J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 5 E D I T I O N Happy new year everyone. Wow! 2015 just sounds soo Good in my spirit. The truth is this is our Good Year where only Good Things are happening to us. A er a wonderful FORWARD 2014, its mind blowing that our Father wants to sa sfy our mouth with more and more good things. S ll talking about good things, a few days back we celebrated the Birthday of a Good Man of God, Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: a gi and a great blessing to our genera on. In this edi on of Bliss, we inserted a few of his rela onship transforming words. So, back to our ini al theme and I ask, what's that good thing you want in your rela onship this year? Do you want to build great friendships, enter into a purposeful courtship or desire to get married to your best friend? You may be seeking healing for your marriage or just want to strengthen your already sweet marriage. Whatever it is, just trust God to bring it to pass this year. Trust Him... And keep a ending LDM. At today's Love, Da ng and Marriage, the very first for this year, we'd be ge ng the COMMON SENSE GUIDE TO DATING. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that it is going to be a memorable and fun learning me; but I s ll will. So keep your heart open and your mind alert for how to apply the lessons learnt. Don't forget to send tes monies of how LDM or reading BLISS has blessed your rela onships/marriage to dccwriters@yahoo.com. 7 MISTAKES SINGLE LADIES MAKE JUST US GIRLS WORDS LEARNT FROM PASTOR KINGSLEY OKONKWO UPCOMING EVENTS LDM REVIEW COME WORSHIP WITH US @ DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE O U R S E R V I C E S LAGOS ABUJA LAGOS (ISLAND) SUNDAYS 7:00AM|8:30AM|10:00AM WEDNESDAY 6:30PM SUNDAYS 9:00AM WEDNESDAY 6:30PM SUNDAYS 11:00AM DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE VICTORY DOME, BEHIND PHCN OFFICE, PETRUS HOTEL ROYAL 7, AGATU STREET, OFF GIMBIYA STREET, AREA 11, FATGBEMS BUS-STOP, AMUWO ODOFIN LAGOS. GARKI, (BESIDE TOP RANK HOTEL), ABUJA. 08077714411 OR 08028356363 DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE EMERALD GARDEN, ELEGUSHI BEACH RD, BESIDE MEADOW HALL, AFTER 3RD ROUNDABOUT, LEKKI LAGOS. The December 2014 Edi on was super interes ng and insigh ul. Our very own Mama, Pastor Mildred taught on the 7 mistakes single ladies make. Now single here refers to anybody who is unmarried whether you are in a rela onship or not. The men also learnt though the topic was more tuned to women. She started by saying God is interested in mentoring rela onships. In Titus 2: 3-4; older women are encouraged to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. God believes if you are mentored, you will not make the same mistake your mentor made and He will prepare you for the blessing your mentor is already experiencing. The truth is people do be er when they know be er. Some mes we might not know we are doing something wrong which is the reason it is important for us to be honest and examine ourselves a er hearing this so we can change. Here are some of the major mistakes single ladies make: 1. Being desperate. Once you are desperate you make wrong choices. Men can smell despera on from a mile away and tend to take advantage of it. A desperate woman will accept anything at all in a rela onship. A woman is a kingmaker, she is a helpmeet; that's how important a woman is. Marriage is good but it is be er if the man does the chasing. Don't propose to a man. People might say things have changed. "Gone are the days…" Times may have changed but the bible has not changed. Despera on is actually a sign of a lack of faith. Relax and trust God. 2. Compromising Marriage is not a des na on but a journey. A lot of people change, compromise, bend themselves backward just for marriage. Don't compromise your walk with Jesus just to walk down the aisle. Marriage is not worth throwing away your des ny for. Again you do not have the power to change a man; it is only God that has the capacity to change someone. w w w . d a v i d s c h r i s t i a n c e n t r e . o r g 3. Unrealis c Lists This is very common among single Chris an ladies. Some ladies have an unrealis c list of the man they want to marry. God never does anything in finished form. God will always give you something in seed form. The kind of man God will bring your way is probably not finished work yet. What most single ladies are looking for are married men ; the re s u l t o f a n o t h e r woman's work. Marriage is an a s s i g n m e n t . Yo u r work is to get him to his des ny; the plan God has for him. 4. Single ladies see men as trees Most single ladies are seeing their husbands but not recognizing him. Most ladies tag some of their very good male friends 'bes e' even when they give them hints. Don't beli le the men around you. Don't underes mate them. He might be small now, but one day he will be great. He might just be a prince now but once you marry him he becomes a king. Remember a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. Pray that you see men as men and not as trees. 