlike Europe.
I would like to survey local feeling regarding this
project as here we have a good mix of people on
the estate and surrounding areas.
I would like to hear from any readers of the
magazine who are interested.
Brian Christmas
Editors note:
Please contact the editor with
any comments on the above via phone, email
or note through the letterbox which will then be
passed
onto
Brian.
01483
234667,
sheilawillis@hotmail.co.uk, 38 Gumbrells Close
25th February
25th March
The Gallery is also open the first Weds of each month 2
-4pm as well as bank holiday Mondays 2-4pm and we
would love to see anyone from Fairlands. Some may
well know about the local people Sime drew his
caricatures of whilst sitting drinking in the New Inn pub
(site of the White Lyon and Dragon')!
10
Trees and Loooove!!
From Sheila, the editor:
Boris, our magazine
mascot, is this month involved with all the valentine
rituals, I do hope he finds true love! So I thought I
would do some articles about trees as I am sure
Boris loves these!!
T
he Lime Tree. Because of its heart shaped
leaves, the lime tree was dedicated to
Venus, the goddess of love. Its leaves and
flowers are said to have many healing qualities and
you can buy lime flower teas in health food shops.
One of the nicest features of lime trees is their
flowers which hang in little clusters and often have
a lovely sent. Bees are highly attracted to the
flowers and make a delicious honey.
The Cedar Tree. These are of great character
and can grow to an enormous size. On Victorian
estates they were often planted next to copper
beeches and monkey puzzle trees. It produces oil
that has a spicy smell and is poisonous to insects
and animals. One way ancient Egyptians made
mummies was by injecting cedar oil into a body
and leaving it to dissolve all the soft organs. They
then drained off the oil and were left with the
preserved skin and bones . Nice!!! Cedar of
Lebanon forests once grew across Lebanon but the
timbers were used up on buildings such as King
Solomon’s Palace and the Temple of Jerusalem.
An ancient grove survives, known as The Cedars of
God and is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
The Oak. The symbol of British strength and
power
is
often
depicted by the oak
tree. But did
you know that
out of about
600 species of oak,
only two are native
to the UK! Through
history it has been a
source of timber for ship
building and for making into
furniture. The fairies have drinking cups made
from the acorns and pigs love to eat them!
Another piece of information from your editor,
(it’s amazing what you turn up when researching
stuff!), is that each year pigs are released into the
New Forest for 60 days to eat acorns which would
otherwise poison the ponies. This is apparently
called the “pannage season”
Sweet Gum Trees. Known by the name of
Liquidambars are usually grown for their superb
autumn colour. The maple-like leaves turn
brilliant shades of orange and red. Resin extracted
from the trunk of the tree has many medicinal
uses and can be made into a gum to freshen the
breath and clean teeth.
Canadian Redwood. Bob and I on a trip to
California visited the Muir Forest. It was
magnificent and full of these wonderful giants.
The forest was about 12 miles north of San
Francisco. But the largest living tree in the world,
by volume is called “General Sherman”. It stands
in the giant forest of Sequoia National Park in
Tulare County in California. It stands 83.8m high
(274.9 feet) and its girth at 6ft is 24,10m (79 feet).
The circumference at the ground level is 31.3m
(102.6ft) Now Boris would surely love that tree!!
11
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TEL: 01483 833241
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12
Ever thought of beekeeping?
G
uildford Division is your local
division of Surrey Beekeepers’
Association which is a registered
charity. The Division started in 1920 and
currently has around 200 members who
are very friendly and happy to welcome
new beekeepers in order to promote the
craft of beekeeping.
The Division has two apiaries. One is
at Newlands Corner and is for members
to place hives on a temporary basis. The
other and our newer apiary, is our lovely
teaching apiary at Birtley House,
Bramley. It is in a beautiful setting with
wonderful views and has excellent
facilities for members. Here we have a
large number of hives for new
beekeepers to obtain the experience and help that
they need before starting out on their own.
We hold Theory and Practical courses for both
beginners and not so new beekeepers at Birtley in
a purpose built facility.
The Theory Courses start in January and run in
the evenings (7.30 to 9.30pm) for 8 weeks. The
costs are £75.00 plus the cost of a recommended
book and include tea/coffee. The Practical Course
will follow on in April at a similar cost. Then
members may purchase a nucleus of bees (subject
to availability) and keep them
there for up to a year. They are
also given an experienced
mentor if they wish.
During the season when the
weather is sufficiently warm
for bees to be flying, we
hold open sessions each
Saturday at Birtley House.
Inspecting the bees.
Beekeepers gather to discuss their bees and new
beekeepers can get hands-on experience of
actually working with the bees themselves.
The honey bee is greatly endangered as
most people will know from recent publicity.
There were 1,250,000 hives in the UK one
hundred years ago. Now, there are about 250,000.
So if you feel like becoming a beekeeper, joining
a club where you have access to great expertise
and training and where you will be assisted with
obtaining your first bees is an excellent way to
start.
If you are interested, please contact our
Chairman, Jane Hall, on 01483 282958 or email
janeandhughhall@aol.com or
guildfordbeekeepers@gmail.com
Hugh Coakley
Gravetts Lane
Apiary meeting at Birtley House.
13
Editors Note: Thank you Jill for sending in the following. It is very thought provoking.
The Train Journey
Life is like a journey on a train . . .
with its stations...
with changes of routes . . .
and with accidents!
unnoticed; we won't even know when they vacated
their
seats
and
got
off
the
train!
This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy,
expectations, hellos, good-byes and farewells.
A good journey is helping, loving, having a good
relationship with all co-passengers and making
sure that we give our best to make their journey
comfortable.
The mystery of this fabulous journey is:
We do not know at which station we ourselves
are going to get off.
So, we must live in the best way - adjust,
forget, forgive and offer the best of what we
have. It is important to do this because when
the time comes for us to leave our seat we
should leave behind beautiful memories for
those who will continue to travel on the
train of life."
W
e board this train when we are born
and our parents get our ticket.
We believe they will always travel on
this train with us.
However, at some station our parents will get off
the train, leaving us alone on this journey.
As time goes by, other passengers will board the
train, many of whom will be significant - our
siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our
life.
Many get off during the journey and leave a
permanent vacuum in our lives. Many will go
Fairlands Weather for December
T
he month of December was very mild and dry and although rain fell on
13 days during the month, the total was only 41.25mm (less than 1¾ of
an inch) and only 52% of the average.
The wettest day was on the 12th when 12.00mm of rain was recorded. There
were 5 air frost during the month, with the coldest night on the 31st,
showing a minimum temperature of –3.4c.
The temperatures during the month were nearly 1 degree above the
average at night, whilst daytime ones were about half a degree above.
The total rainfall for 2014 of 1,077.05mm (42½ inches) was the wettest
year on my records.
Jack Sun
BORIS
14
New to Fairlands
Community Centre
Childrens Dance
Classes and
Adult Fitness Classes
Childrens dance classes are offered in Ballet, Tap and Musical theatre
for children aged 2 to 9 years old.
Adult Aerobics Fitness Class running Friday mornings
Please contact
Nicola S)ddard 07508028171
s)ddarddance.wix.com/s)ddarddancefitness
15
FLG BAR
Forthcoming Events
February 2015
For more details see individual ads in each months FLGCA Magazine
Everyone is welcome young or old, all you need is a
sense of fun and enthusiasm.
Date
Fri 6th February
Event
Time
Bingo - cash prizes
8pm - 9.30pm
Gronya
Sat 7th February
Wed 18th February
60s/70s/80s/90s/00s, pop, modern, country . . .