5. Premarital sex A lot of single ladies think if they have sex with a man he will marry them which is definitely not true. God created your body to be dessert and not appe zer. If you give a man sex before marriage it becomes a case of “why buy the cow when the milk is free?” Having sex with a man will not change his mind towards marrying you. When God says don't have sex before marriage, He is protec ng you. In a man's world sex is not equated to love. Let him have something to look forward to. Sex before marriage is a sin even if you are in love. 6. Figh ng everybody when you want to get married Some single ladies no longer listen to their friends, parents or even pastors when they want to get married. Everybody but the man becomes the enemy. People who have loved you all the while can't suddenly be against you when you want to get married if something is not wrong. People who watch over you can see things which you will probably never see. Do counseling before you get married. People ahead of you can tell you what to expect so you can preserve your des ny. If they say don't marry him, find out why. The world cannot be against you. 7. Focusing on wedding rather than marriage All some single ladies dream about is the wedding instead of the marriage. A lot of people focus on the roman c side and forget about the reality of marriage. Marriage is work. Marriage has responsibili es. The wedding is one day while marriage is forever. Ask yourself if you are ready for the work, ready to nurture, forgive, sacrifice, submit, etc. Invest in your marriage. Instead of planning a wedding, plan your marriage. One of the ways to begin inves ng in your marriage is to get this en re message as well as other messages and books on rela onships. Remember, you can have the marriage of your dreams. Pastor Mildred Kingsley- Okonkwo Editor-in-Chief Bose Samuel Udeme. Ajiro Asagbra Editors Kolade Bamkefa Fehintoluwa Adebanjo Nonye Uhegwu Funmi Susan Job Jeremiah Paul Favour Musa Joy Obiyan Adaobi Ifedirah Shola Igbalode Kelechi Oparah Johnson Madichie Kelechi C. Ikpe Olusegun Serrano Emmanuella Samuel Lester Ugo Adetola Adeyinka Ngozi Ilondu Ifeoma Aziken Ubong Inyang LAUGHING OUT LOUD VALENTINE'S DREAM. A woman woke up with a start in the morning and told her husband, "I just had a dream, and in it you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?". "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted she hurriedly opened it to find a book titled "The meaning of dreams". …NOT SO COMMON AFTER ALL Valentine Fever F Just Us Girls ebruary the 14th. For some a fantas c day, probably their most roman c day ever especially for the ladies with all those cards, chocolates, candy, cakes and cuddly teddy bears all over the place. Okay maybe the guys get to spend a lot of money so they may not be so passionate about Valen ne's Day but every female I know whether she's 13 or 30 is talking about Valen ne's Day because they know they will either get something sweet to eat, smell, like or cuddle. So what happens to the lady who somehow gets passed up? Especially if all her friends got a cake or a bo le of perfume or worse s ll (for her, that is) an engagement ring. How do we deal with this valen ne issue that burns in the average girl's heart like a fever? does a 13 year old know about love or valen ne? Yet go to the average secondary school boy and he is probably planning to spend your monthly salary equivalent on ge ng a gi for the girl he likes whom he has probably never spoken to just to impress her. She then grows up expec ng that this should happen for her ll she dies and if it doesn't it becomes a problem and she thinks what is wrong with me? Being idle or a lack of vision is another major problem. Once you find purpose as a single person being alone on Valen ne's Day will be the very least of all your problems. Find something to do; something to live for and you will discover that it is very possible to be alone and yet not lonely. Whether or not someone takes you out on the 14th will cease to be an issue because you will be so passionate about what it is you were born to do that such distrac ons will be a thing of the past. Besides, you and a couple of your single friends can take your selves out. Go watch a movie, go on a picnic, do whatever just be sure to stay happy. You don't have to wait around for someone to take you out. Live life to the fullest and enjoy being you, enjoy being alive. Besides by the 15th, it will be just another day. Valen ne would be over and just to show you how insignificant it can be, It is not even a public holiday. Are you now somehow less of a woman because it seems like every man on the face of the earth suddenly needs to get glasses? You begin to ask yourself “what is wrong with me?” and possibly even begin to believe that there is something really wrong with you. That's when the real issues now set in. You start by feeling insecure, then you get depressed, then jealousy starts, then you have serious self esteem problems. This is one of the biggest problems that women ever face: The ba le of iden ty. We allow the things that happen to us to define who we are forge ng that we are worth more than we can ever know. I mean, it cost Jesus his life to redeem us why do we think that a -(from the Book Just Us Girls by N 2 0 0 0 c a k e s h o u l d m a k e a Pastor Mildred Kingsley –Okonkwo) difference? Another reason why not ge ng a valen ne is