Whatever you want
8.30pm till late
Quiz
8.30pm
Prizes, Play Your Cards Right, Raffle and Rounds for all the family
Fri 20th February
Bingo - cash prizes
8pm- 9.30pm
Fri 6th March
Bingo - cash prizes
8pm - 9.30pm
Sat 7th March
Wed 18th March
Matt Black
Music and comedy from the Piano Man
8.30pm - late
Quiz
8.30pm
Prizes, Play Your Cards Right, Raffle and Rounds for all the family
Fri 20th March
Bingo - cash prizes
8pm - 9.30pm
Fri 3rd April
Bingo - cash prizes
8pm - 9.30pm
11th April - Nitetrain
Danny Edwardson and Pete Smith are Nitetrain, brilliantly
covering the stuff everybody knows and loves from the Beatles to
Kings of Leon.
2nd May - Elvis
Hes’ back - all those Elvis numbers and much, much more!
6th June - Stylettes
The Stylettes guarantee a great show with great tunes that takes
in the 50s era of Rock’n’Roll (Elvis, Buddy Holly), The 60s beat
boom (Beatles, Stones, Kinks) 60s girl groups (Ronettes, Chiffons)
and some soul classics too (Aretha, Blue Brothers)
Normal bar opening hours
Evenings: Sunday-Wednesday 7.30-11pm
Thursday 7.30m-11.30pm
Friday and Saturday 7.30pm-Midnight
Lunchtimes: 12 noon-2pm Friday and 12 noon-3pm Sunday
16
Wednesday of the month starting at 8pm.
To learn more contact Jenny Page, President, on
01483 538426 or Chris Humphries, Secretary, on
01483 825953.
Val Dillon
Fairlands
WI
Fairlands WI
A
trip to the theatre, a visit to Watts Gallery
and an outing to Alresford are planned
for members of Fairlands WI this spring.
Jenny Page and her fellow committee members
have organised an exciting list of speakers for
the year, including Graham Cornick whose
fascinating talks about wild life have been enjoyed
in the past.
The speaker at the January meeting was David
Rose. He showed photographs of old Guildford
and evoked memories of Guildford High Street
shops, which have either long gone or have
changed dramatically over the years.
The WI is hoping to run a table top sale in April
and a family craft day in November.
On February 11th there will be a talk entitled
“Ruth Ellis, my Sister’s Life – how I came to ghost
write the book.” There will be a competition for the
most interesting letter opener or paper weight.
Visitors to meetings are always welcome at a
nominal charge of £2. Meetings are generally held
at Fairlands Community Centre on the second
Fund Raising
Table Top Sale
Sat 11th April- 11am to 4pm
Have a Spring Clean and
Sell Unwanted Items
If you would like a table yourself or know of
anyone that would like space to sell items the
cost is £10 (bring your own 6ft table) or £11
with a table provided. Please tell other people about this opportunity to have their own
table. Tables will need to be booked and paid
for in advance.
Reserve a space now by contacting:
Sheila 01483 234667
email: sheilawillis@hotmail.co.uk
Weird Anagrams
Rearrange these phrases and amazingly you can make
the phrase next to it.
THE MORSE CODE
=
here come dots
DORMITORY
=
dirty room
SLOT MACHINES
=
cash lost in me
ANIMOSITY
=
is no amity
ELECTION RESULTS
=
lies- let’s recount
A DECIMAL POINT
=
I’m a dot in place
THE EARTHQUAKES
=
that queer shake
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
=
twelve plus one
Thanks Bob M. for sending these in.
17
Thank you to Veronica for contributing these facts
Facts from 1500’s, where a lot of our sayings and
customs today originated from
Where did "Piss Poor" come from?
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so
families used to all pee in a pot. Once it was full it
was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do
this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse
than that were the really poor folk who couldn't
even afford to buy a pot. They "Didn't have a Pot
to Piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
clean water. Then all the other sons and men, then
the women and finally the children. Last of all the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could
actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying,
"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Raining Cats and Dogs / Canopy Beds
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled
high, with no wood underneath. It was the only
place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and
other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes
the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence
the saying, "It's Raining Cats and Dogs." There was
nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where
bugs and other droppings could mess up your
clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet
hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
Bouquets
Most people got married in June because they
took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled
pretty good by June. However, since they were
starting to smell, Brides carried a bouquet of
flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom
today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice
Dirt poor / threshold
In a house the floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had
something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt
poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get
slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread
thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh
until, when you opened the door, it would all start
slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in
the entrance-way. Hence: a Threshold.