such a big issue is because we have trained ourselves to believe that this is the norm because of the novels and movies we grow up watching. I mean what The day I met him remains vivid in my memory. Maxwell was standing right with a group of people at a mutual friends' birthday get-together. I did not pay any particular attention to him until towards the end of the party when he came over to chat me up. He was really cool and sounded like a good guy. We exchanged contacts we kept talking from there. Three months after we met, he told me he would like to start a relationship with me. I agreed after taking some time to think about it. I was 23 years. would do so as soon as he settles some things in his 'hustle' – as he calls it. I did not want to continue asking in order not to be a nuisance to him. I believed him. He loved me. That was more than enough for me. Well, it's being Seven good years since that day that we first met. Right here displaying on my phone is the message he sent me yesterday. Maxwell says he wants to move on as he feels the relationship is not working. Besides, he says it will take him more time to get himself 'set up' Well, all has not been rosy. I discovered enough financially to be able to get M a x c o u l d b e q u i t e a g g r e s s i v e married. He is planning to leave the sometimes. He raises his voice and gets country and will be off in a matter of days. belligerent when he is angry. I was surprised the first day he hit me, though he Sitting before a counselor for the first profusely apologized after that. However, time, he asks, Jane, what were you he has done same like three other times thinking all the while'? 'Why did you keep and has apologized on every occasion. quiet about your relationship until now'? Tough, I was really sad every time this 'Why did you choose to go on when he happened; I however believed that men didn't commit to a time to get married to could be aggressive. Besides, I was quite you'? silly myself on some of those occasions. I believed he was going to stop or minimize his aggression if I behaved myself well Truth be told, I didn't think this over properly( I loved him and he loved me, I enough. didn't think anything could go wrong), I didn't get knowledge, I didn't seek Maxwell had repeatedly told me that I counsel. My resolve, it's not late, I will was his exact kind of woman and he was start all over again with God, and I will do looking forward to the day he would it right with His wisdom by my side. I marry me. I have asked him a couple of will get messages and this time do what it times for when he intends to tie the knot says and I know I will meet that good man and he has continued to assure me that he God has for me. Happy birthday to a great teacher, God's servant, our marriage mentor, our Love, Dating and Marriage host, our very own Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo. We love, appreciate and celebrate you Sir. You can't marry someone not spiritually compa ble with you and this goes beyond just being born again-V.M One major lesson... It will be the realiza on that you can't change a man. PK pointed out: "think about how long it takes you to change a habit, and you seriously think you can change another man?" Marriage does not change anyone. -N.I Marriage is about what you can give, not what you can get. Imagine how sweet marriage will be when both par es are only concerned about the other! Wow. That's a huge lesson. ~ Mayowa O. A good marriage, one that is enjoyed not endured, is indeed possible. And I have seen Pst K's marriage model it-M.O Marriage is an ins tu on ordained by God. To enjoy it the way He planned, you have to do it His way -A.T A good marriage, one that is enjoyed not endured, is indeed possible. And I have seen Pst K's marriage model it-M.O There isn't just one person in the en re world for you. –A.A For me, it's the importance of counselling. A spiritual overseer over your rela onship who is not "in love" as you are puts the right balance and perspec ve. ~A.R.A A game-changer for me was that the lady can be older, richer or even more educated as long as they both have the wisdom and maturity to handle it. ~ S.U.A Marry your friend.-V.E That women think differently from men surprised me. I actually have to learn her love language-N.B NLEEW ASE RE THE RUSH HOUR FELLOWSHIP D A V I D ' S C H R I S T I A N C E N T R E MAINLAND 7:00AM|8:30AM|10:00AM VENUE: David’s Christian Centre Victory Dome Behind Phcn Office, Fatgbems Bus-stop, Amuwo Odofin Lagos. CAREER GUEST SPEAKER HOST ISLAND TIME | 11:00AM DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE Emerald Garden, Elegushi Beach Rd, Beside Meadow Hall, after 3rd Roundabout, Lekki Lagos. A L L S U N D AY S I N F E B U A RY IST | 8TH |15TH | 22ND POSITIONING FOR 2015 TUESDAY 3RD OF FEBRUARY, 2015 PST KINGSLEY OKONKWO TIME|6:30PM HOST FREE TRANSPORTATION AVAILABLE W W W . D A V I D S C H R I S T I A N C E N T R E . O R G ENQUIRY: 08028356363, 08077714411 FREE TRANSPORTATION AVAILABLE JIMI TEWE PST KINGSLEY OKONKWO VENUE: SILVERBIRD GALLERIA, HALL 4, 133 AHMADU BELLO WAY VICTORIA ISLAND, LAGOS. ENQUIRY: 08028356363, 08077714411. w w w . t h e r u s h h o u r f e l l o w s h i p . o r g
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