6th and 20th February
6th and 20th March
More next Month!
18
Happy Wishes
RECYCLING RITA
A poem by Anne Martin
FIVE ROBINS IN A TREE
THAT'S QUITE SOMETHING
SHOULD YOU SEE,
FOR THE ROBIN
LIKES TO BE
SINGING ALONE
HAPPILY
FOUR DEER IN A GLADE
THAT'S QUITE SOMETHING
LOOK AND STAY
FOR THE DEER
HIDES IN SHADE
EATING GRASS
HAPPILY
FEBRUARY
Tues 3rd
Tues 10th
Tues 17th
Tues 24th
Recycling Green
Grey and Brown
Recycling Green
Grey and Brown
MARCH
Tues 3rd
Tues 10th
Tues 17th
Tues 24th
Tues 31st
Recycling Green
Grey and Brown
Recycling Green
Grey and Brown
Recycling Green
Security Causing Me
Problems
When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for
my groceries the cashier said, “Strip down, facing
me."
Making a mental note so I could complain to my
local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as
she had instructed.
After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally
subsided, I found out that she was referring to how
I should position my banking card!!!!!!!
Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere
in the future.
Thank you Mike for sending this in.
THREE HEDGEHOGS ROLLED IN A BALL
THAT'S QUITE SOMETHING
IF YOU CALL
FOR THE HEDGEHOG
SLEEPS BY THE WALL
SNORING GENTLY
HAPPILY
TWO PENGUINS IN THE SEA
THAT'S QUITE SOMETHING
WOULD YOU AGREE?
FOR THE PENGUIN
LIKES TO BE
DIVING, SWIMMING
HAPPILY
The Beauty Hut
Fairlands
Shellac manicure from £20
Shellac pedicure from £20
Facials from £15 Massage from £15
Waxing from £6 Eyebrow & Eyelash tinting
Visit us in lovely surroundings for a relaxing
treatment, based in Fairlands.
Competitive prices. Fully Qualified Therapists.
ONE FAIRY ON THE WISHING TREE
CLOSE YOUR EYES, CAN YOU SEE?
MAKE YOUR WISHES
ONE, TWO, THREE
THE FAIRY MAY GRANT THEM
HAPPILY.
10% off first treatment
To book call Carris 07468 604822
www.beautyhut.co.uk
19
MEN – DO YOU UNDERSTAND WOMEN?
I
the other way around as well, and one of the
reasons why men don’t understand about women’s
feeling about handbags, shoes and clothes, is that
many only have the bare essentials in their
wardrobes themselves, which makes a woman’s
shoe and clothes collection seem huge, especially
when men don’t understand the need for them all.
In the list of topics which bewilder men, mood
swings came top, followed by shopping being a
social event, and the time it took women to get
ready.
Myself, as a man, I’m well past the time
when it bothered me to any great
extent, one comes to accept it
as part of life, and modern
man is different. Their
clothes and shoes probably
match their partners and
have you seen how long it
takes a young man to prepare
to go out these days!
(I have to back track a bit to
get this past The Editor!!!!!)
Robert ( Bob Willis)
read an article recently about a survey of 2000
men, listing things men don’t understand
about women, and I must admit I found myself
agreeing with some of what was said. Taking an
age to get ready to go out, and always going to
the lavatory in pairs are among the top 50 things.
The survey also found the men don’t understand
women’s obsession with shoes and handbags,
their love of candles and their need for
scatter cushions.
The
contents
of
their
handbags, expensive haircuts
and constant diets also perplex
the average man. The claim to
have ‘nothing to wear’ when
standing in front of a wardrobe
full of clothes also made the list.
In the study it says the average
man was confused by his partner six
times a week. (Really as little as that!)
Most men found the differences
endearing, but some admitted it sometimes
led to arguments. (Define endearing!)
It’s not all one way, however, it does work
20
A quick walk with friends and you’ll feel energised and ready to tackle the day
It's easy to start walking
Walking makes you happy and keeps you healthy. Over 70,000 people walk with Walking for Health regularly.
We'll support you to get started too.
Getting involved with your local Walking for Health scheme couldn't be easier. Find the health walk
scheme closest to you. Visit the national Walking for Health web-site: http://www.walkingforhealth.org.uk and
enter your postcode or place name in the search box. You'll then find all the information you need to join a
group for regular walks.
Join one of our walk groups. It will give you the chance to explore the outdoors, get to know your local area
and meet new people.
Regular walking has many benefits: improved mental health, helps prevent diabetes, helps to reduce weight,
boosts your immune system, prevents development of osteoporosis and osteoarthritis in certain groups, improved muscle strength, and functioning of heart and lungs, helps reduce blood pressure, can have a significant
impact on the risks associated with two of the most common forms of cancer.... and you make new friends!
Just come along. It’s free! Wear waterproof footwear, bring a raincoat on rainy days and set out. Every
step matters. Email Guildfordwfh@outlook.com
For more information visit www.walkingforhealth.org.uk
earlier crops of vegetables such as peas, place a
cloche over the soil to warm it up for a few weeks
before sowing. Force rhubarb by covering the
crown with an upturned bucket or bin, this will
give you nice young growth in about 8 weeks’
time.
Make a note of what you might like to plant in
hanging baskets and tubs and either look to buy
plug plants or, if you are feeling green fingered,
why not try sowing a few seeds.
Don’t forget to keep putting out food and fresh
water for the birds.
G
GARDEN TIPS FOR FEBRUARY
W
ith unseasonal weather during
December and most of January our
poor gardens don’t know if they are
coming or going. Daffodils were shooting in
December and if we don’t get any cold spells will
be flowering very early this Spring. Watch out in
the local press for gardens that will be open in
February as this is a great time to visit gardens to
see displays of snowdrops.
If it is dry enough then take the chance and
mow the lawn but remember to keep the blades
up high. Remember to protect pots from frost by
raising them off the ground if possible and
wrapping in fleece or bubble wrap.
Mid to late February is a good time to start
pruning things like Roses, Wisteria and summer
flowering Clematis. Trim off the old leaves of
Hellebores to display the flowers better. To get
JANUARY CLUB MEETING
T
he topic was “The Secret Life of the Mole”
and was presented by Chris Stewart who is a
certificated mole catcher. The mole turns
out to be a very clever fellow although he is
virtually blind he has a very sensitive nose and an
excellent sense of where he is in his tunnels. The
story of Wind in the Willows gives the impression
of a very loveable creature but if you do manage
to catch one alive then they can be vicious. In the
1880’s mole catchers were one of the best paid
21
labourers and could earn as much as £40/50 per
year which was as much, if not more, than a
teachers pay. The skins were widely used for
clothing, things like trousers, hats and coats and
the mole catcher would sell these at 2s 6d per
dozen.
A solitary moles territory can cover 0.25 to
4 acres and they can tunnel 18 meters a day,
they need about 200 meters of tunnels to give
them the amount of food they need to survive, 20
worms a day and they can also immobilise worms
with a bite to the head section which they then
store. The damage they do to gardens and farms
can be very extensive.
Their life span is
approximately 3 years and the female has one litter
a year of between 2 to 7 kits. The female is only on
heat once a year and after her kits have left she
changes to be more like a male, this increases her
testosterone levels making her more aggressive
towards intruders.
Farmers will employ a mole catcher because
they could lose crops if there is a bad infestation.
They also might lose animals with Listeria which
is picked up from bacteria in the soil of a mole
hill.
The Romans used to catch moles and traps over
the years have changed a lot, many of which are no
longer legal. There are only a couple of types
available for use by the general public but care
should always be taken when setting them.
It was a very good talk
and club members left
with a much better
understanding of the
problems they face
when
being
invaded by a
solitary mole.
Our meetings
are held at the
Emman uel
Parish Centre in
Shepherds
Lane,
Stoughton starting at
8pm. The next meeting
is on Tuesday February
13th when Paolo Arrigo
(Franchi Seeds) will give
his talk “From Seed
to the Plate”.
Visitors
are
always welcome.
22
VALENTINES WORDSEARCH
A
H
C
N
J
F
A
F
C
O
K
C
G
B
D
F
J
A
L
D
N
M
P
A
E
L
M
J
U
L
I
E
T
S
A
R
G
S
C
M
A
E
D
I
K
H
S
K
G
A
N
G
E
C
M
K
H
D
G
I
Q
A
O
B
C
R
R
E
W
K
C
D
F
U
J
E
D
I
U
A
F
L
E
Q
E
J
A
L
S
I
B
A
H
P
C
K
H
O
J
F
B
N
M
W
M
F
S
E
O
S
D
N
E
I
F
A
N
Q
V
G
G
I
O
J
C
P
A
G
D
O
I
U
B
D
Q
G
R
T
K
E
K
L
R
F
H
G
P
C
S
J
M
K
N
U
C
O
F
U
H
L
F
J
F
I
A
F
E
L
J
W
L
V
I
B
R
I
E
K
B
E
H
A
G
E
C
Q
C
T
D
G
E
F
A
W
G
O
A
H
P
D
G
H
D
E
O
E
N
C
S
T
Q
E
N
C
V
D
J
S
M
G
A
U
B
C
K
D
A
P
A
L
F
L
T
V
L
M
K
E
U
K
F
G
L
A
H
O
M
L
H
U
A
N
U
H
G
A
T
N
S
C
D
S
V
L
I
K
O
R
G
C
R
G
K
W
E
P
I
T
I
H
R
A
C
F
M
C
R
H
T
A
P
B
W
V
T
A
F
C
C
P
A
O
E
J
O
P
D
F
B
N
I
T
O
H
J
V
R
S
N
G
C
B
L
H
E
A
R
T
R
D
C
L
P
R
I
E
O
T
F
B
E
H
C
N
G
S
E
O
J
A
H
G
J
A
L
M
S
K
P
Q
A
D
K
J
D
E
D
A
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F
K
T
E
W
F
S
E
H
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M
C
I
A
I
E
A
H
M
C
G
P
O
E
M
K
G
A
K
N
A
Your going to love this months Valentines wordsearch with all your heart. All of the words
on the right appear in the grid above in various ways, they can be forwards, backwards,
diagonal or horizontal or even horizontally backwards. So be a card, gift yourself with a
cup(id) of tea, put (p)ink to paper and rose to the challenge. But keep an eye on the time,
you don’t want to be (choco)late for anything . . .
LOL (Laugh out Loud)
A maid asked the lady of the house for a
pay increase. Her boss was annoyed at
this and asked “Now Maria, why do you
think you deserve a pay increase”?
Maria: “There are three reasons why I
want an increase. The first is that I iron
better than you”
Lady Boss: “Who said you iron better than
me?”
Maria: “Your husband said so”
Lady Boss: “Oh”
Maria: “The second reason is that I am a
better cook than you”
Lady Boss: “Nonsense, who said that
you are a better cook than me?”
Maria: “Your husband did”
Lady Boss: “Oh”
Maria: “My third reason is that I am a
better lover than you”
Lady Boss: really furious now. “Did my
husband say that?”
Maria: “No the gardener did”!!
Lady Boss: “Alright so how much do you
want”?
23
Love
Sweetheart
Rose
Poem
Hugs
Gift
Cupid
Flowers
Heart
Chocolate
Romeo
Dove
Red
Card
Juliet
Kisses
Music
Pink
Romance
Meal
HARRY CATER HALL BOOKINGS - FEBRUARY
Day Date
Time
Sun
No Bookings
1st
Mon 2nd
10.00 - 10.30
10.30 - 11.00
16.00 - 17.00
17.00 - 18.00
3rd
Wed 4th
Thurs 5th
Toddler Ballet (2-4Yrs) HH2
Toddler Tap (2-4yrs) HH2
Performance Tap (4-6yrs)
HH2
Contemporary Ballet (4-6yrs)
HH2
Table Tennis
Thurs 12th
09.55 - 10.55
16.30 - 19.30
Fitsteps (HH)
Rainbows & Brownies (WH/K)
Fri
09.30 - 10.30
10.00 - 13.30
Aerobics/Bodytone (HH1)
Gaynor White Private Booking
(HH2)
Crossroads (HH1)
13th
No Bookings
Sun
15th
No Bookings
13.30 - 15.00
18.00 - 21.00
19.00 - 20.00
Toddler Ballet/Tap (2-4yrs)
HH1
Yoga (HH2)
Art (HH2)
Police Surgery (CR)
Mon 16th
Tue 17th
19.00 - 23.00
13.30 - 15.00
18.00 - 21.00
Table Tennis
Yoga (HH2)
Art (HH2)
09.55 - 10.55
14.00 - 16.00
17.45 - 19.30
Zumba (HH1)
Whist (CR)
Guides (WH/K/CR)
Wed 18th
14.00 - 16.00
Whist (CR)
Thurs 19th
No Bookings
09.55 - 10.55
16.30 - 19.30
Fitsteps (HH1)
Rainbows & Brownies
(WH/K)
Fri
20th
14.15 - 16.45
Café Fairlands (HH1)
Sat
21st
18.30 - 23.45
Jive (WH/K/Bar)
Sun
22nd
13.30 - 16.30
Private Booking -Child's Party
(WH/K)
Mon 23rd
10.00 - 10.30
10.30 - 11.00
16.00 - 17.00
17.00 - 18.00
19.00 - 23.00
Toddler Ballet (2-4Yrs) HH2
Toddler Tap (2-4yrs) HH2
Performance Tap (4-6yrs) HH2
Contemporary Ballet (4-6yrs)
HH2
Table Tennis
24th
13.30 - 15.00
15.30 - 18.00
18.00 - 21.00
Yoga (HH2)
Toddler Ballet/Tap (2-4yrs) HH2
Art (HH2)
Wed 25th
09.55 - 10.55
17.45 - 19.30
Zumba (HH)
Guides (WH/K/CR)
Thurs 26th
09.55 - 10.55
16.30 - 19.30
Fitsteps (HH)
Rainbows & Brownies (WH/K)
Fri
27th
09.30 - 10.30
11.30 - 13.30
Aerobics / Bodytone (HH2)
Crossroads (HH1/K)
Sat
28th
14.00 - 17.00
18.30 - 23..45
Guides Thinking Day (WH/K)
Line Dancing (WH/K/Bar)
15.30 - 18.00
09.30 - 10.30
14.15 - 16.45
Aeorbics/Bodytone (HH2)
Café Fairlands (HH1)
Sat
7th
17.30 - 20.30
Private Booking- Eductional
Sun
8th
08.30 - 16.00
Boxer Dogs - Private Booking
(WH/K)
Mon 9th
10.00 - 10.30
10.30 - 11.00
16.00 - 17.00
Toddler Ballet (2-4Yrs) HH2
Toddler Tap (2-4yrs) HH2
Performance Tap (4-6yrs)
HH2
Contemporary Ballet (4-6yrs)
HH2
Table Tennis
Hall Committee Meeting (CR)
17.00 - 18.00
19.00 - 23.00
20.00 - 21.00
Wed 11th
Event
14th
6th
10th
Time
11.30 - 14.30
Fri
Tue
Day Date
Sat
19.00 - 22.00
Tue
Event
13.30 - 15.00
15.30 - 18.00
18.00 - 21.00
Yoga (HH2)
Toddler Ballet/Tap (2-4yrs)
HH2
Art (HH2)
09.55 - 10.55
17.45 - 19.30
19.45 - 22.30
Zumba (HH)
Guides (WH/K/CR)
WI (WH)
Tue
MH = Main Hall; HH1 = Half Hall (stage end); HH2 = Half Hall;
CR = Common Room; K = Kitchen; CtteeR = Committee Room
Please call the Hall Booking Team on 07932141405 for ALL hall enquiries and bookings.
Please note this phone is not always answered due to work and other commitments. Please leave a
message and your call will be returned as soon as possible. The Hall is available for hire for private parties. Our hire rates are very
competitive with other halls in the area and we offer excellent facilities including a fully fitted kitchen and full bar facilities.
24
Paraprosdokians
Date night.
A sure fire
hit the the
ladies.
Thank you Mike for sending these in. Enjoy!
Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved
them) are figures of speech in which the
latter part of a sentence or phrase is
surprising or unexpected.
1.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's
still on my list.
3.
Since light travels faster than sound, some
people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
4.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to
act in public.
6.
War does not determine who is right - only
who is left.
7.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a
fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
salad.
8.
To steal ideas from one person
plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9.
14. To be sure
of hitting the
target, shoot
first and call
whatever you
hit the target.
15. Going
to
church
doesn't make you a
Christian
any
more
than
standing in a
garage
makes you a car.
is
16. You're never too old to learn something
stupid.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was
blaming you.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its
getting harder and harder for me to find one
now.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In
case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street with a bald head and
a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Answers to Add a Letter
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You
only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
CHAT
PATCH
REPAIR
DRAW
AWARD
TROPHY
BEAK
BREAK
SHATTER
NAME
MANSE
MINISTER’S HOUSE
LAST
STALL
FALTER
TINS
STEIN
GERMAN BEER MUG
RAID
DIARY
JOURNAL
Next Issue
March 2015
All copy must be with the Editor at the latest by the 20th of February
Please send your copy to: Email: sheilawillis@hotmail.co.uk Address: 38 Gumbrells Close phone: 01483 234667
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Current prices are £6 per month for 1/6 page and £10 per month for 1/2 page. If adverts are submitted, the Editor reserves the right to adjust
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The FLGCA Management Council can take no responsibility for the services provided by the advertisements.
Please note any articles written or any opinions expressed from any such articles in the magazine are not necessarily the views or opinions of the
Editor, FLGCA or FLAG. The Editor reserves the right to alter any such article submitted, before placing and printing in the FLGCA magazine.
25
Local Locksmith
Long standing Fairlands resident
Lock out / lost keys
Emergency lock and door opening
Replacement locks and keys
Only Bri8sh standard, insurance approved locks used
+ More
Bathrooms & Kitchens
(design to completion)
Plumbing Tiling Carpentry
Plastering Electrical (NICEIC
Domestic installer)
Local and reliable
24hrs service / NO call out charge
Call Tony Cuthbert
01483 824783
07795184084
Call now
07771 361677 or 01483 651082
E: tony@acuthbert.co.uk
W: www.acuthbert.co.uk
Men8on this advert for 10% discount on labour.
YOUR
CLEANING SERVICES
and More
Healing
&
Tarot Readings
You can sleep well at night knowing
that your home is clean
House Cleaning Carpet Cleaning
Patio Cleaning and Jet Washing
Handy Man Services
Advice & guidance through
Life’s difficul8es
Gentle Healing for Body & Mind
Phone us right now for a free quote
Local and friendly services
Very compatible charges Excellent referrals
Phone us right now for a free quote
Call :
Sally Harvey 07931 622603
Eduardo Freitas 07535294226
Ana Oliveira 07503361585
aeglobalcompany@gmail.com
The service provided is open
to all Faiths
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